MSE Pregnancy Club III

MrsTinks

AS only you can make the choices in your life but I still think you need to stand up to him and chuck him out - think of the example he's setting for Aston if nothing else.
Be strong hun.

Sami_Bee

astonsmummy wrote: »

Thanks, thats really nice of you, I'm sure it wont come to that, I need to just grow a backbone.
It's not as if he beats me black and blue, he's only hit me when we have rowed so really I should just not get so uptight myself.
I really do appreciate everythign everyone is saying but I know at the moment I'm not in that mental zone to actually act on it all.

I dont want to move away, and my mum has just offered to lend e the money to pay off my rent arrears until I get my PI compensation money so thats at least one worry off my shoulders :rolleyes:

Just remember even if its in the heat of a row its not acceptable behavior, your not being uptight - he is the one with the problem. do you think he would have treatment for his anger prob or are you not even sure if you can approach the subject with him? Anyway if he wants it there is plenty help out there, we looked into it as i was worried about hubby a while back but didn't end up following it up, but if he goes to the GP they can get him counseling etc. I'll leave you alone now, unless you ask for more advice obviously:cool:

SB: I went to see MW on tues this week and my BP was so low the student who took it thought she'd done it wrong:rotfl:it was the lowest I've ever know it to be but was feeling pretty rough this w/e and begining of this week. it was drum roll please 80 over 56!! I'm practically dead _pale_

xredwebx

astonsmummy wrote: »

It's not as if he beats me black and blue, he's only hit me when we have rowed so really I should just not get so uptight myself.

Umm dont mean to be harsh but when is it ever ok to get hit? row or not, pregnant or not, you're not the one who should be worrying about being uptight.

(hugs)

astonsmummy

Sorry guys, I shouldnt of posted here.
Just been reading another thread and some of the replies hit a nerve, I dont want anyone thinking I'm throwing help and advice back in your faces so I wont be posting about my situation anymore.
I think it's best if I just speak to the proffessionals.
Thank you so much though xxxxx

MrsTinks

AS nonsense - I know the thread you're on about and it's nothing like you! Stop comparing yourself to that thread or the poster/s...

redmel1621

AM - Don't feel guilty about posting your concerns on here, and don't feel guilty about acting on advice that is offered to you. At the end of the day it is only advice, no-one is telling you what to do...

I haven't been in your exact situation, but have experienced something similar, without going into too much detail on here, we are still together and he has received professional help since two years ago which included sessions of counselling, and medication which he is still on. We have been together for 14yrs and his temper started to get out of control about 6yrs ago!!! What is important is whether he sees any wrong in the way he treats you...if he doesn't then there is probably very little chance of him changing his ways as he can't change something he sees as right!! If however he realises he is being out of order and regrets it afterwards then there is hope it is just trying to get him to see that he is not a bad person but maybe needs a little help.
I may be completely wrong in my assesment as I obviously don't know you or your OH but as you say you are in touch with ss then please keep talking to them and to whoever else you need to, to ensure you, aston and the baby are safe.

Mel x

feelinggood_2

astonsmummy wrote: »

Sorry guys, I shouldnt of posted here.
Just been reading another thread and some of the replies hit a nerve, I dont want anyone thinking I'm throwing help and advice back in your faces so I wont be posting about my situation anymore.
I think it's best if I just speak to the proffessionals.
Thank you so much though xxxxx

Speaking to professionals is a good idea.

However, don't feel you shouldn't post here.

You are in a very complicated and complex situation, and I'm sure that none of us here think its as simple as just walking out the door. There is a lot more to it than that, and even if leaving is what you ultimately do, the descison isn't easy, simple or straightforward. You are allowed doubts, you are allowed worries, you are allowed indescison.

If talking to us helps, then please do. We'll do our best to help you, and we'll understand that it isn't easy for you. We just want whats best for you

rosies_mum

Apologies in advance for mammoth post (and any spelling mistakes, blame lack of sleep)! Finally got around to seeking out the instructions on how to upload a piccy, just hope it works!

[/IMG]http://s437.photobucket.com/albums/qq91/tjmay03/

Birth story (hope its not too upsetting AF your baby has got to come out one way or the other!)- had a "show" at 7am Sat morning, day after due date. Nothing much happened during day, went to bed, got up to go to loo at 00.15am and water wents! EEkk, just managed to make it to the loo. Rang Labour ward who told me they were closed due to being full AARRGGH! Would have to go to another hosp about 18 miles away (this one was 5 mins down the road) for monitoring. Then asked what colour water were, explained yellowish and she said "baby is in distress, you'll need to go to the next nearest emergency centre", about 40 miles away! Well, by now bp must have been through the roof! Luckily another midwife overheard conversation and when they realised how close I lived, was told I could go in after all PHEW!

Arrived at 1am and hooked up to CTG machine (which monitors babys heart rate). Was changing between 140 bpm to 190 (not good, prefer it to be around the 150 mark!). Dr informed, hooked up to IV drip. Baby had passed meconium whilst inside so would be monitored the whole time. 3cm dilated.

At this point, I was convinced at any moment, the room would fill with Drs and I would be swept off for a c/s (my worst case scenario!).

Contractions didn't really get going for hours (even had to bounce on birth ball to try and get them moving, made me feel like Tigger!). Was managing to breath through the contractions til 8am when they started getting stonger so had pethidine (sp?). On examination, baby had managed to turn 180 degs and was no longer "back to back". MW said things may start happening quicker, was 6cm at 10.45 am. At about 11am got the urge to push (still thought it would be a few hrs!).

Buzzed for MW who didn't think it could be yet. Examined me and was a bit shocked when she could see the head! All kicked off then, me getting the urge to push, them panicking to get gloves on and sterile packs opened! Can't really remember much at this point, but it seemed like only 4 pushes and he was out at 11.27am. So, went from 6cm to giving birth in 45 mins! Yes, it was painful but not excruciating! Was harder than
1st labour as they had the ventouse to pull and cut me so had more room to get her out! However, soon forgotten once I realised I had a little boy - one of each so no need to go through it all again DH cut cord through floods of tears, he has been so much more emotional than me at both births! Ended up with stitches as got 2nd degree tear but they are fine now.


Wanted to see placenta, fascinating (but green from his poo!). He had also managed to tie a "true knot" in the umbilical cord. MW spotted this whilst waiting for placenta to be delivered. My MW said she's only ever experienced this 5 times herself and always offers a prayer for a safe arrival. Had to stay in for 12 hours monitoring because of him having pooed whilst inside but all ok!


Toto - sorry to hear you are having difficulties with BF. I really admire you, I had to stop on Thurs am (spent from 7.45pm tues night til 4am with Matthew attached!) as I had no sleep since going into labour on Sat night as he was just latched on the whole time and it just wasn't practical for me, DH back to work Mon and got DD to get to nursery etc - steering wheel gets in the way when BF!

However MW weighed Matthew today and he only lost 1oz from his birth weight so she advised that although I had "gold top" milk, he was just going to be such a guzzle guts that she agreed that it wasn't practical to spend so long BF. I literally couldn't even find time for a shower! If it wasn't for DD I would have carried on but at least I gave it a go.

AM - sorry to hear your troubles, don't let anyone tell you where you can or can't post. Like everyone else has said, its best to share your feelings, we all want to help, even if its only lending a "virtual ear"! Hope you make the right decision for yourself, DS and bump.

AF - you will be fine, just think of the end result, it is all so worth it when they place your baby in your arms. Every contraction is one nearing to meeting your baby!

Phew, think thats all for now. Will be checking in to follow your stories. Hugs to all and thanks for the support, you are all stars!

cazscoob

AM first of all hugs...... dont think that you shouldnt post here, we are all here for you and at the end of the day only you can make the right decision. all i will say is that the kids will be happier with a happy mummy than with one who is unhappy, things may be hard for a few weeks however they will soon look up!!!!

SB im all caught up!! have all the presents wrapped and a list of what i still need! also will you take it easy woman lol!!!!! do they not have an explanation about your BP????

#sorry about the sweets everyone lol!!! but am going to shop soon fo popcorn etc as we have a few dvds to watch and hopefully an early night! oh and even better a shower!!

feelinggood_2

Where is LittlePickle?