help i'm in bits

Cat695

gt568 wrote: »

I'm afraid it is meddling...as I said in an earlier post she wouldn't be ringing up if he worked in Waitrose and couldn't get home as planned...it is his career and future, not his mothers..

I never said it would get him into trouble, but trust me if word gets out amongst his fellow recruits that mummy is on the phone bleating, well it could make his life uncomfortable..

Lastly maybe he isn't too bothered about rushing home, perhaps he is enjoying his freedom away from the apron strings....

well as i was a training screw at winchester myself, i can assure you that at least 90% of the parents rang up....those recruits whos parents didn't, either didn't care and didn't turn up for their pass off, or they didn't have any. Joining the forces is like no ther job in this country.....please show me where a 15/16 yro leaves home for a job??

yes i completely agree that he has to grow up fast (and will do) and his mum will have to understand she can't have control over him....but he isn't actually in the army yet....not until he is 17, he can leave at any time he wants because of his age. He has not been blabbering he is a kid that has been away from home for the first time in his life.......i think a break is in order don't you.

He's NOT a soldier he training to become a soldier, two very different things.

gt568

Cat695 wrote: »

well as i was a training screw at winchester myself, i can assure you that at least 90% of the parents rang up....those recruits whos parents didn't, either didn't care and didn't turn up for their pass off, or they didn't have any. Joining the forces is like no ther job in this country.....please show me where a 15/16 yro leaves home for a job??

yes i completely agree that he has to grow up fast (and will do) and his mum will have to understand she can't have control over him....but he isn't actually in the army yet....not until he is 17, he can leave at any time he wants because of his age. He has not been blabbering he is a kid that has been away from home for the first time in his life.......i think a break is in order don't you.

He's NOT a soldier he training to become a soldier, two very different things.

He has still attested and is in the Army...and I too have worked at training establishments, both phase one and phase two, I know what it is like.

A break is in order, but his mother cannot kick off just because things dont suit her..

Is she going to phone HQ Land when his tristar goes t1ts up in Kandahar next year and he is late back?

Ivrytwr3

well as i was a training screw at winchester myself, i can assure you that at least 90% of the parents rang up....those recruits whos parents didn't, either didn't care and didn't turn up for their pass off, or they didn't have any.

I don't believe that for a second. My parents never called, yet they cared and turned up for my pass out.

Rainbow_Butterfly

This is a tricky situation for any parent to be in, my little one is still small but I can imagine the worry when he leaves home.

However, I am also an RAF wife, and like the others have said dissapointment is just part of the course when it comes to the forces, you learn never to rely on any date given to you until they actually walk through the door.

I have been with my hubby since before he joined up, when he was in phase 1 and 2 training I barely saw him, and their leave weekends were often changed as late as the friday afternoon.
Since then he has been away with the RAF while DS was in intensive care, and also missed his first xmas.
It sadly is the life that they sign up for, you just have to smile at the good bits and keep your chin up best you can for the bad.
If he is miserable and cannot cope then by all means speak to welfare, but I dont think that calling up stomping your feet because he will be late home will do any good at all.

xx

gt568

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

I don't believe that for a second. My parents never called, yet they cared and turned up for my pass out.

You're not wrong....

We hardly get any calls at my current training establishment.

Cat695

gt568 wrote: »

You're not wrong....

We hardly get any calls at my current training establishment.

Next you'll be telling me I'm not even in the Army.

Well after that little program on the BBC i can understand why, when Instructors for some reason feel the need to hit recruits (must feel very big of themselves hitting young lads).

And if parents haven't rung up then its probably down to the recruits telling them not to bother as your in no way appraochable.....(i'm guessing your infantry).

I'm sorry but you just show your lack of compassion when it comes to a recruit....Many qualities are needed to be a Instructor at a ATR and your slowly showing you don't have all of them.


She is not kicking off, all she is trying to do is to getting them to see that there is an earlier flight......seeing as he is not an adult and is looked on as a blabbering(in your eyes), then no wonder his mum has to speak to some one higher up the chain.

But then again does this show that ATR's are now full of incompetant people who no longer are the best of the Army like it use to be?

frugallass

gt568 wrote: »

his mother cannot kick off just because things dont suit her..

how is she kicking off?

Firefly

I think we need to have sympathy and show empathy on all counts here:

Son has a new job; that's what it is, a job. Just like if he worked in Tesco and his lunch break or annual leave were delayed, Mum wouldn't phone up his boss then, would she? Mum's don't get involved with sons employers; it's not like school. Frustrating but we need to let those apron strings go a little.

However, we all need to recognise having a young child move away from the supportive environment of the family unit to another unit hundreds of miles away is a challenging time. Relinquishing that vital role you play in your childs care, to someone else who will play a hugely imporant role in their life (i.e. the Army) is difficult.

Sister needs support too. Her brother has obviously filled a role in her life. I haven't heard mention of dad, but I know that in a situation where dad isn't present, siblings can fill a void. Not consciously, but it happens. She needs strategies for filling her time and emotional space until her brother comes home. But then he probably won't ever come home to the role he has left as he'll have his own life now. Ouch, that's hard to think about, isn't it?

He needs space to learn what his new role as a soldier means without the anquish of knowing what he has left behind.

We can support the OP, and in turn, she can support her daughter. I can think of lots of strategies that would help. Unfortunately calling sons base isn't one of them. If it were the case that they weren't supporting him to come home then perhaps a phone call would be warranted. But he'll be on his way soon.

I wouldn't describe it as 'kicking off' but perhaps over involved. Understandably so given the circumstances, but not appropriate either. I can understand how she feels. I've been that person left behind and it's hard.

gt568

Cat695 wrote: »

Next you'll be telling me I'm not even in the Army.

Well after that little program on the BBC i can understand why, when Instructors for some reason feel the need to hit recruits (must feel very big of themselves hitting young lads).

And if parents haven't rung up then its probably down to the recruits telling them not to bother as your in no way appraochable.....(i'm guessing your infantry).

I'm sorry but you just show your lack of compassion when it comes to a recruit....Many qualities are needed to be a Instructor at a ATR and your slowly showing you don't have all of them.


She is not kicking off, all she is trying to do is to getting them to see that there is an earlier flight......seeing as he is not an adult and is looked on as a blabbering(in your eyes), then no wonder his mum has to speak to some one higher up the chain.

But then again does this show that ATR's are now full of incompetant people who no longer are the best of the Army like it use to be?

You may be in army, but I am not. Clearly we treat our recruits much better in the RAF and there is no need for parental interference...they are free to ring up at any time...however they don't..

Love the reference to the BBC program...some of the beebs finest work:rolleyes: with no editorial slant what-so-ever...It's no wonder parents worry with sensationalist reporting like that..

Furthermore where have I said he was blabbering? I'm looking at things from his POV...

His mother is stamping her feet because he isn't coming home when she wanted, well thats disappointing definately, but he is still coming home.

You need to see things from the lads perspective, not the mothers...If he started an apprenticeship at 16 with a civilian employer, like many do, I'm sure she wouldn't be ringing up his employer meddling. He will not thank her in the long run. Let him do his own thing.

gt568

frugallass wrote: »

how is she kicking off?

She is interfering in his career...will she ring his boss when he gets sent to the 'Stan?