Am I over reacting???

Nicki

Paparika wrote: »

she did, or am i too tired to see the joke (sorry very long day had 12 MRI scans from 7.30 this morning

Not according to everything OP has posted! Friend gave OP a gift which someone else had given to friend but which friend opened in the presence of OP. At the time OP told friend that she had been given the same gift for her first child but never used it. So it wasn't a gift which OP had given the friend which came back, just something which OP knew hadn't been bought brand new by the friend.

Savvy_Sue

GracieP wrote: »

It could be worse. She could have given you the pressie which you gave to her.;)

It could be worse: someone gave my friend a gift set of pregnancy toiletries from Boots last Christmas.

My friend is sixty, single, and unlikely to conceive. :rotfl:

She passed it on to me, knowing I had a pregnant colleague. I'm sure she hasn't held it against the donor, although she may discourage gift giving this year!

girleight@

She might just be a bit slack rather than tight. I mean technically you have a year to plan everyone's birthday gifts but I often end up getting them at the last minute. It sounds like she feels bad about it. It's often true that "things come out in the wash". She might end up making it up to you one day when you least expect it.

Congratulations!

melancholly

it's odd - if you make a present (because it's cheaper) it's thoughtful, but if you recycle, suddenly it's a bad thing?!

i certainly don't think it's fair to say they had 9 months to think of a present - it may be dificult to believe, but everyone does have their own lives and someone else's baby, although wonderful, isn't quite at the centre. i would also never buy something until after the birth - if something bad happens, or if the baby stays in an incubator or something like that, you want to get an appropriate gift. it also gets very expensive when there's a stage when everyone has babies. in the same way as brides can be over weddings, i think some perspective is needed over how desperately important this is to other people, particularly those with their own young children who probably haven't had a good night's sleep in a year!

after seeing some great other posts on MSE i now have a 'present drawer' (well it's not a drawer but that's not the point!), where i pick up things in sales or on offer so that there's always something there to give when i need to. it makes christmas less stressful for a start! money is always tight for me - but i budget. i would hope that no friend of mine would judge me over the value of a gift...... that's a real real shame.

LGDNUFC

melancholly wrote: »

it's odd - if you make a present (because it's cheaper) it's thoughtful, but if you recycle, suddenly it's a bad thing?!

i certainly don't think it's fair to say they had 9 months to think of a present - it may be dificult to believe, but everyone does have their own lives and someone else's baby, although wonderful, isn't quite at the centre. i would also never buy something until after the birth - if something bad happens, or if the baby stays in an incubator or something like that, you want to get an appropriate gift. it also gets very expensive when there's a stage when everyone has babies. in the same way as brides can be over weddings, i think some perspective is needed over how desperately important this is to other people, particularly those with their own young children who probably haven't had a good night's sleep in a year!

after seeing some great other posts on MSE i now have a 'present drawer' (well it's not a drawer but that's not the point!), where i pick up things in sales or on offer so that there's always something there to give when i need to. it makes christmas less stressful for a start! money is always tight for me - but i budget. i would hope that no friend of mine would judge me over the value of a gift...... that's a real real shame.

Im not judging my friend on the value of the gift, I just dont like being deceived,as she texted me to say when I was about 30 weeks pregnant she had already bought something for my baby!

melancholly

LGDNUFC wrote: »

Im not judging my friend on the value of the gift, I just dont like being deceived,as she texted me to say when I was about 30 weeks pregnant she had already bought something for my baby!

a 'deception' over a gift for a baby..... i think you must be very up and down at the moment after recently giving birth, so i'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt - but please, get some perspective - read some of the other threads on this board.... a recycled gift is nothing to be upset over and it seems petty and pointless to a lot of other pople. maybe the gift is all about her situation - it really doesn't all have to be about you and what you would do and what you want....

dinkytwostep

:j Hi LGDNUFC

Do you know if it's definitely the same outfit? I ask 'cos it's entirely possible your friend had used the one you saw... LIKED it.. and thought it would be perfect for your baby too. :rolleyes:

I know you said that you already had one but it's possible she's misheard you.

It could be that when she texted you she had gone to get you one while it was still available in the shop.

DTS

pinkshoes

I would say you are 100% over-reacting, because your friend actually came round to give you the gift, and time with someone is far more valuable than money. You should never buy someone a gift if you expect them to buy something of equal value in return. With the rising price of food, petrol, gas and electricity, perhaps she's struggling at the moment?

How old is her baby? She obviously hung onto this item thinking that someone else might get some use out of it. And because she's already had a baby, she'll know that you get over-loaded with clothes that they grow out of within a few weeks, and get wasted and/or never worn!

I hope to have a baby one day, and I would be thrilled if my aunty turned up with some baby clothes that belonged to my cousins (who are now 4), rather than buying something new.

Lunar_Eclipse

LGDNUFC wrote: »

Do you tell the person who is receiving the gift that it is a recycled or unwanted gift??

No of course not! Don't be daft. That would send messages of ungratefulness & highlight differences in taste etc. It's not necessarily about money.

Personally, I think it's simply unspoken, like a lot of things most people do on a daily basis. By the same token, people don't openly volunteer the specifics about how many times it took to get pregnant, which position was the successful one etc? :rotfl: