Fathers Rights

mat2113

conradmum wrote: »

It sounds from what you're saying that your partner stayed at home with your son while he was growing up and worked part time. In which case a court would see this as contributing in kind to the upkeep of the house. How could she both work to earn enough to pay half of the bills and look after your son? When you say she only paid for food, do you mean she paid for nothing else at all? What about clothes, toys, excursions? I think a court might see it that she's entitled to a percentage of the value of the house, whether her name's on the deeds or not.

She has aways worked part time even before my son was born, i buy 95% of his toys,i pay for his school dinners, swimming leassons, kung foo lessons, school trips, photos etc etc. Plus my famliy help with all the child care, her family have never help out at all.

mat2113

arthur_dent wrote: »

Do not let her leave the house with your son. You are in by far the better position financially but the second you allow her custody, you have said that she is ok to have him and you will not win. Tell her that if she is leaviung she is not taking him with her and that he is staying with you. Fathers have absolutly no rights, she can basically do anything she pleases except for taking him out of the country. By the way retain the passport at all costs. Mothers have all the rights and fathers have none.

Any arrangement you make now however reasonable it may seem will change the second she has custody, he will be ill or she will be going to a wedding with him or moving to the other side of the country.

I think that my son would like to stay with me, because he as always been a dads boy. I was really upset when i found out that i had no rights, the laws are all wrong. i have his passport in my safe which she has no keys to, i am taking him to LA next year ( i mite not come back ).

arthur_dent_2

Unfortunately you cannot do that and I am sure that you wouldn't take him from his mother! I am extremely pro fathers rights and would never take my children away from thier dad. The mother can basically do as she pleases from the second that you agree to her taking the boy out of your permanent residential care. It is so important that you don't let her. Make her move out and make her fight for access and financial contribution. The CSA will take into account how many nights a week that your boy is in whose custody. I may sound like a broken record but it is really important or you will end up with nothing.

mat2113

arthur_dent wrote: »

Unfortunately you cannot do that and I am sure that you wouldn't take him from his mother! I am extremely pro fathers rights and would never take my children away from thier dad. The mother can basically do as she pleases from the second that you agree to her taking the boy out of your permanent residential care. It is so important that you don't let her. Make her move out and make her fight for access and financial contribution. The CSA will take into account how many nights a week that your boy is in whose custody. I may sound like a broken record but it is really important or you will end up with nothing.

thanks, i have said that i will give her £5000 for rights to my son and for not going after my house. In a year or 2 this mite be the best thing for us all.

mat2113

She has said that i won't go though the csa, and has asked to do it between us. i have said that i will put £ 120 a month in to a bank account for him, when he needs anything i will buy it out of that account, so if the csa does come after me i can prove that i have paid.

mat2113

We told my son today that we are spilting up, he was very upset. He has told my ex that he wants to stay with me, she has gone over her mothers to stay. She phone tonite and told me that he can stay with me and she won't make him go. Were do i go from here!!

I phoned work and told them that i won't be in tomorrow, i am going to go on long term sick ( i get 6 months full paid ). I am been on to entiled to it shows that if i drop my hours to 16 per work i will get £160 per week pay plus £112 per week tax credits, does this include child benefit and child tax's credit.

MrsTinks

I think getting joint custody might be for the best - but make sure you get custody in one shape of another... Not sure about the benefits and credits - no doubt someone else can explain that
Until it's in writing then definitely remain nice etc and £5000 is probably getting of fairly lightly... well relatively - especially if you get main custody of your child

Loopy_Girl

mat2113 wrote: »

We told my son today that we are spilting up, he was very upset. He has told my ex that he wants to stay with me, she has gone over her mothers to stay. She phone tonite and told me that he can stay with me and she won't make him go. Were do i go from here!!

I phoned work and told them that i won't be in tomorrow, i am going to go on long term sick ( i get 6 months full paid ). I am been on to entiled to it shows that if i drop my hours to 16 per work i will get £160 per week pay plus £112 per week tax credits, does this include child benefit and child tax's credit.

As per the benefits board...the £112 is WTC/CTC and you would get CB of £18.80 on top of that.

arthur_dent_2

Get it all down in some sort of legal document that she is happy to let you have main parental responsability.

Savvy_Sue

mat2113 wrote: »

I phoned work and told them that i won't be in tomorrow, i am going to go on long term sick ( i get 6 months full paid ). I am been on to entiled to it shows that if i drop my hours to 16 per work i will get £160 per week pay plus £112 per week tax credits, does this include child benefit and child tax's credit.

You'll only be able to go onto long term sick if your GP is prepared to sign you off long term sick.

And, TBH, I wouldn't recommend that for the medium to longer term. Because if you take your 6 months full paid sick leave, your employer may quite reasonably ask what's going to change at the end of the 6 months, and if there's doubt about the likelihood of you going back to work, you may find yourself out of work.

I would start with EITHER short-term sick leave, if you aren't well enough to work, OR emergency dependents' leave (which may be unpaid). And immediately ask about reducing your hours - think about how you could combine work with childcare, what support you'll get, whether there are childminders / nurseries / out of school clubs you could use. Then you need to make a case for how the business can still get done if you're part-time - you don't have a RIGHT to reduce your hours, you have to make a case for it, and your employer can turn you down if they can say it's necessary for the business that you work full-time.

And however much of a daddy's boy your son is, please make sure he gets to see his mum regularly, and that you and she remain civil and assure him that it's not his fault you've split up.