The (not so old) Crocks Cafe

black_paw

waves hand and pops head round door.....broadband seems to be working again...but can't access facebook to play the games grrrr.........hugs to all coffee and hot sausage sandwiches placed out for all

LameWolf

Hi all,

Just playing catchup with the thread, as I've ben offline all weekend (other things to do when Mr LW is here;)).

Sue, how are you now? That fall sounded nasty. Welcome to the BOA club. (As in Base Over Apex).

My ex used to "help" me to fall down the stairs iyswim; luckily I now have a much nicer DH, and a bungalow!;)

Off to the Old Style Flylady thread in a mo, to get my housework list for the day.

Oh, before I forget, I hope the work goes OK Jaz. Take it steady, OK?

*waves* to everyone else.

[Deleted User]

Hope you feel less sore soon, sue!

Has anyone invented the human version of 3-in-1 oil yet? If so, can I have some?

black_paw

wow broadband two days running ! hi all .....passes round christmas cake left overs....yummy..very strong stuff in cake....

black_paw

noticed a new lay out on signing in ! looks nice too

black_paw

and .ooooooooo black dog thread temp closed !!

jazabelle

LameWolf wrote: »

My ex used to "help" me to fall down the stairs iyswim; luckily I now have a much nicer DH, and a bungalow!;)

Oh, before I forget, I hope the work goes OK Jaz. Take it steady, OK?

Aw, that's awful. What a ba**ard. I'm so glad you're with smeone nice now - you deserve it.

Thank you! I got through day one - that's a start, right? Bed early tonight I think!

black_paw wrote: »

and .ooooooooo black dog thread temp closed !!

I just saw! I feel so sorry they don't have anywhere to go, but I can imagine they were uncomfortable with the talk of suicide, self-harm, etc. I think it should stay open, but I kind of see where they are coming from if people constantly complain about it. Although if it bothers people they don't have to go in the thread of course!

purplecatlover

*waves* just saying hello

jazabelle

Hi PCL! How you doing?

purplecatlover

im ok ta jazz, keeping myself distracted and busy so i odnt think too much and dwell on crap and frustrations whilst wishing i could just run away and hide fomr responsibilities and quit ebing an adult (which i am even if i rarely feel like a grown up lol)

jazabelle wrote: »

I just saw! I feel so sorry they don't have anywhere to go, but I can imagine they were uncomfortable with the talk of suicide, self-harm, etc. I think it should stay open, but I kind of see where they are coming from if people constantly complain about it. Although if it bothers people they don't have to go in the thread of course!

im gonna say a few things, in other words ramble.

1. mse is NOT a support forum primarily. there are people here who have no knowledge or experience of mental health issues, least of all of suicide and self harm. its one of the reasons why i dont go int hat thread much, i self harm and i understand it but i dont wnat to see descriptions of severity or counts of how many times etc, what matters is the feeloings that lead to it, not the act itself or the frequency or the severity of it. not becaus eit might be triggering (i hate that word actually, but thats a whole other rant) but because it is not a competition to see who feels worst/can provoke the most sympathy/reactions etc. the common thread on mse is that we all want to save money, the fact that some of us suffer form illnesses is another tie, but to the majority of people here what we see as "normal" is anything but normal and is downright scary and not what they ahve chosen to come to mse to see. its one thing to have a bit of friendly chatter and support (as we do in this thread), its another thing entirely to start putting pressue onto th epeople you are chatting with to take responsibility for how you feel/stop you form doing something harmful/fix you/make things better. we are limited by the internet and all we have are written words which can help but are not always going to be enough.

2. no one ahs nowhere to go. there are fourms out there to provide support for depression, for self harm, for bpd and for all the mental illnesses if you care to look. some are more enabling than others, some have posters who come across as harsh because they challenge rather than sweetly agree with everything that is said.

3. The Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90 or [EMAIL="jo@samaritans.org"]jo@samaritans.org[/EMAIL]
they are trained to talk/respond to suicidal people, and have plenty of support from their colleagues to deal with with feelings/issues that doing so may raise...unlike the majority of posters on mse (who come here as members of the general public no matter what role they lead elsewhere). the samaritans give their tyime voluntarily and willingly so there is always someone there when needed.

4. each person is responsible for their own actions and feelings. no one else can "make" anyone feel or do anything. if someone does something it is entirely their own choice, yes ev en if they think they have no choice. please remember that always.

who ahs seen the movie dangerous minds? there is a scene in it where the teacher is talking about verbs etc. i choose to die is put on the board and one of the students goes on to explain that even if being held at gunpoint and about to be shot he still has a choice,
Because that's the difference between owning your life and being afraid. Saying "l choose" no matter what. You mean, like a guy's got a gun to your head and he's pulling the trigger and you say, "l choose to die"?
No, you ain't choosin' to die, but you can choose to die without screaming, right? I mean, you could always choose somethin'.

thats always stuck with me, everything i do, i choose to do (form amking a cup of tea to self harming, its all a choice always). no one else makes me want to, noone else makes me do so. no one else ever bears any responsibility for my actions or reactions. its a really important thing to remember, and can be really hard to remember when i dont want to have to do the hard work of keeping myself safe, or making myself think differently and fight with myself over stuff.


now who wants tea and who wants coffee?