Trying For a Baby II

AnnieM_3

Elastigirl. I just wanted to pop in and give you (((((((hugs)))))))) Hopefully this nightmare time will be over for you soon, and you'll have some more concrete information.

AnnieM x

hayley11

I feel a bit upset at the moment. I was just showing my OH the stuff I got for my friends baby shower and the clothes I bought for the baby and I was feeling so broody and I just said I really want one, do you really want one? And he said well I never really wanted one. So I asked him what he meant, because he was the one who brought it up back in Nov when we said we'd start trying and he said yeah but then we'd decided to not "actively" try - whatever that means, if i'm not on the pill and we're having sex then we are "actively" trying! But then he started going on about money and how we couldn't manage with a baby. So I said we could because i've worked it out and I know we can manage (he hasn't clue about the incoming/outgoings of our house anyway, I deal with it all) I just don't understand why he has changed his mind. I want a baby so badly and I know it may take a while to get pregnant and I am prepared for that but i'm not prepared to stop trying altogether.

So I started feeling a bit upset so I came upstairs but i'll go back down and have a chat with him and see what's going on. This is the first time in my life that I have felt like I am ready, I know it really hurts and it's hard work and you get no sleep and stuff but I don't care about any of that.

Sorry for the moan

vickyjayne

dotn worry about moaning, men are such fickle creatures im sure your OH is just having a bad day.
When i first fell pg with my dd my OH was really excited for about a week then he changed his mind and said he didnt really want a baby and only did it for me, i was really upset. He soon came around or just didnt show me anymore but then when our dd was born and he held her he soon changed his mind, he told me that he was only like he was because he was nervous about how he was going to cope.
He was really good as he helped alot when i had post natal depression, look at me rambling now

Im sure you and your OH will sort it out and that he does really want a baby other wise why would he BD with you when you are not on the pill knowing full well that it could result in you being pg (hopefully soon)

Thinking of you and hope you both sort things out xx

Floxxie

elastigirl wrote: »

Thanks for the hugs i need them, i just can't believe ive got to go through it all again! i'm going crazy as stupid thoughts keep entering my head like what if i mc one twin and i am still pg with the other one. Highly unlikely i know. Got to stop thinking there is anything there as i will be in bits. I can't believe no one has heard of hcg levels increasing after a mc. i can see that if they don't find anything on the scan i will need keyhole op to see whats going on.

Hi elastigirl,

I had elevated hormone levels for 12 weeks after one of my mcs. Each pregnancy test showed as if I was pregnant. I didn't bothersking what the blood tests showed (I guess they will continue checking yours as I believe it can tell if there is an ectopic). I was scanned weekly to see if there was any material left but there wasn't. I continued bleeding on and off as well. It wasn't a great time as I was desperate to move on but I guess it was my body telling me I wasn't ready. Sorry I didn't see at what stage you mc; mine was 2nd trimester. I don't know if that makes any difference.

I hope it works out well for you (and everyone else on this thread).

Hugs.

Floxxie

hayley11

Thanks Vicky They are very annoying aren't they? :rolleyes:

I just went to have a chat with him and he just said he didn't mean it like that, what other way could he have meant it?? He said he doesn't want me to go back on the pill, he'll be happy if we do get pregnant but he doesn't want to "try" - he needs to explain the difference to me because I honestly can't see one I just said I want you to actually WANT one, not just be okay if we do get pregnant, it's not fun being all excited and broody by myself! Oh he does confuse me. I think i'm just making something out of nothing though to be honest, I've been so up and down this week I'm going to be a barrel of laughs when AF arrives in a few days aren't I? :rolleyes:

got-it-spend-it

Definitely feel like AF is on the way- don't think it's been my month this month!

Has anyone on here got any experience of high blood pressure? I've had high blood pressure since I was 18- not so high that I have to take medication but high enough that I'm not ever allowed to take the pill. Does anyone know whether there is a high chance that this will get worse with preg? Not looking for advice but just wondered whether anyone had any experience of it? Should I go to the doctor while we're TTC to ask about it?

Hugs and baby dust to everyone who needs them x x

vickyjayne

perhaps he thinks that if your 'actively' trying and it doesnt happen straight away he will feel like a failure cos some men just dont understand that its not as easy as 1-2-3 to get pg, they think they can deposit their little men and thats it, if he said he doesnt mind if you get pg he must want one so i would carry on trying but not tell him when you are oving and stuff so he is not under pressure to perform, you never know this could be your lucky month and u wont have to worry anymore

got-it-spend-it

hayley11 wrote: »

Thanks Vicky They are very annoying aren't they? :rolleyes:

I just went to have a chat with him and he just said he didn't mean it like that, what other way could he have meant it?? He said he doesn't want me to go back on the pill, he'll be happy if we do get pregnant but he doesn't want to "try" - he needs to explain the difference to me because I honestly can't see one I just said I want you to actually WANT one, not just be okay if we do get pregnant, it's not fun being all excited and broody by myself! Oh he does confuse me. I think i'm just making something out of nothing though to be honest, I've been so up and down this week I'm going to be a barrel of laughs when AF arrives in a few days aren't I? :rolleyes:

I agree with Vickyjane- by not actively trying it takes the pressure off. Sounds like he does want a baby, just not all the 'planning effort' that goes into it:D .

AnnieM_3

Hayley - Just a thought: My DH went through a phase of being a bit 'anti' the whole baby idea after we'd been ttc for 2 or 3 months. I think it's something that happens often - I've seen a few posts at various times from people in here who have been through similar situations.

AnnieM x

hayley11

Thanks ladies

He apologised because he realised what he said sounded a bit mean and I apologised for being a nutter :rotfl:

I think you're right though, he might feel under pressure so I wont tell him anymore when i'm ovulating (you mean I can't moan about the pains I get, tut )

Although I don't feel like i've been going on and on about it, maybe he does, so I will try not to talk about it much now. I've got my friends and mum and you guys, I don't need him :rotfl: (I just need his sperm )