Am I over reacting???

duchy

Yes you're over-reacting.
Chances are if her brain was anything like mine after having a baby-it was mush at the time you gave her the gift and she probably remembers that you gave her an expensive gift but not exactly what it was. With everything that is going on when you first have a baby it can all be a bit of a blur. So remembering you gave her something expensive.....and been skint herself she casts her eye around-and sees super expensive gif t*someone* gave her......and thinks.."Hmmm that's just lgdnufc's taste-she'd love that" (which it probably is and you would as you chose it) not for a moment remembering YOU gave it to her.EDIT or maybe you were just there when she got it I'm a bit confused on that point.
I think you're just miffed that she didn't remember you gave her a nice gift-but as you say yourself it's the thought that counts. The fact she didn't pay for it *should* be irrelevent. I'm assuming this gift was a one of a kind type thing and it isn't at all possible that she just loved it so bought you one too. I have a friend who buys everyone the exact same baby gift (from Harrods no less so it isn't stinginess) simply because she thinks it's a great gift.
Don't fall out with her until your hormones have settled back down-and you have had time to think about the friendship and if it's worth losing over this.

liney

I'd rather pass along items i have been given that i won't use as long as they are nice. People get given huge amounts of clothes for their babies, and often find outfits are too small by the time they get around to wearing them.

The fact you 'spent a small fortune' on her baby really isn't relavant. She gave you an outfit for your baby as a gift, end of. You say there was no thought in the gift, but if she's thinking "I'll go and get MrsX a cute outfit for the new baby" It makes no sense to buy one if there's a band new cute baby outfit in a drawer upstairs does it?

Reduce, re-use, recycle - especially new items which would sit in a cupboard otherwise.

vaio

I think I’ve found another of these Mars/Venus things with all the wrong season/last years range posts

Season I can maybe understand (although less so now our weather seems to be non-stop rainy autumn all year round) these days but last years range? For a baby?

*Louise*

vaio wrote: »

Season I can maybe understand (although less so now our weather seems to be non-stop rainy autumn all year round) these days but last years range? For a baby?

The range matters because the shop won't exchange or give credit if they no longer stock the item.

cupid_s

Did you comment on the item at the time?
Sometimes I've opened presents and friends have said 'oh that's absolutely gorgeous' etc etc and then I've gone and bought them one because at least I know they'll like it. I'd hate for them to think I'd just given them my old present when in actual fact a lot of effort had gone into finding the exact same item for them.
I wouldn't assume it's a recycled present or let that affect what you think of her or affect future present buying.
Even if she did recycle the present, you obviously could afford the small fortune you spent on her child, maybe she can't afford to do the same but it doesn't make her any less of a friend.

January20

You are over-reacting.

You should be grateful you got a gift for your child.

Are you sure it's the exact same item, not an identical one?

These times are difficult. She could have big money problems that you don't know about and she might not want to talk about. Tackling her about the gift could mean her - and you - ending up very embarrassed.

In my book, there is nothing wrong with re-gifting ie recycling a present that is unused. It's better than it being thrown away and wasted.

LGDNUFC

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think that you were the one who was in the wrong by spending so much money on a friend's child.

How was I in the wrong?

LGDNUFC

cupid_s wrote: »

Did you comment on the item at the time?
Sometimes I've opened presents and friends have said 'oh that's absolutely gorgeous' etc etc and then I've gone and bought them one because at least I know they'll like it. I'd hate for them to think I'd just given them my old present when in actual fact a lot of effort had gone into finding the exact same item for them.
I wouldn't assume it's a recycled present or let that affect what you think of her or affect future present buying.
Even if she did recycle the present, you obviously could afford the small fortune you spent on her child, maybe she can't afford to do the same but it doesn't make her any less of a friend.

Yes, I commented on the item when she received it,I said I had one for my 1st child and never used it. I only said this as she commented that it would be too small by the time it was the right season to use it. So she wasnt even happy with it......

LGDNUFC

Id just like to say a big thank you to everyone who has replied with their advice ( some being abit harsher than others) but as they say everyone has their opinions, I have read them all and taken on board everything that has been said...
Hormones are probably playing a big part of me reacting like this.As for my friend having money worries, I know this isnt the case.As for reusing, recycling etc I am a huge supporter of it and regularly do it myself, but I dont think I would give an item as a gift in case a situation like this came about, I tend to give to charities or ebay items...

Debt_Free_Chick

Over very many years I've learned not to rate "friends" according to the gifts they give. And not to have my friends rate me according to the gifts I give

Consequently, I stopped giving gifts many years ago and politely ask friends not to buy me anything either.