First one to clear 15k gets a paper hat

clearmydebts

ShelleyC wrote: »

I've been looking at some study foreign language in the country courses. I've always wanted to learn spanish. I speak rubbish French and a strange mix of Italian (lived there for 6 months and can understand lots and speak less!) Had my eye on Argentina where you can do a language & tango course.

Has anyone every had any success with language dvd / courses? I've lent them from the library before but never got to grips with them! Did try to enrol on a night class but beginners was my long day at work so couldn't do it :rolleyes:

Have a look at this ShellyC. There are some great podcasts and Ben seems like a really nice guy.

http://www.notesfromspain.com/

clearmydebts

Hi TooMuch,

So sorry you are having a hard time of it lately. Big hug to you. Please don't be afraid to come on here and offload. That's what we are here for.

clearmydebts

CAFCGirl wrote: »

thanks all.....it really does mean a lot.

I get completely what everyone is saying about still being in training but i just frustrate myself for not being in the right head space, i know i can do the job but i just cant seem to do the job... probably makes no sense...

its like im suddenly wrong in everything.
DH spoke to me earlier on and because i didnt hear what he said and said "pardon" hes gone off in a mental about how i dont listen and there is no communication in our relationship, and it just really doesnt help. i told him yesterday about how much of a sh*te time i was having and i just dont feel like ive got any support,at home or at work......
and money is just such a massive issue. i seem to spend all my time worrying about it, wondering where i can save, and then all these things just happen, and then theres more to pay out and DH gets all these ideas and then thats it, what he wants happens, what i want doesnt matter....

Hi CAFC,

Big hug to you.

First off, there is no way you are rubbish at your job. You are one of the most motivated dynamic people I have come across. I know we are only cyber buddies but you seem like such a lovely person. It's no wonder you feel tired. You are exhausted from worrying about money and also from the long hours you put in for your job. It is not easy taking a pay cut either, I did it myself and it is very hard.

Maybe it is time for you to re-evaluate the job situation and if it is for you? Is there anyway you can pass on some of the financial matters to your OH. Like most of us on here, you seem to be organising all that.

Please don't leave the thread.

CAFCGirl

my oh is just rubbish....
thing is there are a lot of other things within my job that aren't necessarily money in my pocket but are still perks none the less.

i know i could do the job i just cant seem to do it at the moment and i know a lot of it is pyschologically based, but it just feels like i get moaned at all day, and then moaned at all evening, like tonight DH now isnt talking to me because of earlier, he's moaned because i didnt have any dinner sorted out and because i havent done the food shopping.... but i literally feel like ive got no time at all....
its like DH called the loans hes got and there is 9k outstanding on 3 loans to date, and yet he wants to do all these great plans and goals but neglects to remember those ones, like he now wants to do a charity marathon... but needs to raise 3k and reckons hes gonna be doing that come this november...?!

ShelleyC_2

I remember you mentioned before that he's a bit rubbish at the MSE things. Can you try the focus on the stuff thats yours and leave him to have his own LBM whilst secretly cutting up his CC?

Or drag his butt on here and we'll whip him into touch for you xx

CAFCGirl

tried that but he cant afford to cover his share of the bills plus his own debts....

savingholmes

HI CAFCgirl - There has just been so much going on for you. Your new job seems to involve long hours and time away from home - that would take its toll even if the rest of your life was perfect. Sadly none of us have perfect lives or come into jobs in the perfect internal place so it is hard....

You seem very hard working and committed to me - it sounds like you live your life at full pelt and put all your passion and enthusiasm into your job and the rest of your life...

I am finding it really hard in my new job too... I do know tho I could walk away from it and my OH would be there for me which in a way helps me stay if that makes sense... I am hoping I get a different job tho - I have an interview for a role closer to home next week which I will be going to. It is exhausting job hunting but if it isn't working for you where you are - perhaps you need to look and see if there is anything else out there that would suit you better.

Also I am long term on tablets to help me not get too down - I don't know whether you are - but perhaps that and/or some kind of talking therapy could help you too! All I would say is don't be scared to ask for help - like I have said before - anything I can do to help let me know... PM me if you want to...

I think you do need to have a discussion at some point with your OH about the practical as well as emotional side of your relationship. There is so much going on there... it may even be that he would also benefit from a GP visit. Life is tough - and sometimes even us toughies need a little legit help to see us thro!

clearmydebts

Wise words SavingH.

CAFCGirl

hi all,
thanks for the advice.
Thing is I like my job title, i like my role, i like the influence i get to have on someones future, i like being that support network for them for achieving their future health..... just feel like im always the support network and cant fall back on my other half because he's just p*ssy all the time with me for neglecting things at home.

The house looks like a dump, we've got barely any food in, I dont have any time to do anything or talk to anyone because theres always something else which needs to be done and then im flapping all the time about getting things done, that then nothing gets done.
Take this morning for example I'm up at 4am trying to get washing put on, spending some time with the puppy, writing up a shopping list, checking the bank accounts, paying bills, and all this before needing to leave to go to work for a training day.....
Even if I didnt like my job (which I do, I actually love it!) I couldnt leave anyway because we couldnt survive even one month on DH wage....

clearmydebts

CAFCGirl wrote: »

hi all,
thanks for the advice.
Thing is I like my job title, i like my role, i like the influence i get to have on someones future, i like being that support network for them for achieving their future health..... just feel like im always the support network and cant fall back on my other half because he's just p*ssy all the time with me for neglecting things at home.

The house looks like a dump, we've got barely any food in, I dont have any time to do anything or talk to anyone because theres always something else which needs to be done and then im flapping all the time about getting things done, that then nothing gets done.
Take this morning for example I'm up at 4am trying to get washing put on, spending some time with the puppy, writing up a shopping list, checking the bank accounts, paying bills, and all this before needing to leave to go to work for a training day.....
Even if I didnt like my job (which I do, I actually love it!) I couldnt leave anyway because we couldnt survive even one month on DH wage....

Hi CAFC,

I think it's time for you to start delegating some jobs to your OH. Why can't he put out the washing and put on the dinner? A marriage is about 2 halves and if you have long hours and are helping pay off his debt then he needs to start getting off his behind and helping out. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh towards him (he does sound like a nice bloke) but he needs to grow up a bit.

TooMuch - thinking of you and hoping you are okay.