Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

sarahs999

nottslass wrote: »

Can I ask,after your M/C have you had any medical advise ? I know at our local Hospital you can get referred to the Recurrent miscarriage clinic for more investigations after 3 M/C.

Hi Nottslass,

YEs, because of my terribly decrepit old age (38) they are letting me go to a consultant for recurrent miscarriage after only (!) two m/cs. She's great, this consultant, she's my ob/gyn and has been with me for years. The weird thing about the miscarriages is that they were both very similar. I have early scans because I am a high risk pg (v early adn severe pre-eclampsia in my first pg, resulting in my son being born 3 months premature; he's fine now) and both times the early scans showed developing baby, with a heartbeat, but behind on dates. Of couse i knew my dates were right because I had been temping and charting. So I knew something was wrong both times. THe first one I had a d and c at 13 weeks because it clearly wasn't coming away on its own. THe second I was booked in for a D and C but lost it naturally the day before. So I get quite far in my first trimester, but it just doesn't develop properly. I have to admit that I look at people who get pregnant easily and tehn give birth with no problems and am amazed! And yet, it's supposed to be the majority of people, isn't it?

Anyway. Still waiting for my first period after my most recent m/c, then I will try again. Sigh....

FairyElephant_2

LADY_A wrote: »

another thing is my partner of the last few years has a daughter and wonder will that now affect where i stand with the nhs? also i think if the first dont work what are the rough overall costs of going private i hear a few thousand at least! obviously i know money is nothing in comparrison but i need to be realistic at the same time.

Hiya,
You may have a prob getting IVF on the NHS if your partner has children already - this is why we don't qualify - but I think it varies between regions, your GP should have the guidelines and be able to tell you.

To give you an idea of costs - although these vary a bit between clinics - these are costs of my latest treatment:

Meds £410 (so far!)
IVF/ICSI treatment £3510
Assisted hatching £300
HFEA License Fee £104.50

That is just the IVF stuff - to start with there were consultations, scans etc which cost separately, but the IVF fee includes all the treatment we are having now (as in my earlier post).

Hope that helps to give you an idea.

FE

Hey Lilo - Stay sane! Hope you feeling OK Hun and have a good weekend.

Hi and Welcome to Sarah & Hulagirl!

hulagirl79

Hi
Thanks for makig me feel welcome.
Reading what you all have/are going through makes me feel not so alone.
We have our next appointment with our consltant on 23rd december, so i keep hoping that we willl have good news before then but it is very hard to stay positive.
Hubby and me are still trying but are not really discussing it [i have spent 9 months of the year stressing about it all and being tested for most things] so we have decieded to think about it after christmas and make the descison about ivf then.
In the time we have been trying my sister inlaw has had her little girl and is pregnant with her second and various friends have all had babies.

sarahs999

Hulagirl, it's tough, isn't it, when people have babies around you all the time? When I was first pregnant this year my good friend A got pregnant a couple of weeks later, her first. She's due in January. I lost the baby, she kept hers. My friend B then announced she was pregnant too - but then lost hers too, so we kind of bonded over that. Then I found out my best friend's sister has lost hers too, and a friend of mine who lives abroad. Now both the sister nad the friend abroad are well into successful pregnancies, but me, I lost another one. It does seem unfair - I know it's said often, but it's the only word for it.

hulagirl79

Hi Sarahs999
I am so sorry for what you have been through, i cant even begin to imagine what it has been like for you and otherhalf.
As you said it is very unfair and you want to be happy for those around you who are pregnant, but you still feel sad.
Look after yourself
hugs
xx

LADY_A_5

thankyou so much for your post fe, i had a rough idea (3-4000)
also, i have read this advertisement and although i dont feel its for me but there's a clinic in london that gives free ivf in exchange for eggs as there are many women with problems in concieving and some cannot produce eggs themselves. as i say it's not for me but just thought i would pass on what little info i have on this sensative subject
xx

nikkinoo_3

I've just got back from my daily wander around town during lunch break, during which I decided that DH needs to take MORE vitamins. My reflexologist keeps trying to plug the expensive Maryanne Glenville multivitamins, which I might try later on, but for now I'll plod on with the cheapy high street own brand ones. In the meantime, I've added l'argenine and selenium to DH's list as they're supposed to be essential to the formation and motility of sperm (he also takes Vit C, Zinc, Folic acid, milk thistle and glucosamine (not that the latter two have anything to do with ttc!)). Seeing as his motility was on the low side maybe this'll work miracles?!

Trouble is I don't think he'll take too kindly to the gradually increasing pile of tablets I leave with his cuppa every morning :rolleyes: :rotfl:

Hi to the newbies! And good luck one and all xx

nottslass_2

LADY_A wrote: »

thankyou so much for your post fe, i had a rough idea (3-4000)
also, i have read this advertisement and although i dont feel its for me but there's a clinic in london that gives free ivf in exchange for eggs as there are many women with problems in concieving and some cannot produce eggs themselves. as i say it's not for me but just thought i would pass on what little info i have on this sensative subject
xx

I would have gone for the egg share scheme but you need to be under the age of 36 and I'm much to geriatric for that !

I'm started Ivf with ICSI this cycle and so far my costs have been

£140 for the initial consultation
£120 for AFC scan .

But the real expense will start very soon with a total cost being about 5k(gulp !)

LADY_A_5

wow...as much as 5k? that would have to be a loan job for us.
also, if anyone here did qualify for ivf on nhs..do you know a rough waiting list length? when i went a few years ago it was up to 2 years, i doubt this has changed much and as said prev i may well not qualify now as partner already has a child.
thankyou x

nottslass_2

LADY_A wrote: »

wow...as much as 5k? that would have to be a loan job for us.
also, if anyone here did qualify for ivf on nhs..do you know a rough waiting list length? when i went a few years ago it was up to 2 years, i doubt this has changed much and as said prev i may well not qualify now as partner already has a child.
thankyou x

I do know a couple who "forgot" that the male partner had a child from a previous relationship,thus qualifying for NHS treatment !!! Of course I am not suggesting anybody defrauds the NHS,especially as I work for them.lol