Trying For a Baby II

kmckee999

kencokenco wrote: »

KMCKEE999 When are you lookinng at being started on Clomid.

Im now gonig in june as doctor wanted to make sure everything else was ok first. It would be good to go through it with someone else though.

As you all know Ive had it before but it was administered to me with NO support what so ever, I was on wrong dose to do anything, had no idea when ovulating etc etc due to not having periods for yrs.

This time im being monitored very closely on it with blood tests every wk and appt with consultant every wk, so im in good hands this time rounds. Only thing im really scared about now is that last time I had no side effects due to wrong dose and now im wondering what it will be like as read so many stories on internet of women becoming really nasty while on it.

If anyone has had experience of being on clomid please please let me know as this is my concern now. every day I tick another day of the calendar counting down until I go, but as it is getting nearer im getting more scared so to speak. (why???) I think maybe because I know im gonna be well looked after this time and at the end of it I could well be a very lucky lady with a baby. I have such mixed emotions about it all. I think positive as best I can but I do on occasions have the negative thought of I bet im one of the % that it doesn't work for. What can they do next if it doesn't work. can I afford anymore treatment, should I just try this then stop if not successful. Ohhh I just dont know anymore. I shall wait until after the course of clomid. (im sure it will work though hey ladies )

Well hope you all have a lovely day and chat soon.

Hi kenckenco
wow i had no idea about all these facts about clomid, bein a paramedic one of our A&E docs mentioned the drug to me when i talked to her about my cycle troubles and that it didnt seem like i was OV. So when i talked at length to my GP he wanted to check everythin else was ok before thinkin about clomid. Luckily for me i get, not special treatment but things can happen quicker as im 'in the field ' if u like! :rotfl:

As my results came back ok although my cycles are all over the place and i have no idea when im OV we agreed to wait another few months to see if they settled down! So if and when i would def want to be monitored .

It sounds like now u have everythin in place for that and they are goin to keep a close eye on u. Maybe u wont get any of the side effects some people dont but like u say keep positive my DH is a firm believer in that! and when u end up with a little babe wil all be worth it :j

lots of luck x

catherine_h_2

Hey everyone

Just thought I'd pop in and let you know that I'll be back to join you again soon:(
I had a natural mc last week:(, they say knowledge is dangerous....now I know why!!!

I think we've come to terms with it now, I've got a scan tomorrow to make sure it's all gone and then hopefully we can look forward to trying again. Hopefully taking advantage of this heightened fertility
Any advice is greatly appreciated on what happens after, what to expect(if anything)

kindofagilr, you need to sit and have a chat with him face to face...be grateful he's being honest now and not when you're a few months pg!!!! Also you're so lucky to have someone who's open and honest with you and he's not saying he doesn't want kids, he's just not sure if he's mature enough yet(which to me, if he thinking like that he already is;)).
It could be he's scared of the unknown and what might happen.....I know I am:o


Sorry it's such a miserable post girls, I'll be lurking and will post when I'm feeling a little brighter:)

kmckee999

Morning Evansangel sorry that the witch arrived but glad u r feelin betta today...
get stuck in with the wedding and it wil sure take ur mind of things til u can start BD again

kindofagilr i wanted kids before 30 too but it just never happened that way, some things we just have no control over and relationships and babies is one of them!!
I agree with silverbird (hi) ur OH sounds like a really nice kind lovin bloke and has been totally open with u altough u feel a little late, but least he has explained how he feels and betta that than have a baby too early and risk it all goin wrong and him resentin things he missed out on! have a proper chat and talk things thru will all be fine im sure x

Stil no AF for me CD45 :mad:

li'l_p

Haven't been on these boards for aaagggges, as after BFP... time just seems to have flown by. So much so, that I am now in my 37th week of pregnancy. Just playing the wating game...

Just wanted to reply to kindofagilr and say that I never thought it would happen either. The subject of staring a family would come up every now and then, but it was always the same... "we don't have enough money" and "we should travel a bit more before we settle down". I was getting a little despondant that we would never get to a starting a family and I was rapidly approaching 30. Men are always going to have those fears of 'am I ready', it's completely normal. Even though we had talked about it and OH had said to me to stop taking the pill, I still had pangs of fear of what I was getting myself into. Even the day I found out and told my OH I was pregnant, we sat for a few hours in complete shock and sat talking at length; going over whether we were ready, etc, etc - it's perfectly normal and all just part of the process/shock. I don't think you can ever be fully ready, I know when we were looking to move in together, we had very similar 'excuses' and had we not just made the leap and kept saying 'we can't afford it', we'd still both be living with our parents now! But we did make that decision and have lived together happily now for 5 years. Yes, you do make sacrifices and you do make changes for the better. Same with the baby on the way... it has made us evaluate things and I feel that for us it has made us stronger as a couple. We haven't gone mad either in terms of buying stuff. A lot of our stuff has been either given to us or was off Freecycle, ebay or car boot sales, I think the only things we have bought new are the cot mattress, travel system, bottles and baby monitors. So, babies are as cheap or as expensive as you want them to be.

I believe the email from your OH can actually be viewed really positively... he seems to have opened up and talks in great detail about his feelings - not many men would! I think you can take a lot from it that this is the starting point for him to start getting used to the idea in his head.

One thing I did pick up on was this:

What I do know is that if we are going to start trying for a baby then we need to adjust our lifestyles pretty soon so that our bodies are prepared for it and have all the right vitamins etc, like that folic acid etc.

If that isn't a green light, then I don't know what is.

I think you need to wipe your tears, and realise that he is not saying no and that actually you are now well on the ladder to babydom. You have probably just taken the biggest step towards making these plans a reality. You have done an excellent job of being very open with him as to your wishes and I think he can be praised for being extremely open in return. I don't think it's going to take much now for things to start progressing, it's just going to need a bit of support both ways and for you both to continue to be open and honest with each other; continue to talk and listen - and not force the issue or add pressure.

And finally, send you OH an email back and thank him for his honesty and tell him you appreciate his feedback...something along those lines (I know it sounds daft, but it takes a lot for men to open up like that and it will really pay dividends!).

Hope this helps and good luck.

ETA: I also just picked up on your thread that you say "OH started talking to me about babies last night" - WOW! he really must be thinking about things, to have broached the subject himself...!

kmckee999

Oh catherine h so sorry (((((hugs)))))

hope u r ok and feelin betta soon, yes from all iv read on hear u are very fertile followin mc so fingers crossed for that x x

kindofagilr

Thanks guys for all your replies

Yeah lil_p thats whats confusing me the most though, he said he isnt ready, but then last night he was on the internet looking at baby sites etc and reading things from dads pov's so I thought he was all ok with trying for a baby soon.

And in that post there where he says "if we are going to try for a baby very soon" it all sounds as though he wants to start trying very soon.

But then he talks at length about how he doesnt think he is ready?

I am getting totally confused, does he want to start trying soon or is he wanting to wait quite a few months first?

I cannot wait till 5 when I finish work and I can get home and we can have a proper talk about all this.

Evansangel

catherine_h wrote: »

Hey everyone

Just thought I'd pop in and let you know that I'll be back to join you again soon:(
I had a natural mc last week:(, they say knowledge is dangerous....now I know why!!!

I think we've come to terms with it now, I've got a scan tomorrow to make sure it's all gone and then hopefully we can look forward to trying again. Hopefully taking advantage of this heightened fertility
Any advice is greatly appreciated on what happens after, what to expect(if anything)

kindofagilr, you need to sit and have a chat with him face to face...be grateful he's being honest now and not when you're a few months pg!!!! Also you're so lucky to have someone who's open and honest with you and he's not saying he doesn't want kids, he's just not sure if he's mature enough yet(which to me, if he thinking like that he already is;)).
It could be he's scared of the unknown and what might happen.....I know I am:o


Sorry it's such a miserable post girls, I'll be lurking and will post when I'm feeling a little brighter:)

Oh catherin h, im so sorry

I hope you do get your bfp from the hegihtend fertility.

((((hugs)))) Good luck with everyone and if you wana talk im only a PM away xxxx

li'l_p

kindofagilr

Gee, I think he is seriously wanting to get himself ready... if he is looking at websites and the likes. I don't think you'd find too many men like that - most would just cut off completely and have nothing more said on the subject.

Even though we had decided to go ahead with TTC, I think we were both still scared of the prospect and have still had many pangs of 'fear' throughout the pregnancy, will we cope, will we have enough money..... it never goes away! It is a big step but we know that our lives are not over, far from it - this is just the beginning. We will still be able to travel, as a family, which will probably bring us far greater experiences and pleasure than we would have had as a couple alone. We will not stop going out socially as a couple - that's what grandparents & relatives are for. When you think of all the things you think will 'stop', you'll actually realise that in reality they won't - they'll just be done differently and will need a little more thought as to how you'll factor in the baby to your plans.

I have confidence that things are moving in the right direction for you and it will never be as simple as a straightforward 'yes' route. From your posts, and the things you have (both) said, it seems like you are a very sensible couple and I feel you are certainly going about things the right way.

kencokenco

Catherine very sorry to hear your news big hugs to you hun.:grouphug:
I hope when you are ready you get that BFP

Goodluck hun and remember we are all here to talk too if you need or want us ANYTIME.

kencokenco

Kindofagilr,

I hope all works out for you hun, It seems from your post to be very similar to what my oh was thinking way back in the beginning.

After many messages very similar to yours, my oh told me face to face, he was scared. But was scared I would not have time for him anymore, that he enjoyed the time just the 2 of us spent together, He also said he was unsure if he knew how to be a dad as his own father was not around when he grew up. To which I said we will learn together their are no manuals of how to provide for a baby/child we will learn together.

I hope all works out for you, My circumstances are now slightly different to yours as we are trying and have been for sometime, but as you may have seen from other posts of mine, I unfortunately do not ovulate and was told I had less than <1% chance on conceiving. that then changed with my lovely new consultant. But im glad we did start back when we did now, because if I had waited until being a bit older I would only just be trying and with my problems trying to conceive it could have been to late for me in the age department.

Well goodluck for tonight hun when you get home, but definately talk face to face with him. That way you can both express how you are feeling, and share with him your anxieties now that you have.