MSE Parent Club - Part 2

feelinggood_2

Had a feeling expressing wouldn't last. Feel like I should give up on the whole thing now, I'm such a complete failure I can't even bring myself to try and feed him as often as I should, he just fights and fights and nothing I try works. He gets so stressed and frustrated by it and ends up really crying. He even gets worked up when I try when he is sleepy or really relaxed and not hungry.

Sami_Bee

feelie - you could do a not scientific test to see if he has the feeding reflexes:
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Rooting Reflex: The rooting reflex is most evident when an infant's cheek is stroked. The baby responds by turning his or her head in the direction of the touch and opening their mouth for feeding
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Sucking Reflex: The sucking reflex is initiated when something touches the roof of an infants mouth. Infants have a strong sucking reflex which helps to ensure they can latch onto a bottle or breast. The sucking reflex is very strong in some infants and they may need to suck on a pacifier for comfort.[/FONT]

Dormouse

feelinggood wrote: »

I'm solely giving expressed milk in a bottle now and it isn't really helping my mental health.

*Hugs* You're doing the best you can hun, you should be proud of yourself. Some babies are just better feeders than others - it's not the mum's fault. :kisses3:

I'm sure you're getting loads of information but just in case you haven't seen this, it might help? http://www.kellymom.com/newman/26baby_refuses_to_latch.html

Sorry if you've already seen it, and sorry I don't have any useful advice. I feel so lucky both of mine took to BFing like fish to water.

Was your LO born at 36 weeks then? A friend of mine had a baby at 32 :eek: - he was fine but he never actually got the hang of sucking. My friend expressed for months (and deserved a medal for doing it :A - but it's not for everyone)

chocaholic110

feelinggood wrote: »

Had a feeling expressing wouldn't last. Feel like I should give up on the whole thing now, I'm such a complete failure I can't even bring myself to try and feed him as often as I should, he just fights and fights and nothing I try works. He gets so stressed and frustrated by it and ends up really crying. He even gets worked up when I try when he is sleepy or really relaxed and not hungry.

Sounds a lot like Tom. It used to seem as if he wanted to be on the breast and off the breast both at the same time. It was very frustrating and I could have given up a million times. Over a year later, and the problem was keeping him off, but even when he fed he never had long feeds. he was (is) very much a snacker.

Only you can decide what you should do and it depends how strongly you feel about it. Just don't let it spoil your first few weeks with baby; what feels like ages now will seem like the blink of an eye when you look back!

feelinggood_2

Dormouse wrote: »

Was your LO born at 36 weeks then? A friend of mine had a baby at 32 :eek: - he was fine but he never actually got the hang of sucking. My friend expressed for months (and deserved a medal for doing it :A - but it's not for everyone)

According to initial dating scan, I was 39+3 when I had him. Midwife wonders about that though, she said he seems much 'younger' than that. I don't have a date of last period to go off, just the one scan at a private clinic. He is also completely covered in fur

Thanks for sharing about your friend, that gives me hope. I can just about cope with not BFing if at least I can get breast milk into him one way. I'd feel so awful for formula feeding (totally irrationally and not a judgement on anyone who !!!!!!, its just one of my 'things').

Sami_Bee

feelinggood wrote: »

Had a feeling expressing wouldn't last. Feel like I should give up on the whole thing now, I'm such a complete failure I can't even bring myself to try and feed him as often as I should, he just fights and fights and nothing I try works. He gets so stressed and frustrated by it and ends up really crying. He even gets worked up when I try when he is sleepy or really relaxed and not hungry.

that sounds exactly how it was for Chris n I he would get so worked up that it was pointless me trying
You're not a failure honey you are fantastic for doing everything you can xxx

lwcus78

Feeling- was your LO born early?

Mine was born 34 weeks and didn't have sucking reflex straight away. He had a feeding tube to his stomach though so gave mixture of expressed breast milk and formula for first 3 days til my milk came in. He didn't latch on properly for nearly 10 days so I just kept going with the pump. But as I say he had a feeding tube and drip so I knew he was having plenty of fluids. I was told by hospital that sucking reflex develops in the 35 week of pregnancy. The nurse in SCBU told us if he wouldn't latch on soon we'd try him on a cup. Anyway, one he got going there was no stopping him!!
Hope you get things sorted soon.
xx

Krystaltips

Feelie, don't give up now out of frustration if it's not what you really want to do. There's no reason you can't continue to express for quite a few months, if you persevere with putting him to the breast as much as you feel able then you will get there eventually... It does get easier, I promise!

Triggles

feelie - sorry, no constructive advice for you really, but I know it can take awhile (and a lot of frustration sometimes) to get the hang of it. Hope you're doing okay. Please don't feel like a failure. Many people get the impression that BF'ing is easy - that because we're women it should just come naturally - that's just not necessarily true. I went through some struggles with it with my first baby - it nearly drove me mad, then finally it turned a corner and started getting a bit better. Remember, the lack of sleep and hormones play a part in the frustration and stress as well. Best of luck.

Sami_Bee

feelie this it a snippet from the babycentre fetal development for 37 weeks

Speaking of hair, most of the downy coat of lanugo that covered your baby from 26 weeks has disappeared, and so has most of the vernix caseosa, the whitish substance that also covers her. Your baby will swallow her lanugo and exterior coating, along with other secretions, and store them in her bowels. These will become your infant's first bowel movement, a blackish waste called meconium.

Although Chris was covered in fine hair at 2 weeks over (and still is) i put it down to his hairy Daddy tho