Fathers Rights

seven-day-weekend

mrcow wrote: »

She is the mother of your son!
You've been together for 11 years.

Give her some repect man! Sheesh! :mad:

He is the father of her son.

He too deserves respect.

arthur_dent_2

I think that first you will have to carefully establish who your son wishes to stay with. If it is you then this should be fairly straightforward. I would not leave your home under any circumstances by the way. However if she wants custardy then I am afraid it will be extremely difficult and as a father you stand very little chance of getting a fair deal. I wish you all the best and hope this can resolve itself amicably.

conradmum

If your partner is spending so much time caring for her sick mother I'm not sure how she's going to be best placed to care for your son. Maybe the best solution would be that she goes to live with her mother for the time being and sees your son at weekends?

Don't sign anything until you've been to see a solicitor.

pinkshoes

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I think the point is being missed that this is not about who should stay in the house, the issue is that it's his son's HOME. If he wants his son to suffer as little disruption as possible, he will allow his son to stay in his home with the parent his son would be better off with. I'm not saying that's his mum rather than his dad, but that's how most Courts will see it. There is a moral issue here as well as a legal one - and for me, that would also include whether the gf has a right to some of the equity from what is her home too.

mat2113 wrote: »

We have a 6 year old son who i love more than any thing, i am so afraid that i will lose him!!!. If we do part what will happen, i bought the house and lived by myself for a year before she moved in. i pay all the bills and do most of the child care.

Given that the OP did the majority of the child care, paid all the bills/mortgage etc... then the court would perhaps see it a more logical option that the OP remains in the house with the son, and the g/f moves out and rents elsewhere, and then has the son to stay for 50% of the time?

If the time is split 50/50, then no maintenance needs to be paid. If the OP has him more than 50%, then she can pay him maintenance.

DO NOT sign anything over to her until talking to a solicitor.

justapuppy

Hi Matt, have a look at http://www.marriedornot.org.uk - It should have all of your legal rights information there.

mat2113

thanks for all the reply's, because she has no one to help with child care she has said that she will leave my son with me. It is really hard, because i don't want to hurt her ( i must be mad). at the moment i work for a large airline earning £18000 gross per year for 37.5 hour, if i drop my hours down to 20 per week what money would i be entitled to? and would they take my saving in to account?

MrsTinks

You need to make sure you get the paperwork in order for this so you have custody of your child. Ironically that means you can claim Child support from her if she works. I'm guessing you don't wish to but you need to keep the fact in mind if things get tight.
Have a look at http://www.entitledto.co.uk/ to see what help and tax relief you will get. Once she moves out you can start with getting council tax rebate as you will be the only adult in the property.

MrsTinks

Out of interest do you have enough savings to pay off the mortgage? Paying this off might make day to day living easier...

arthur_dent_2

Make sure that you get it written down somewhere that you are being left with custody of your son. Also should she change her mind about custody do not allow her to look after your son otherwise the courts will then grant in her favour because you have deemed her capable of being the main custodial parent. If she leaves you in charge then this works in your favour as she has said that you are capable of looking after DS.

Mary_ernest

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Hi there

Although you legally own your house, a court will almost certainly rule that your son has a right to his home and so you are unlikely to be able to tell your gf to leave until your son is 18 - assuming she has custody of him. This may make it extremely difficult to sell the house from under her so to speak. In terms of your right to your son, as you are not married and, I assume, have not applied for joint parental responsibility, you actually have very few rights. If your son's birth was registered after 1st December 2006, then you automatically have PR and have the same rights as the mother.

You need to talk calmly with your gf about access. Is she willing to consider giving you residency? Or maybe even sharing residency? If you can sort these issues between yourselves, so much the better! If she decides to be obstructive, and you don't already have it, I would apply for joint parental responsibility as soon as possible as this gives you far more rights.

Have you thought of using family mediation? Mediators will help you to thnk about what your son needs from both you so that you have a good set of arrangements to share his care. Knowing your legal rights and responsibilities is important but ultimately parents love their children more than solicitors and judges! It's a mistake to think that the courts will 'fix' the problem for them. You need to keep talking and cooperate. If this is difficult then mediators can help. Mediation is free if you qualify for public funding and a fraction of solicitors' costs if you aren't. Mediation can also help you discuss the financial settlement and child support if you wish.

Your son has a right to have a good relationship with both parents so if mum or dad is preventing this and mediation hasn't worked then you should apply to court. Provided there are no child protection issues or domestic violence concerns, many judges will refer parents to mediators if they haven't tried it
already.