Depression Support Thread

shazza40

bb you are NOT stupid. i was told we have to be educated to be depressed those that arent arent supposed to know the difference. dont shout me down in flames a physche nurse told me.

Everyone has a bad day/ week etc. Why do you think you are? sometimes others try to make as feel inadequate just to make themselves feel better.
because we feel the way we do if you are told often enuff or even once we start to believe. Your not alone others feel the same.

I feel weak because i believe if i was stronger i wouldnt have got ill in the first place.

hugs

shazza

absolutebounder

budget_budd wrote: »

I REALLY DO HATE MYSELF

Why? You are the one person who can make the changes you need to like yourself

and Im damn sure that everyone else feels the same.

Most people dont even know you so if they hate you without knowing you the problem is with them

I noticed that someone (sorry can't find now to quote) said I was wrong to try (apologies if I've read it wrong) but I don't understand.

That was me. If you try something you are considdering you may fail. There is the law of reversed effect which is the harder you try to do something the more you fail

WHY am I the only one to feel like this.

Because all feelings are personal

Worst of all the anxiety which was going is creeping back

I AM SO STUPID

As shazrobbo said if you controlled anxiety before use the same tactics again. Why is anxiety creeping back anyway?

LadyMorticia

Heya CCstar. I wondered where you had been. I haven't been around much myself. *hugs*. Good to see you back.

Welcome to the thread beachbeth. :wave:

So, just dropping in to let you all know that I am still around, just not in a good place at all at the moment. But I am still here, and I do read everyone's posts, but sometimes I don't know if I can contribute or help in any way but everyone here is always in my thoughts.

BB - You are NOT stupid, darling. *hugs*

xx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
Hoping we're all well this morning? I'm sad to report it's been raining here. There again, I had been planning to go out today so that probably explains it.

I'd just like to say welcome back to a few peeps.

Hi there beth(beachbeth) - your name sounded familiar to me angel and I looked back through the Tifflings Inventory - otherwise known as Roll Call! - and I found your name. You posted briefly a long time ago - although we've had a lot of new thread homes since then and I'm sorry I can't remember what it was about hunnie. Tiffy's getting to be an old bagpuss now. I'm sorry about your guinea pig, hun. Our furry friends can bring us great comfort simply by being there with us. We don't realise how much we depend on their company sometimes. Just having something that needs us or having another living soul in an otherwise empty house, can help us through hard times and they don't judge us. As with any kind of loss of life sweetheart, I know it's hard - nobody wants to say farewell to people or animals whom we love so much. It's completely natural to be so upset. For what it's worth, I bet he was a very happy and lovingly spoiled guinea pig. I'll try and post more to you later angel.

Hi there ccstar - I saw your post from yesterday and of course you're welcome. You're not ignored here dear - I myself posted a good luck message for your move and have given you shout outs. Please don't judge others so harshly hunnie - you've been through yet another house move in such a short space of time, on top of other problems, and you're bound to be over-stressed. Add to that your cold, which makes anyone feel miserable, and I can see why you'd be feeling under par and in need of a good rant. Remember, people are people and no-one's perfect but it doesn't mean they're 'bad'. It's also been a strange posting pattern this 'summer' hunnie, some days there's been only one or two posts and other days have occupied 2 pages. As you say, the change of the seasons affect people and I'm sure we will see the post count here increase as always with the advent of winter. So as far as I'm concerned ccstar, it's nothing personal against you.;) How long have you been in your new home now? I hope things settle down for you soon there hun. Feel better soon.

Hi there lm - it's good to hear from you hun. Thanks for dropping in and updating us. I understand things are hard for you right now hunnie but hang in there, ok? Our feelings and health and situations shift and sometimes we need to take some time out for ourselves, anni. There's nothing wrong with that angel. And you don't have to 'contribute' or solve everyone's problems sweetie - that's not what this thread's only here for. You post whenever you feel you can sweetheart and please don't suffer in silence as it were. We're here for you too. Just take everything in small steps right now hun while you're in a low spot and be kind to yourself. Don't overstretch yourself. It's good to know you are reading hun - keep us posted.

Hi there fg - it's good to hear from you too. You've been quiet recently hun. I agreed with your post to beth and I'm sure she appreciated it. I hope all is well with you and yours and that things are going well for you. As I've said to the other peeps - you know where we are. Look after yourself fg.

Good luck with counselling tonight sazzy hun!

Where are you bmf? Pop in and bring us up-to-date.

Actually, yesterday was a very interesting day to me post-wise. I want to answer them all at once - and you lot don't make it any easier by not being psychic! So as it's nearly time for my annual catnip salary review,, I'd better get on with some posting.
Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

LadyMorticia

Morning evreryone. :wave:

Thanks Tiff. You know me.lol. I always like to be there to help and solve everyone's problems. I'm the agony aunt of my friends. Phone is on 24/7 usually etc and I feel so bad when I can't help anyone.

Anyway, I am exhausted and I would love a cuppa right about now but I've ran out of milk and I'm too tired and anxious to go to the shop to get any. A nice cuppa would solve that. Ah, cycles eh? lol.

Gemzy's coming down in just over three weeks to "look after me" as she so kindly put it. Only for a few days though. I'm nervous, but excited too. I'm trying to hold on to the little things to see me through. =/

Anyway, I hope you're all okay. *hugs*
xx

absolutebounder

shazrobo wrote: »

yes i would like the audio files, willing to try anything that helps
thanks
shaz x

I cant get my hands on the audios at the moment but if I write a few tips here others can use them if they wish but I will relate much to your situation
1) In many situations there are often 2 reasons why a person does something. The stated or visible reason and the real or unconcious reason. In other words what you are told is hiding another message or feeling. Read these threads and you will see hundreds. You have split up with exBF yet he emails nasty stuff to you. Would he do this if he was happily in bed with another stunner bonking his brains out? No of course not. Put bluntly he either cant accept that he can no longer control someone or he has no one to [EMAIL="sh@g"]sh@g[/EMAIL]. He may be hard on the outside but inwardly he has low self esteem which he trys to boost by picking on someone he thinks has a lower self esteem who he can bully. Best tactic for these guys is to ignore the emails and carry on with building yourself up. maybe you can point out that your life has moved on from having 3 kids to look after.
2) Power tactic. This is so simple but great too especially if you are at work. Basically it is just asking people to do something tthey probably would have done any way eg say to someone as they go out the room "close the door after you" or "put the kettle on while you are out there" in work situiations you might say "pull up a chair" just as the manager was about to sit down and talk to you. Or maybe "pass me that pen" (which you have deliberately put just out of your reach).
What this does is get people conditioned to carrying out your commands and after a short while you will be surprised what you can ask people to do and they will obey without question. always thank them when they do what you ask.

Tiff_2

Hi shaz!:hello:
Hey hun - how are you this morning?
You've been strongly on my mind angel because I know you're anxious about your counselling starting today. Trust Aunty Tiff angel - it'll be all right. You've recognized that counselling might be of help to you and you're prepared to try anything to help yourself. That's all that's important sweetheart. You've waited for it to be your turn and they wouldn't have considered you if they didn't think it might help. These are all positive and brave things hunnie.

Now before I'm bombarded with cabbages from the peanut gallery,, I'll explain why I've said these things and hopefully, maybe give you a few helpful tips too. I don't like to make blanket statements because we are all individuals in varying circumstances but, as they say, it never hurts to give something a try. Counselling works better for some people and not for others.

- I know you're fretting over your appointment hun, but try not to go with any pre-conceived ideas on it. You'll make yourself even more agitated.

- This is your time and anything you say, will be competely confidential. They're there to help you hun.

- There are different kinds of counselling and different kinds of counsellors. Are you seeing a psychologist or a counsellor from your gp's practice? If one kind of counselling/counsellor/psychologist doesn't work for you, you can ask your gp to refer you on to someone else.

- Counselling is very hard work. There are no short cuts or quick fixes. You have to be prepared to persevere; at first, you may not see what good it is doing, but you need to stay with it.

- A counsellor can only help you with what you tell them about, so it's important to be as open as possible to get the most benefit from it. However, if you feel really uncomfortable talking about a particular issue at first hunnie, there's nothing wrong with saying that you feel it's too upsetting to talk about that subject right now and can we go back to it another time.

- The counsellor won't take you a place emotionally speaking, that they can't help you back from in your sessions. For example, they won't ask about the death of a loved one 5 minutes before the end of a session.

- Counselling can help you let out powerful emotions and discuss difficult issues and hopefully the counsellor will guide you through it carefully and slowly, you will hopefully learn various perspectives of looking at things and methods to help you cope with your issues.

- Many counsellors are survivors themselves and have gone on to train to do this in order to help others.

- Trust is very important angel. You'll be sharing many things with your counsellor and you will build this trust in them over time.

- They are not going to do anything to hurt you, hunnie.

- Please don't be tempted to cancel a session unless unavoidable - continuity is important.

- Don't feel that it's a waste of time after one or two sessions - that's not long enough to base a decision on it. It's very much a step at a time.



In my humble opinion shaz, and I'm not a professional, here's what I feel will probably happen today and some suggestions...

- It's something new, so you're bound to be nervous.

- The counsellor will do all they can to make you feel at ease. They are not there to interrogate you - they want to help you.

- The first couple of sessions are usually spent getting to know you and maybe filling out a couple of questionnaires and identifying your main issues.

- You'll probably feel anxious about not knowing what to say to them. Again, be honest. Don't worry hun, they will guide you through it and you'll probably end up talking non-stop within a couple of sessions. You'll surprise yourself.

- Don't be afraid to ask questions hun - this is just the same as asking questions about any physical health problems you could have.

- Whenever we talk to anyone about our problems and issues, especially for the first time, it is always hard. So angel, be prepared - I'd advise you to take loads of tissues 'cos there may be tears, a bottle of water for a dry mouth and to help to distract you from being anxious while you're waiting and an emergency make-up kit if you don't have waterproof mascara.

- I always found it helpful to take a couple of headache tablets before going to counselling, as 9 times out of 10, I'd have a throbbing headache afterwards from all the crying I did in the session.

- Don't be surprised that if at the end of your session, you find it hard to remember everything that was discussed. This is completely natural when talking over our emotional experiences. You can always ask the counsellor to remind you next time.

- You might feel extremely tired after your session - again, this is natural hunnie.

- Before you go, put a teabag/coffee/sugar and a spoon in a cup and fill the kettle ready for when you get home. You will appreciate having something warm to drink and it can help relax you.

- If possible, give yourself a little treat afterwards as a reward - bar of choccie, bubblebath, new cd, whatever.

All the above is based purely on my experiences, and on those of other people I know who have been through counselling. You've got nothing to lose sweetheart. ...And after all, we can always blame sazzy for everything!:D

And if it's any comfort, I think it's fantastic that, even though you've been so worried about this counselling today, you're still helping and encouraging others here.
I hope something here helps you today hunnie and that I'm not too late - I'm so very proud of you for trying this!
Safe journeys hun - I'll be thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
Here's a little more philosophy that appealed to my very sad sense of humour!

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

Life is sexually transmitted.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

It's okay, don't worry guys - it's my medication time! I'll be all right...well, as good as it gets anyway!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

beachbeth

Your kind words almost had me in tears, Tiff. Thanks to you and everyone else for being so understanding.

CCStar, I know what you mean about feeling ignored. I have posted on threads sometimes and had no one reply to what Ive said and it can make you feel as though you're being left out. However, I realise that it isn't done on purpose and sometimes people just don't have anything to say. Sometimes people are just busy talking about other things and they don't ignore you to be nasty. So please don't feel bad if it happens.

Good luck with your councelling, Shaz. Im sure you will find it helpful.

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
Before I forget...

Now then, what was I about to do?
Much Love,
Tiff xxx