Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:

Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
Me again! If only I'd seen this sooner!

A Few Rules To Live By ....

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just !!!!!! off and leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Hope this raised a smile or two.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
I can do this all day, y'know!

Right - that's it - I'm orff. Got an important [strike]catnap[/strike], erm, meeting to attend to.
Hopefully I'll be back later peeps with some sane posting...well we can but hope, can't we?!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

absolutebounder

shazrobo wrote: »

had a fab day out at the coast with the kids. treated them to dinner out and also tea, bought them ice cream etc, totally spoiled them, and they been good.
soon as i get home they start argueing and shoutimg over silly things, tired from driving i'm ashamed to say i got angry and shouted back, sick of being a slave to tweo ungrateful teenagers, fed up of doing all work, am close to tears, and feel like getting drunk tionight
why is life so hard, even wen you think its going well, somet always comes and upsets everything
best go, cos i can feel the tears coming
hugs all
shaz xxx

You lot have had enough funnies today from tiff so I will put the serious hat on
Shaz I think sometimes you are too kind and make a rod for your own back. Most people love their kids and want to do as much as possible for them but kindness has to be earned and it looks to me like they take your kindness for granted.
Good behaviour should be rewarded when it is spontaneous (ie no reason behind it) but you should not feel guilty about getting angry and shouting at them. Personally I wouldnt feel guilty about belting the crap out of them but the do gooders at the EU dont seem impressed with that idea.
When the kids behave badly they have to know it is wrong. If for instance they mis behave on the way to a day out turn round and take them home, however if they are good at home tell them you are happy and reward them.
This may sound easy and brutally obvious but it is not and as kids brains work faster than adults all too often I see parents actually rewarding bad behaviour.
Hows the sleepy thing going. I am rather concerned for LM as she was the one who asked for it in the first place but hasnt got back to me to get it downloaded

Jo_R_2

Hi all

Not been on here much the last couple of weeks - looks like I have a lot to catch up on!

Round my way, OH has finally moved in. It's been great so far, all going well! DDs love having him around, so all good!

I have a rotten cold which has made me feel like death for the last couple of days. I had similar symptoms when pregnant with DD2 and I ended up being shipped off to hospital with flu and dehydration so was a bit worried there, but am fairly sure it's just a cold and no more - however going by last time if I'm not stuck in bed unable to stand up by tomorrow it's deffo not flu!

And what I'm thinking about at the mo... Not long been back from seeing the doctor. I have been doing a DLA application for my depression, and I thought I would have a fairly good case for low-rate care at the least. However, I saw the psychiatrist for the first time at the end of July, and my GP showed me a copy of the letter he sent to him following my appointment, where it says I am "showing no signs of depression." My GP is very nice and basically said he was concerned about what to write on my form as he would have to disclose everything and he didn't want to do anything to hinder my chances.

Part of the trouble I have is that my depression goes in cycles, and it does happen that when I get round to seeing someone about it, I can appear 'fine.' When I saw the psychiatrist, I was feeling 'not bad', able to talk and think okay, express myself, not tearful or anything else at all which can be a sign of me being in a phase of depression. I actually feel really good at the moment, and have done for weeks, so in some ways I almost feel a bit of a fraud saying I have depression. However I am very aware that this can change at any time and for months on end But of course I can totally understand it - how can the psychiatrist say I'm depressed if I appear okay?

The date for me to return my form is tomorrow so I think I'm gonna sack it off for now and see how things go up to my next appointment mid-October. If he says the same thing, then, hey, what can I do?

shazrobo

absolutebounder wrote: »

You lot have had enough funnies today from tiff so I will put the serious hat on
Shaz I think sometimes you are too kind and make a rod for your own back. Most people love their kids and want to do as much as possible for them but kindness has to be earned and it looks to me like they take your kindness for granted.
Good behaviour should be rewarded when it is spontaneous (ie no reason behind it) but you should not feel guilty about getting angry and shouting at them. Personally I wouldnt feel guilty about belting the crap out of them but the do gooders at the EU dont seem impressed with that idea.
When the kids behave badly they have to know it is wrong. If for instance they mis behave on the way to a day out turn round and take them home, however if they are good at home tell them you are happy and reward them.
This may sound easy and brutally obvious but it is not and as kids brains work faster than adults all too often I see parents actually rewarding bad behaviour.
Hows the sleepy thing going. I am rather concerned for LM as she was the one who asked for it in the first place but hasnt got back to me to get it downloaded

hi ab, the kida had behaved very well all day, and as such i told them how pleased i was, and treated them. it was when we got home the problem started, i only asked them to get their coats out of the car and put them away, they are so used to just leaveing stuff to me, and i sick of it, and properly overreacted.
haven't seen anni on msn for a while either, anni if you there, give us a wave, so we know your ok, worried about you hun.
the sleepy thing was working well for a couple of nights, but as i get nearer to tues for my first counselling appointment, am finding sleep difficult again, and all sorts going through my head, ending up with night mares, and as it is mainly stop smoking, and mentions it a lot it is starting to make me think about smoking again lol, so gave it a miss last night
hugs
shaz x

beachbeth

Hope you don't mind me joining in with this thread. Ive suffered from depression since about 1994. Finally in 2000 I left work because I just couldn't do it any more. Im much better off at home, although I still have bad days. Im having one today. Why? Because the guinea pig has died! I feel so silly. Im 42 and Im upset about a guinea pig! I think its because I know my daughter (who's 21 and animal mad) will be upset and she's at uni at the moment. Its also the whole death thing that I can't deal with (I don't know what I will be like when its one of my parents!).

I read a few posts on this thread and can identify with things people have said. I know what its like to have a nice day spoilt by bickering kids, Shazrobo. When you think of all you have done for them and they won't do one little thing without arguing! Just remember though, its completely normal behaviour for children.

I also know what you mean about being a fraud, Jo_R. When Im having my good days and feel happy and in control I feel as though if anyone was to see me they wouldn't believe I suffer from depression. However, I know that black cloud is just waiting and will reappear at some point again.

feelinggood_2

((Hugs)) Beachbeth.

Sorry about your Guinea Pig. Don't feel silly, its hard to lose a pet, even little ones. I hope your Daughter will be okay.

I was devestated when my Hamster died a few months ago. I found talking about it help - I was surprised at the amount of people who understood the pain of losing a little fluffy thing.

Welcome to the thread.

absolutebounder

shazrobo wrote: »

haven't seen anni on msn for a while either, anni if you there, give us a wave, so we know your ok, worried about you hun.
the sleepy thing was working well for a couple of nights, but as i get nearer to tues for my first counselling appointment, am finding sleep difficult again, and all sorts going through my head, ending up with night mares, and as it is mainly stop smoking, and mentions it a lot it is starting to make me think about smoking again lol, so gave it a miss last night
hugs
shaz x

Yes forgot to say you shouldnt get too reliant on sleepy thing but as your body gets used to sleep again it should happen naturally.
I can understand fear of counselling but you shouldnt worry. At theb end of the day they are just another human who is in their own way trying to help. i am not sure how good it is but like everything else there is good and bad however it is not worth creating a load of worries that may never materialise.
i think a good counsellor gets you to believe that you have thought up your own solutions and the best way to do that IMHO is to gently challenge some of your thoughts with " what would(nt) happen if you did" type questions. You can see the type of thing a few pages back when SF said she was huge and disgusting.
the point is people make suppositions that are not true ie huge is disgusting. and by getting people to realise that what they believe can have alternatives they can be helped because in essence depression is a set of stacked up false realities but they are not false to the person concerned. It is much easier though face to face.
Dont fear counselling as it may just help al lot. From what I see you write I would guess that stress rather than depression is the problem so you ought to get it easy on the counselling front but in any case let us know how it goes

beachbeth

Thanks for that, feelinggood. She was a very sweet guinea pig and I loved giving her celery and watching her chomp away. She was over 5 years old which is quite old for a guineapig but I do hate to see them go!

Some non-animal people don't understand. I remember when I was at work a colleague took a couple of days off out of her holiday because she was so upset about her dog dying. Her husband had bought it her as a puppy when she had a miscarriage and she loved it to bits. She couldn't come in to work when it died and I was appalled to see people sniggering that she had had to have time off "just for a dog". We get so attached to these little furries and its horrible when they pass on.

Its worse for me because any death really upsets me - I cry buckets when anyone dies in films, animal or human! Is there any way of dealing with death so that I don't get so upset? How do people go to funerals without crying? I could go to one of a complete stranger and would still get upset.