help i'm in bits

Firefly

loulou88 wrote: »

Thankyou so much this is one of the best replies left on here thankyou for that

Are you the OP? Have you changed username to confuse us?

Hope your sons visit home went well and that he is enjoying his training.

loulou88

well I thought i'd let you all know how things went. I tried on the Saturday he was due home to ring the camp no joy no answer a machine!
I did eventually get through to a lady who was rude and said what do you want me to do? Then in walked his major and so she passed the phone to him. I expalined my son was due leave on Saturday and had been told he flies on Monday and that leave was meant to last until Sunday but he flies back on Friday. So Monday he is home late and Fiday he leaves early so his weeks leave just went to Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday at home. He already knew about this and was angry. He was very nice had time to talk to me and was very glad I had rang as he explained that the booking office (he called it something else) had made mistakes. He had previously told them my son could come home on Friday as I was not able to go to parents day (I cant afford the 4 flights and hotel and same again for passing out at the end of January)So as far as he was concerned my son was coming home on Friday it wasnt until he was told on Friday my son was still there that he knew about the Monday flights. He was angry he told me. His words"the army has stuffed your family and it should not happen" He was now going to his seniors to make sure this never happened again to junior soldiers and could use the fact that I had rang up as an official complaint. So I was right to ring up.
I told him that if my son had not loved the army so much he would have dropped out and they need to be carefull they dont loose other trainees.
He said he would pass that on to his senior staff and a meeting was going to be called about trainees and how it was going with the senior staff.
So I did feel like my phone call was helpfull to them and future trainees. So I was right to ring.
Anyway my son came home on Monday looking tired and we had a lovely time .My daughter has come to realise that he is ok and she will see him now and again. She has since settled down nicely and is looking forward to our little holiday at the end of January to see his passing out parade.
My son is loving every second of the army and is learning alot and I am sure he will have a great life in the army. He seems happy and that is good. It was sad to see him go back as I'm sure it will always be but I am proud of him and will always support him in whatever he does.

As for some of the comments above
If I had him tied to my apron strings I would not have signed the consent form for him to join the army.
I do not interfere this is the only time I will ring up Im sure, as I say I support him in whatever he decides. I was telling HIM not to worry at least he was getting home not to kick up a fuss. This situation was all wrong. When the major is mad the system is wrong somewhere don't you think?
Yes my daughter has found it hard I am a single parent. My older son 19 had left home only 2 months before this son started his training so from having 2 older brothers at home all your life (no dad around ) to none in 2 months is hard. She is used to it now. From 4 of us to 2 of us is hard for a 12 year old but she ok now.

My son is enjoying his training and is happy so all is well
Thankyou all for support some of it not so constructive but some great.

I do think the army are on whole great and the best support was from the major I talked to at camp.
I am sad a little that some people on here just thought i was a nurotic mother who could not let go, If you knew me personally you would know how wrong this is. I just hope that other mothers whos sons/ daughters want to join the army after reading this will still let them do so and support them.

Cat695

loulou88 wrote: »

well I thought i'd let you all know how things went. I tried on the Saturday he was due home to ring the camp no joy no answer a machine!
I did eventually get through to a lady who was rude and said what do you want me to do? Then in walked his major and so she passed the phone to him. I expalined my son was due leave on Saturday and had been told he flies on Monday and that leave was meant to last until Sunday but he flies back on Friday. So Monday he is home late and Fiday he leaves early so his weeks leave just went to Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday at home. He already knew about this and was angry. He was very nice had time to talk to me and was very glad I had rang as he explained that the booking office (he called it something else) had made mistakes. He had previously told them my son could come home on Friday as I was not able to go to parents day (I cant afford the 4 flights and hotel and same again for passing out at the end of January)So as far as he was concerned my son was coming home on Friday it wasnt until he was told on Friday my son was still there that he knew about the Monday flights. He was angry he told me. His words"the army has stuffed your family and it should not happen" He was now going to his seniors to make sure this never happened again to junior soldiers and could use the fact that I had rang up as an official complaint. So I was right to ring up.
I told him that if my son had not loved the army so much he would have dropped out and they need to be carefull they dont loose other trainees.
He said he would pass that on to his senior staff and a meeting was going to be called about trainees and how it was going with the senior staff.
So I did feel like my phone call was helpfull to them and future trainees. So I was right to ring.
Anyway my son came home on Monday looking tired and we had a lovely time .My daughter has come to realise that he is ok and she will see him now and again. She has since settled down nicely and is looking forward to our little holiday at the end of January to see his passing out parade.
My son is loving every second of the army and is learning alot and I am sure he will have a great life in the army. He seems happy and that is good. It was sad to see him go back as I'm sure it will always be but I am proud of him and will always support him in whatever he does.

As for some of the comments above
If I had him tied to my apron strings I would not have signed the consent form for him to join the army.
I do not interfere this is the only time I will ring up Im sure as I say I support him in whatever he decides I was telling him not to worry at least he was getting home not kicking up a fuss. This was all wrong where the major id mad the system is wrong somewhere don't you think?
Yes my daughter has found it hard I am a single parent My older son 19 had left home only 2 months before this son started his training so from having 2 older brothers at home all your life (no dad around ) to none in 2 months is hard but she is used to it now. From 4 of us to 2 of us is hard for a 12 year old but she ok now.
my son is enjoying his training and is happy so all is well
Thankyou all for support some of it not so constructive but some great.

I do think the army are on whole great and the best support was from the major I talked to at camp.
I am sad a little that some people on here just thought i was a nurotic mother who could not let go, If you knew me personally you would know how wrong this is. I just hope that other mothers whos sons/ daughters want to join the army after reading this will still let them do so and support them.

Lou please don't ever feel like you have to justify yourself to some of the small minded people on this forum....I'm sorry things never got sorted in time but am glad you all had a great time.

You did nothing wrong!

Look forward now to his pass off.....I hope your still going.

loulou88

only the bad weather and the plane stopping will stop me going to his passing out. I have saved hard booked and paid for flights to get down there for me and my daughter and booked 4 nights in travlelodge only £19 a night for the room.
We travel 1 day before passing out to make sure delayed flights wont stop me seeing parade. I got a new memory card for my camera.I want lots of photos. I just need to save to fly home now.:rotfl: Ill get there just need to worry how to get home:rotfl: .I'll book those before xmas when Ive saved more.
I know I dont have to justify myself I just dont want other parents to be put off. Son is sooooo happy and I know he is doing right thing.
I knew it would n't get sorted was too late but I wanted to make sure they didn't do this to anyone else.
I did ask them to make sure this didn't happen at xmas they said it can't as camp is closed on the day thay tell me his leave starts. But well see.
Thanks for your support :beer:

mrsthrifty_2

loulou88 wrote: »

Thankyou so much this is one of the best replies left on here thankyou for that

Your Welcome , glad everything got sorted and you had a good break

really pleased your Son has settled and enjoying it so much

enjoy your mini holiday in Jan and let us know all the details.

I remember our DS's passing out day for the RAF, I was fine until they turned the corner and came into view doing their march by ... make sure you have plenty of tissues ready ... the boys will have become men

little-lou-pink

sorry for any confusion over names I am the original poster my laptop signs me in with one name and I had to get new account when my laptop wasnt working forgot my log in details noe laptop fixed so I need to rectify this sorry I forgot I had 2 names
little-lou-pink and loulou88

frugallass

tartanterra wrote: »

When you ask a question, aren't you supposed to let them answer it, instead of you?:rolleyes:

I was quietly confident that the answer would be 'no':p

Marker_2

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]I wish I had spotted this thread before you son came home Lou.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]I am quite surprised at some of the comments on this thread, for those that are already serving, wives of, mothers of etc know what the score is. Probably already been let down many a time before (has the cynic in you surfaced yet?) you know the drills, you know the let downs – this lady blatantly doesn’t.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]When you are new to this sort of environment you don’t really know what to expect. The careers office paint a beautiful little picture … I know I was sucked in, which resulted in me giving my other half thumbs up to join.[/FONT]
[FONT=CG Times (W1)]This lady could of done with a lot more support in the run up to her sons leave. Other peoples accounts of being let down may have helped, along with other peoples accounts of what good the forces has done so it doesn’t seem all doom and gloom.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]The forces is a frustrating thing. Highs and lows around every corner, most places don’t seem to have that ‘support’ network we were told about in the form of other wags and mothers. The best network I have ever found has been on the net with random others experiencing similar situations.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]This lad is a boy turning into a man, hardly an overnight thing. To be a parent is a wonderful thing and letting go is hard, I still have another 16 years to go which im not looking forward to, I bit more sympathy, support and encouragement to this mother wouldn’t of gone a miss.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]Congratulations to all those who have warmed into army life as smoothly as you appear on this site, unfortunately it is not as simple for others, especially if you were with them before they joined up. In time, and usually a short space of time you get to find out what forces life is like and deal with it in your own special way … having others who understand and are sympathetic is key in my opinion.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]I am not having a go at any of the ‘harsher’ posters on this thread, I have said harsher things to those vulnerable so cant really point fingers. But I would ask that if there is someone who comes on this side of the board again expressing concerns and worries of this nature and they are new to forces life you would cut them a little slack. [/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]Oh and the Welfare Service provide welfare on all issues, don’t feel like you cant ring them because they might have more pressing matters. There is always something else floating about that is more important than your own problem so where can you draw the line. On the one time I contacted welfare they were superb, they couldn’t physically do a lot for me but provided a well needed shoulder. I hope all welfare services do their jobs just as well.[/FONT]

[FONT=CG Times (W1)]PS: Sorry for the long winded post.[/FONT]
[FONT=CG Times (W1)]PPS: Well done if you got to the end of it.[/FONT]
[FONT=CG Times (W1)]PPPS: Nothing![/FONT]

pollyanna78

Hi lou I cant believe wot ppl have said here .... 1 thing its different having a child join up than having ur hsuband in!!!!! My husband has been in the INFANTRY for 21 years on numerous tours and my father was before him.... my DAUGHTER has joined up and yes she is 18 and left home and had the BALLS to go on her own to a across the water on her own! not knowing anybody or anything there. I as her mother am worried about her as u are about ur son and as has happened there have been a few things that have came to light which shouldnt have happened. My hubby who has been a recruiter for the past 3 years was gob smacked when these things were going on as they DO HAVE DUTY OF CARE!!!!! and he was sending kids there telling them 1 thing and wasnt wot was happening the other end!

U have the right to phone when u have a concern as I will if I have 1 and dont listen to some of the ppl here!!!:mad:

genieuk

tartanterra wrote: »

Have you ever been in theatre?????
The last Lynx aircraft fatally downed in Iraq contained 1 x Navy pilot, 1 x Army pilot, 1 x Royal Marine door gunner and 2 x RAF passengers.
All theatres contain personnel from all three arms of the Services, often in mixed roles. It is utterly irresponsible to suggest otherwise, and therefore give people a false impression of what may be expected of them when they join up.

To get back to the original thread - I imagine that whilst Welfare services will be quite happy to help a mother who is missing her young lad after a few weeks training, they may be quite busy at the moment, helping those trying to re-adjust to family life after six months under fire or helping families cope with the loss or permanent crippling of a loved one.
Just a thought.

Maybe I am wrong but I think you have inferred what cat said incorrectly yes there are the three services in operational theatres and yes the training is different because they have different roles.

We are currently at a tri-service unit I have seen some of the differences for myself.

Also each unit has its own Welfare staff UWO - Unit Welfare officer and UWWO - welfare warrant officer along with elements of SSAFA and AWS - army welfare service, to no name but a few agencies. So I would be very surprised to hear that these people at an ATR would be busy helping those returning from operations. Unless someone has been seconded as an individual augmentee.

Not to sound rude but I wander if you are still serving, my husband has completed 3 tours in as many years and I can assure you the that Welfare were not falling over themselves to help my husband and our family re- adjust, on his last return we were moving house and country again two weeks later.