The ultimate incentive to get debt free, can I do it by New Years?

clearmydebts

He just needs to move over and get any job and then start training in September, it will be a shame if he can't get a job doing what he wants but life isn't always perfect.I think he has over-analysed the whole thing. I think you were right to stop him proposing, a ring on your finger won't ease the pressure of what you are arguing about now, I think it would make it worse.

Dinah93

Lol yeah that was the deal he made with me - wish I knew if it still stood though, he appears to be somewhat uncertain if he's still going to come now!

For all my whinging about Ireland today, I am looking forward to my week there, bit of a holiday, quality time together, think we're going riding too which always clears my head, and havent been in a couple of months now - head is far too fuddled!

Dinah93

Just got a message from him, asking my opinion on a very nice present he's getting for my parents (his don't want presents from 'just' a girlfriend - could a comment be more generic and yet more cutting all at once?!) - how can he be spending time getting a present and putting thought into it, yet seem so unsure about our future?

clearmydebts

Ring him up and say

'Get your !!!! over here now'

That's what a fiesty Irish woman would do. Lol!!!!!!!!!!!

Dinah93

clearmydebts wrote: »

He just needs to move over and get any job and then start training in September, it will be a shame if he can't get a job doing what he wants but life isn't always perfect.I think he has over-analysed the whole thing. I think you were right to stop him proposing, a ring on your finger won't ease the pressure of what you are arguing about now, I think it would make it worse.

It was so spur of the moment, he proposed to his ex spur of the moment and it was a huge mistake, I wanted to know he was certain. Because it isn't just a fancy bit of a jewellery, it's a commitment to saying 'i want to spend the rest of my life not only with you, but making you happy'

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

His dad gives him hell for 'doing nothing' but he doesn't want him to take a supermarket job or something, seems to think it's beneath him. Surely it's more respectable to work for a living at something simple than to sit at home because you are somehow too good for what is offered you?! ?

Definitely, I'd much rather be doing something than nothing, I'd be climbing the walls at home all day. I think it's better to have something (anything!) to put on your CV as well. It shows willing.

Dinah93 wrote: »

A large part of me thinks this is my fault, he had no doubts about coming here and everything until I stopped him proposing, now he's pulled so far back from me I need a map and compass to find him. Anyone have any romantic ideas to say 'i know I was an idiot and broke your heart, I thought I was acting in your best interest, please forvgive me and trust me again'?

You could just say that, it's honest and to the point.

Dinah93

clearmydebts wrote: »

Ring him up and say

'Get your !!!! over here now'

That's what a fiesty Irish woman would do. Lol!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll try that! Probably best not to do it when he's with his mother tho....

Dinah93

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

You could just say that, it's honest and to the point.

Tried, he say's he's forgiven me but he's changed completely since then, clearly he doesn't trust me not to use his heart as a chew toy.

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

Tried, he say's he's forgiven me but he's changed completely since then, clearly he doesn't trust me not to use his heart as a chew toy.

Nice imagery!

Cinny91

You really need to have a talk with him, maybe he doesn't know how he's coming across? Rich is constantly like that and I want to ring his neck most of the time.

Like when he was looking for a new job, I know now he was plodding along with it trying his best but at the time I took it quite personally that he wasn't trying hard and felt like he didn't want to try to build a bridge to a way of us being able to move in together, I saw it as something big and he just saw it as getting a new job. Mainly because I think things over too much, but I hope you get what I'm getting at?

Men don't think before they speak, but unlike women, can be so bloody thick at times they don't even notice.