Fathers Rights

milliebear00001

MrsTine wrote: »

Ok from a purely practical point of view and to answer your questions: your house is in your name only and you are not married - thus you retain ownership of the property and any savings in YOUR name. Any in joint names should be split and the accounts closed - how you decide this is a different matter.
Your son: Your name is on the birth certificate - this gives you some rights and also financial responcibility should he live with his mother. CSA can get involved if you prefer or you can work out a fair amount between you. If you cannot agree on who the child should live with you can go through the courts. This is likely to get VERY unpleasant.

That out of the way - She's under a lot of stress as are you right now - some time apart might be a very good idea and then some relationship counselling to see if things can be worked out. Even if only to be able to be amicable in future for the sake of your son.

Hi there

Although you legally own your house, a court will almost certainly rule that your son has a right to his home and so you are unlikely to be able to tell your gf to leave until your son is 18 - assuming she has custody of him. This may make it extremely difficult to sell the house from under her so to speak. In terms of your right to your son, as you are not married and, I assume, have not applied for joint parental responsibility, you actually have very few rights. If your son's birth was registered after 1st December 2006, then you automatically have PR and have the same rights as the mother.

You need to talk calmly with your gf about access. Is she willing to consider giving you residency? Or maybe even sharing residency? If you can sort these issues between yourselves, so much the better! If she decides to be obstructive, and you don't already have it, I would apply for joint parental responsibility as soon as possible as this gives you far more rights.

Debt_Free_Chick

MrsTine wrote: »

Ok from a purely practical point of view and to answer your questions: your house is in your name only and you are not married - thus you retain ownership of the property

And, as a follow up to MillieBear's post, she may have acquired a beneficial interest in some of the property (in practice, a right to a share in some of the equity). This is a horribly complex area.

MrsTinks

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

And, as a follow up to MillieBear's post, she may have acquired a beneficial interest in some of the property (in practice, a right to a share in some of the equity). This is a horribly complex area.

How if she has contributed nothing financially to the bills or mortgage? Can you direct me to a documented case so I can have a read? (Sorry not trying to be difficult I'm genuinely interested!) Legally there is nothing called commonlaw wife - so if she has contributed nothing then she has no legal right to the property. The OP has a legal obligation to support the child but NOT his partner/ex partner.

I do however still feel that a amicable solution would be most beneficial to all and especially to the child...

Debt_Free_Chick

MrsTine wrote: »

How if she has contributed nothing financially to the bills or mortgage? Can you direct me to a documented case so I can have a read? (Sorry not trying to be difficult I'm genuinely interested!)

This is what Shelter has to say. That it depends as much on "common intention" as it does financial contribution.

And - doesn't the concept of a "contribution in kind" apply? Where she has not worked, but cared for the child? Or is that a principle reserved only for married couples?

mat2113

thanks for all the posts. we have talked a bit tonight and we have came to the decision that it would be for the best to spit - to much has been said on both sides. She has promised that i will not lose my son. Although she has paid nothing into the house i have said that i will sign a percentage of the house over to her if she takes over the mortgage. I paid £29995 for the house and spend about £10000 on it. I have £20000 owning on it and it was valued at £110000 3 months ago.If she pays the mortgage on £25000 i will sign 40% over to her, and the house will be sold when my son is 21, i will start again.She has said that she will given 50/50 custody .do you think that is fair? i feel like my world has fell apart!

elektra-2007

If i was you I wouldnt move out of the house I would stick to my guns and stay...Why cant ur ex find a place to live and do 50/50 custody, I know you spent 11 years toghether but it was ur house originally I would make a will to say should anything happen to you your house would go to your son...That should be enough for her. If you move out that will be it of your house.

MrsTinks

I would seriously see a solicitor before you sign anything like that! And certainly not until she signs a document stating that you WILL get 50/50 access to your son. You have the bargaining chips in the form of the house etc - don't let go of them until she has upheld her part of formalising access to your son. Personally I'd not let her have the house... but that's just me and you have to do what YOU feel is right. Although I'd leave it a little while and allow things to cool down before you settle on something permanently about the house. Sorry i just don't think that YOU should need to start over because SHE has decided to throw in the towel

Dave_®f©

Steady Mat...your in emotional turmoil at the moment. Take your time about the financial decisions until your head is clearer. No need to rush just yet. Take some time out to think all your options through with a clear head.

I know how you feel at the minute but it will get better...

N71

mat2113 wrote: »

thanks for all the posts. we have talked a bit tonight and we have came to the decision that it would be for the best to spit - to much has been said on both sides. She has promised that i will not lose my son. Although she has paid nothing into the house i have said that i will sign a percentage of the house over to her if she takes over the mortgage. I paid £29995 for the house and spend about £10000 on it. I have £20000 owning on it and it was valued at £110000 3 months ago.If she pays the mortgage on £25000 i will sign 40% over to her, and the house will be sold when my son is 21, i will start again.She has said that she will given 50/50 custody .do you think that is fair? i feel like my world has fell apart!

I'm not sure about this. Why should you have to leave your house? She wants to split so surely she should leave?

Ex and me never married but had two kids together and were together for 12 years before we split 7 years ago.

We bought the house together and it was in joint names - but just because I was the mum and was keeping the children, that gave me no more rights to the house than he had.

He wanted to leave the house, so i had to remortgage in my own name to buy him out.

I think there is a common belief that whoever has the kid(s) automatically gets the house - and its not true.

Also, be careful with 50/50 custody. Only one of you can claim the child benefit and tax credits for the child, and that person can also claim child maintenance off the other parent.

You would get some reduction from CSA for having 50/50 care - but would still have to pay her. A basic quick calculation would be 15% of your net weekly income as the basic maintenance calculation, halved for shared care, then I think £7 or £8 taken off to take into account that she gets the child benefit.

milliebear00001

I think the point is being missed that this is not about who should stay in the house, the issue is that it's his son's HOME. If he wants his son to suffer as little disruption as possible, he will allow his son to stay in his home with the parent his son would be better off with. I'm not saying that's his mum rather than his dad, but that's how most Courts will see it. There is a moral issue here as well as a legal one - and for me, that would also include whether the gf has a right to some of the equity from what is her home too.