MSE Parent Club - Part 2

Savvy_Sue

I've got to share Mother's Day with DS3's 17th birthday! Although I'm thinking of adopting my nephew, he is taking his other aunty out for a meal for mother's day because he's at Uni near her and she's been very good to him. And he's doing something else impressive too.

SeptemberBaby wrote: »

Aww, Mel, DH might just surprise you. Maybe its just me that asks 'have you got me a card yet' about a dozen times the week before? :D. Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow.

I am more subtle: "Have you got your mother a card yet?" We had some mother's day cards at work, and someone suggested I should post one of the funny ones to DS1 (away at Uni) for him to send back to me. I was incensed! It is not MY job to organise Mother's Day! Any more than it is DH's job to make sure the boys remember Father's Day!

Anyway, I know DS1 has NOT bought me a card this year, nor has he bought DS3 a birthday card, because I asked him pretty please to send my mother a card for reasons which are too complicated to go into here. He emailed to say "I refused to spend £5+ at one time on small pieces of cardboard, so you and little brother were left out under the "if I only buy one card who is mum most likely to want it to be for?" criteria. :money: Of course you know and I know that you can get cards a lot cheaper than that, and that a home-made card would have cost pennies and warmed the cockles of my heart, but you have to admire the pragmatism!

I told him a phone call tomorrow afternoon would let him off, with possibly flowers or chocolates when he sees me.

But DH let slip that DS2 has sorted himself and DS3 out, so I shall not be entirely cardless. I bought myself some cheap roses in Tesco so I'm not flowerless either.

purplepatch

Bloody hell. Last year Izzy was really sick on mothers day. This year it's Olivia's turn. At quarter to 11 yesterday she threw up everywhere!!!! All over herself, her duvet, sheets, pillow, cuddly toys.... grim!! I'm just waiting for the second load of washing to stop so I can go to bed. Going to have to cancel my parents for lunch tomorrow, having bought loads of lovely food. Bloody nightmare.

Honestly, I gave her a bucket before she went to bed, left the light on low etc.

And now i think i can hear her crying again......... ohhhhhh dear, off to investigate.......

Becles

Poor Olivia - hope she is ok. Joshua woke up at 6am this morning being sick, and did the full dying swan act which woke everyone else up :rolleyes:

I agree with a rough routine. All my three have had the same night time routine and have slept through from a few weeks old. They've also tolerated light and noise when they've been asleep.

It's not a matter of getting your old life back. A Mam who has had a decent sleep and rest functions better than a Mam with little sleep. You do need to think of yourself to keep your general health in good condition as well as thinking about the baby.

My niece is 20 months old and still hasn't slept through the night. They have to sit in the dark for up to an hour nursing her off to sleep, then carefully slide her into the cot without waking her up. The slightest noise or sound will wake her, so once she's in bed they have to tiptoe to the toilet in the dark (the light pull click wakes her) and don't flush it, and they have to watch TV on the lowest volume possible so it doesn't wake her, etc. It would do my head in living like that, but each to their own.

chocaholic110

Got to apologise in advance for this post as I imagine it will probably upset a lot of people, which isn't my intention at all, but I can see it happening.

Sleeping and sleep routines - did exactly the same with all three of mine. DS1 slept through fairly quickly and easily and was no trouble at all which is just like him in every aspect of life. DD took a little longer but it was still fairly easy. Tom is still not blooming well sleeping through and has never been one to settle himself back without any interference from us - left to his own devices he would cry until he was sick (and it only takes a couple of minutes!). He's never awake long in the night - only a few minutes, long enough to know we're still there I think - but can sometimes wake three or four times. I think it's a good night when he only wakes twice!

I think even with a routine it can still depend on the baby. It's more disruptive to us to have to change vomit covered beds so I do respond quickly. My previous two babies would have whinged a bit then gone back off; Tom has never been one to do that. I haven't changed what I have done with each one but the baby has changed each time. If I'd only ever had one child I would think I was the perfect parent as DS1 has never been the slightest bit trouble as a baby, toddler, child or teenager. When I only had the two, I stil thought I was pretty good as a mother - DD was a little bit more mischevious but eventually turned out pretty well (once she reached about two and a half!). Tom is a completely different kettle of fish to the other two, with a much stronger will and more insistent. Athough he's lovely, dealing with him can often feel like a battle and this time around I sometimes feel inept.

In the nicest possible way, sometimes when people write on here, I do this, that and the other and my baby is always perfect (which may not be exactly what's written but that's sometimes how it sounds to people who may be struggling!) it can make me feel a bit rubbish, as if I'm getting it all wrong and you are all parenting much better than I am, and I have the benefit of being able to look at my older two children and thinking well, they turned out alright - they are pleasant, helpful, well behaved and both are doing brilliantly at school - so I'm sure in the long run we'll do ok with Tom too. My worry is that people who only have one child may read the advice on here and be made to feel carp as they do not have children who sleep through the night straight away, or even after several months or a year and they may think it's something they've done, whereas it may not be at all. I quite like, therefore, that krystal, and other do post quite reassuring posts about babies and their needs. We are not all the same, so why should we expect babies to be the same?

lwcus78

Aaaw, its so sad about Jade Goody. Her poor little boys, on mother's day of all days.

chocaholic110

lwcus78 wrote: »

Aaaw, its so sad about Jade Goody. Her poor little boys, on mother's day of all days.

I completely agree. That was the first thing I said to OH this morning. I'm pleased she was celebrating Mothers' Day early. I have never been a Jade fan at all, but it is still so sad at that she died at only 27, especially when she always seemed so full of life.

lwcus78

My LO is 5months and still wakes twice a night (sometimes 3x:eek: ) for a feed. I cant settle him back without a feed so he obviously needs it. I might be wrong here but I think that generally the babies that are more likey to wake up for feeds in the night are breastfed rather than bottle fed and they wake up because breast milk is digested quicker and therefore they get hungrier quicker? I know its not always the case as you can get some bf who sleep through and some ff that wakes up.
I would love if my LO slept through or even woke just once in the night. I dont feel as if I'm a bad parent because I've failed to put him in a rouitine. I agree with Choc everyone's baby is different.
I had to laugh at something a friend of mine said though.. cos my LO still gets up a few times a night she said "make the most of it, soon enough he'll be sleeping through and you wont get to hold him in the night". I thought it was a lovely way to look at it!

Me too, I never was a Jade fan but she loved her boys. Makes me sad to think of all the children out there today without mothers. I love my mammy so much. I'm gonna call her now and tell her.
xx

SeptemberBaby_2

PP, hope Olivia feels better soon xx

And Joshua too, Becles xx


Happy Mothers Day, ladies!! Hope you all have a wonderful day. This is my first with two babies and its just wonderful . We're going to my parents for lunch and I'm just off now to listen to my new Lionel Richie CD and eat some chocs!

xx

SeptemberBaby_2

lwcus78 wrote: »

Aaaw, its so sad about Jade Goody. Her poor little boys, on mother's day of all days.

Thats really, really sad isn't it? Bless her and those little boys.

xx

nadnad

lwcus78 wrote: »

My LO is 5months and still wakes twice a night (sometimes 3x:eek: ) for a feed. I cant settle him back without a feed so he obviously needs it. I might be wrong here but I think that generally the babies that are more likey to wake up for feeds in the night are breastfed rather than bottle fed and they wake up because breast milk is digested quicker and therefore they get hungrier quicker?

i agree with you - oz does have a bedtime routine - has done from very early on - but he still wakes at least once in the night for a (breast)feed, there have been times we've tried to get him to go back over without feeding him but he cries so hard its easier to feed him. Because of the routine we have he knows its night time and he knows thats time for sleep and thats really good, but he just doesnt manage to sleep all night. Another thing with us is that Oz goes down at 6.30 or so and sleeps usually til about 2am which is over 7 hours - a lot of people i know who say their baby is sleeping all night isnt putting baby down til 10pm or after so maybe thats something to do with it.

i only just read about jade goody and its terribly sad, actually brought a tear to my eye. i didnt think she would go that quickly, her poor little boys, I hope they will be well cared for and loved.