what do your husbands/oh's give for housekeeping

michaels

I love this thread - feels like I have passed through a time port to a more innocent time... 'housekeeping' - how quaint.

Wife and I just have our money in our accounts and our credit cards which we both spend on. At the moment all our savings are in my wife's name as she is not working and pays no tax but they will move if it makes financial sense. I could not begin to understand the idea of marrying someone and then keeping stuff separate, just makes it sound like the marriage is a temporary arrangement and so things are being kept separate to make untangling them easier?

Becles

I kept ours seperate as I have a good credit record and his is bad. I didn't want to be financially linked to him and have my credit record damaged.

elainew

I remember my dad telling me that fellow workers he worked with didnt even tell their wives how much they earned.--thats madness to me.
My FIl used to give my MIL a "wage" each week to feed the 4 kids. If she went over that then she went out cleaning. the thing was he earned lots of money but he never gave her extra.
Just feel strange to me to ask your other half for money .

sparklygirl1

arthur_dent wrote: »

My husband pays for everything that is considered essential to live. I get £20 a week to cover Skating, Brownies, Clothes for me and the children, food that is above shopping eg crisps and chocolate, birthday presents, Christmas presents, bus fares, basically anything that I want and the children want but don't strictly need. If someone can reply and tell me I am being ripped off then that would make my day.

I'm very lucky then, I get £200 per month for all my extras! DH pays for LO pre-school fees as well! I said when she goes swimming he will have to pay for the lessons!

tiddly_widdly

This has been a controversial discussion. I must admit her marriage sounds more like a dictatorship than a relationship.

We have been married for 18 years and always had a joint account until January this year. We decided to separate salaries as I was fed up with him saying "what was this for?" Not in a dictatorial way he just liked to know where our money was going whereas I bought food, kids shoes etc. Things he possibly hadnt budgeted for.

Now our salaries go into separate accounts, He pays the mortgage, bills etc. I buy food and 'extras' etc. If we need to buy something not planned for then whoever has the money pays for it. Regardless of whether its my car that needs fixing or he needs petrol.

Its still very much a joint partnership, I dont have to account for where Ive spent my money and I still have his switch card ! Best of both worlds for me.

Spendless

Becles wrote: »

I kept ours seperate as I have a good credit record and his is bad. I didn't want to be financially linked to him and have my credit record damaged.

I don't know about the others but by 'his' and 'hers' money I meant seperate money rather than seperate accounts. Some of our money is in a sole name but it is still our money not exclusive to 1 person.

eta- just seen tiddlywinks above post- that explains it better, it's still joint money but in seperate accounts.

Spendless

elainew wrote: »

I remember my dad telling me that fellow workers he worked with didnt even tell their wives how much they earned.--thats madness to me.

That's how 1 set of grand-parents were and then one day grandad had a stroke and my nan was left to sort out all bills and finances by herself having never done it before with not a clue to how much money came into the household.

margaretclare

Spendless wrote: »

That's how 1 set of grand-parents were and then one day grandad had a stroke and my nan was left to sort out all bills and finances by herself having never done it before with not a clue to how much money came into the household.

I heard of something like this happening, someone I heard of through CAB.

Husband had 'dealt with everything, given her housekeeping' but he died suddenly, his whole estate was in probate and all she had was the 60% of retirement pension, £50 a week or so. Until Probate was sorted out she couldn't pay any of the bills - she'd never had to pay any of them and then suddenly there were 'final demands' arriving and she was terrified the power would be cut off.

This was when I persuaded DH we should have a joint account for the bills. He'd had bad experiences with joint accounts in a previous marriage, but he listened to me and it has worked well. We haven't a cheque-book or a card on that account, it is kept purely for direct debits, and nearly all of them go out on the first of every month.

DH has now been in hospital for almost 4 weeks. Our finances run like clockwork and it is an absolute godsend, just one less thing to have to worry about. All our bills get paid automatically.

clairehi

Margaretclare, hope your DH gets well soon.

CelticStar

My great grandmother only found out after her husband (my great grandfather) died that her 'keep' which she was given by him to feed and clothe their six children and the two adults and to buy all necessities for the home was actually a third of my great grandfather's wages - the other two thirds of which he kept and spent on himself.

I was horrified when I heard about this but I think it was quite common until fairly recently. My in-laws always kept their money separate and had no idea what one another earned. In fact, when my mother-in-law was widowed she said that she was not going to look through my father-in-law's financial papers because she suspected that he had earned a lot more money than he had ever let on to her and she didn't know how she would cope if she found out that this had been true. He had liked a tipple and a gamble - though neither to excess.

My OH and I have a joint bank account and it works well for us. I can't imagine what it would be like to be constantly asking one another who was going to pay for this or who was going to pay for that.