Enquiry about benefits and housing?

parisjordana

parisjordana wrote: »

If you care for your girlfriend which Im sure deep down you do ,dont inpregnate her....concentrate on practising safe sex,it will be less stressfull:T

and what I forgot to put on the end was AND FAR FAR CHEAPER and a lot more fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

even saying that I have a daughter of this same age and shes not even thinking of doing this sort of stuff yet....she wants to go to college and do A levels and then pursue to UNI and do teacher training and then she says she may have a relationship (chances are she will have a boyfriend before shes 17)but .... having sex and a baby isnt what most 16 yr olds think of is it :shocked: :undecided maybe the sex bit but surely not the baby bit(??????????) unless maybe (only an idea)you are trying to escape from something and that something must be real bad as to make you think that having a baby will improve things and take you away from what it is thats troubling you....its like jumping from one fire into another one.... just dont do it

bestpud

parisjordana wrote: »

and what I forgot to put on the end was AND FAR FAR CHEAPER and a lot more fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

even saying that I have a daughter of this same age and shes not even thinking of doing this sort of stuff yet....she wants to go to college and do A levels and then pursue to UNI and do teacher training and then she says she may have a relationship (chances are she will have a boyfriend before shes 17)but .... having sex and a baby isnt what most 16 yr olds think of is it :shocked: :undecided maybe the sex bit but surely not the baby bit(??????????) unless maybe (only an idea)you are trying to escape from something and that something must be real bad as to make you think that having a baby will improve things and take you away from what it is thats troubling you....its like jumping from one fire into another one.... just dont do it

Sadly, I think that is the case exactly for many of the planned teenage pregnancies (well, for the pre-18 ones anyway).

It's only once the baby is here that they then start to realise it isn't quite the escape they had in mind.

It's very said imo, for the parent and baby.

GlasweJen

I'm sorry but if you can't afford a baby then don't have one, condoms are free these days and the benefits system is not here to prop up your wants to be a father over your childs need to be looked after by its parents. I'm sure all 16 year olds want a baby, it's a hormone thing but that doesn't mean they can actually look after one 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Get a job, get a couple grand savings and then you can ditch the contraception.

Oldernotwiser

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm sure all 16 year olds want a baby, it's a hormone thing

I'm sure most 16 year olds DON'T! Most of them want to have a good time, lots of friends, travel, music, clothes, study (for many) and life experiences. It's usually only 16 year olds with no future and no aspirations who want a baby - thank God!

mouseymousey99

I suspect a bit of low self esteem here........(re wanting a baby).....and more than a bit of controling going on...would a 16yr old girl still want a baby if she suddenly had a 'life' with friends and a future....

Pssst

Definite troll to upset joe bloggs taxpayer and the chattering classes....

parisjordana

I agree with you oldernotwiser,my 16 yr old has seen how demanding a child can be as she has a younger sister and this has definately put her off (and her younger sister isnt even a baby shes in junior school) and I can vouch for a lot of her friends also the last thing on their minds is a baby they all look forward to their future,chilling out and listening to music etc and the be all and end all of my 16 yr old girl is her social life ie her friends....

seven-day-weekend

I wasn't even really ready for a baby when I had my son at 30 - we just knew that we would want a child eventually and didn't want to leave it any longer. We'd been married nine years - most people thought we would never have a family.

A mother at 16? Perish the thought!! I was still in nappies myself!

Bogof_Babe

One thing is puzzling me and I don't think anyone else has yet picked it up...

You say you are engaged and having a baby seems the next stage. Erm, when I was your age people got married as the next stage after getting engaged. I realise this is highly unfashionable nowadays, but if you don't intend to marry then what's the point of being engaged? And if you do intend to marry then wouldn't it make sense to do that before you try for a baby?

Planning your wedding would give you something else to think about and perhaps make your g/f less broody. As part of planning a marriage, most people also apply themselves to the small matter of where they are going to live and how they are going to afford it.

krisskross

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

One thing is puzzling me and I don't think anyone else has yet picked it up...

You say you are engaged and having a baby seems the next stage. Erm, when I was your age people got married as the next stage after getting engaged. I realise this is highly unfashionable nowadays, but if you don't intend to marry then what's the point of being engaged? And if you do intend to marry then wouldn't it make sense to do that before you try for a baby?

Planning your wedding would give you something else to think about and perhaps make your g/f less broody. As part of planning a marriage, most people also apply themselves to the small matter of where they are going to live and how they are going to afford it.

We really are showing our age. Yes I was 'engaged to be married'. not 'engaged to be pregnant'.

I think engagement these days is more about a pretty ring than a definite commitment to each other. Plus of course the precurser to marriage. Shame, I loved being engaged and making plans. So romantic and exciting.