The ultimate incentive to get debt free, can I do it by New Years?

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

I just was looking forward to being debt free, and this will slow it all down. I had this stupid version in my head of how I wanted things to be, and now it's all cloudy and mucky and nasty.

That's how life is Dinah, and this is a GOOD THING remember. Not too long ago you were worried he wouldn't move over at all.

And what Poddle says is a really good idea, if he can get a shared house that'll be a really good way for him to meet new people independently of you and settle into England a bit.

Cinny91

yaay!! I would burst out into a huge smile and make everyone in my office a tea in celebration but I'm in the firing line of a row!

So happy for you Missy! Maybe you're just feeling a bit on edge about it now because it's finally happening? To me you seem like one of those people who likes to have control over things that are going on and this isn't one of those things. But I think you'd be right in not moving out with your OH into your own rented place just yet, you still have some debt to go and I don't want to sound like a party pooper! I just think it would be better for you financially, more like a head over heart suggestion!
I agree with CMD and Tete about your OH moving into a shared house maybe, and you can always go and stay with him some nights and visa-versa.

Anyways, think about that later. Right now think about the fact your lovely OH is moving over and things are looking peachy. *insert none dodgy hug*

Dinah93

It's more the fact if he lives elsewhere I don't think I will see him. Urgh, I need to talk to him tonight. Wish he knew what was best but I doubt he'll have a clue either.

You hit the nail on the head Cinny, I do need control at all times. Which is one of the reasons I hate renting, its utterly powerless.

It's 5 months until the lad moves out of my parents house and OH could move in, might as well be a lifetime for all the hassle its going to cause. I want to move in with him as I want to be with him, but financially it's a bad move, and I think I would end up hating myself again for living in what I feel is a 'wrong' situation.

D x

Oh and huge LOL to your no naughties thing Tete!

clearmydebts

Hi,

Big congrats to your OH. That is fantastic news.

I think the best solution would be for him to stay at your house (for a week or 2 until he finds his feet) and look for a shared accommodation with other tenants. The you will be able to visit him whenever you want! I'm sure your Mum wouldn't object to him staying for a little while while he searches. He seems to come over for long periods as it is so it would be temporary.

How exciting!

Lara44

Yay! That's great news for you and your OH, Dinah! I am with CMD, he should stay with you guys for a little bit in order to find a nice shared house for a bit.

When my OH moved up from Devon to London we shared separately and it was really nice. We saw each other loads as were able to stay over. However, we both lost our jobs and moved in together because of the practicalities of finding rent.

I don't regret it, but I played down moving in together as it was a bit scary. It would have been a bit nicer to have made a big deal about it. Also we still live in a shared house, just sharing a room. So even though we have lived together for 3 years, we have never lived just the two of us. I would *love* to move out and rent our own place, but we are staying here so we can save for a house deposit.

If you're not sure, don't worry - just let him get a rented room. There's loads of time in the next year to see how the land lies. You might really want to move in with him after 6 months, or feel more sure that you'd rather be married.

Anyway you'll definitely see him more now than in Ireland, lol

Also some good news from me - I got the part time job - yippeee!
Somebody send me some of those virtual brownies you've all been making!

clearmydebts

Yay, a big bucket of brownies for you Lara. Well done on the job!!!!

got-it-spend-it

Yay for you Lara- I've just had a real brownie to celebrate for you!

Dinah I know what you mean about the whole living with your OH thing, but just wanted to say that, for what it's worth, OH and I lived together for 4 years before we got married a year ago and being married does feel totally different. Not sure why, as it's not that different in reality but it does still feel special (even a year on).

roomontheend

I wrote you this huge message but when a posted it failed - god my laptop is poop- but the long and short of it is do what feels right, only the two if you really know what that is. My OH and I lived togther before getting married and us it was the next step of showing commitment to each other in front of everyone we love.

Raychee

I've been stalking the thread again...

Dinah, I'm so happy that things are going the right way, but can thoroughly understand the apprehension.

My OH and I lived a minimum of 140 miles away from each other (and a maximum of 300) for 5 years before we took the plunge. It was only when it seriously seemed that he was being relocated to Canada that I gave up my job to be with him. (We didn't go in the end, but I'd already given in my notice!) I realised that I just didn't want to be apart from him anymore.

It was really tough for the first 8 months, we'd never spent more than 2 weeks in each other's company... he wanted to go out with friends, I wanted cosy evenings in. He wanted weekends away with friends, I wanted weekends doing lovely domestic things together! (Oh how times changed!) It wasn't until I got seriously ill that we totally gelled and understood each other.

7 years on... I thought we'd be married. He doesn't feel the same (though after 12 years together, I think I'm beating him down! ) I wonder whether we would be married if we hadn't moved in with each other, but for me, being together was more important. We've done serious illness, possible redundancy (twice), bought the house and now (as I've mentioned) adopting. Perhaps THEN we'll sort the marriage out!

Don't compromise your views, but do consider the options carefully.

I'll stop rambling now, and go and hide where I can stalk a bit longer!

Flower08

Oh i am so happy for you and OH dinah, that is fantastic news about the job!! I hope you both manage to come to a decision about where you will live. Wish i could offer some advice on that side of things, but have live with my OH for a year and personally would much rather that than both of us live seperatly in shared accomodation - which seems to be the opposite of what everyone else is saying lol.
I truely am very happy for you both
x