Depression Support Thread

alba37

Night night everyone, remember the clocks go back!

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Morning pumpkins! I hope everyone is feeling well this morning. Me? I'm feeling kinda ..... fractious!

DS was due home yesterday and instead he phones me to say that he's been sick a few times and he wasn't well enough to travel.
Ever suspicious of Uni students,, I asked him as I was sharpening my claws, about the previous night's activities. But no, he'd not been out and had not been drinking. I was really disappointed he wasn't coming and worried about him being ill but he said he would be ok and he was going back to bed.

I was then even more delighted to hear from him at 8pm, saying there was no food in the hosted lodgings he was at, not even bread, and he only had his train fare and couldn't remember his PIN! Would you believe that we - that means I! - then spent 2 hours trying to order Domino's delivery for him in London, from online at home here, on his Mastercard with him in London, which is registered here at home, and then guiding him through registering his card online on his laptop in London, while simoultaneously spending my time and money on the phone and online in negotiations with National Express, buying him a new ticket for today (as he was sure he'd be feeling better), and also making sure that he would remember to put his clock and watch back an hour too!

As a result, I am expecting him to be on the ham and pepperoni express with garlic bread today arriving at 2pm! It's just a shame they couldn't deliver him in under 30 minutes! I'm tellin' you - he'll either be on that bus or under it!(God forbid!)
And this is the future generation of our society?!

Well, I have to go for now, peeps. Be kind to yourselves guys and safe journeys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Arne_2

I dont know what to say except I am thinking of you and I am sure there will be others who normally post here who will do the same when they read your post. Try to keep calm, breath and let your mind empty even if it is only for a second. that is what I try to do when things get too much for me, I dont know if it really helps.

shazrobo

thanks arne for replying.
trying to stay calm, but am dreading him coming back into the house, i dont feel safe with him, in the moods he gets into lately, feel for my safety as well as my sanity
shaz x

absolutebounder

shazrobo wrote: »

thanks arne for replying.
trying to stay calm, but am dreading him coming back into the house, i dont feel safe with him, in the moods he gets into lately, feel for my safety as well as my sanity
shaz x

I feel for you as I know how much you have put in to looking after your kids but I think you have to involve the police. Not just for your sake but if he threatens someone with a knife he may just pick on the wrong person and get knifed himself.

shazrobo

absolutebounder wrote: »

I feel for you as I know how much you have put in to looking after your kids but I think you have to involve the police. Not just for your sake but if he threatens someone with a knife he may just pick on the wrong person and get knifed himself.

police have been involved in past, when daniel is in one of his moods, nothing they say has any effect on him, he has been arrested a number of times.
am seriously thinking of increasing his medication again, as that is the only thing that seems to work. his pychiatrist will be able to confirm if this is a good idea when i ring his clinic tommorrow afternoon, just need to get through today, he still hasnt come home yet, have no idea where he is
shaz

absolutebounder

As usual tiff writes a lot of sense here and I agree with much of what she says. There does however seem to be much play amongst posters on others being judgemental.

Tiff wrote: »

Just as there are many forms of mental ill health, there are many approaches to treatment. There is no universal panacea. It's not like having a broken limb for example, where there is a definite procedure to follow. We are individuals and we are all affected differently by mental illnesses.

Precisely and what happens is that the individuals brain makes the depression specific to that person. to say that a person wont listen because someone else hasnt experienced depression is a complete red herring and defense mechanism because no one has experienced your depressiion not even your doctor. Your own brain makes the chemicals to suit the resulting imballance and every one is different. Some people are not depressed because no matter how much crap is in their lives they literally dont let it depress them because they know the signs and know how to deal with it.

If this weren't true, there wouldn't be any psychologists or psychiatrists or any mental health professionals. So what might work for one, may not be helpful to another. The only people who can decide this accurately, are the medical professionals who know us, our issues and our medical history. Always ask their advice before making any changes.

Im not sure I agree here since doctors know generic depression but not your own personal version which means they often have several goes before making progress

For those who feel upset over someone's post, step away for a while, calm down and have a think with a cuppa. Then re-read the post a bit later and see how you feel about it then.

Great advice


We must also remember that misunderstandings are very common on t'internet in general. There are many opinions on this thread from a variety of people all over the place, and as in life generally, there'll come the point where we don't agree with someone. People shouldn't feel bullied on this precious thread and no-one is better than anyone else here. In my experience of this thread, there are always more people for you here, than against you.

I cant say Ive seen any bullying. just because someone disagrees and has a different point of view doesnt mean they are bullying. it isnt really that easy to bully someone you dont know.

Tiff xxx

Whenever someone posts here they do it presumably because they hope someone will read it. The person reading it will observe and judge so we are all judging each other. Whether we ignore or respond is neither here nor there judgements are being made. But here we see one of depressions great defense mechanisms and it is not judgement the ego fears but criticism. Criticism can be constructive and destructive. Destructive criticism is not good full stop. Constructive criticism however often doesnt work because it is not what the depression wants to hear. Remember you may want to get better but your depression doesnt and as long as you let it defend itself the status quo will remain and you will maske all sorts of false excuses but never get out of the vicious circle.

goodlife

Hello again everyone

Well he texted me a few times during the night. FIrst to say that I was to bag up all his things and we agreed some money I would give him and then that would be it. Later on in the night he started begging to come home to sleep as he couldn't find anywhere to go he then promised he would go this morning. I refused though so goodness knows where he went. His belongings are in 5 bin bags as requested in the garage for him to pick up. Need to get some cash out of cashpoint for him today then a bit more tomorrow and then that is that. Can't believe it. Really thought i was on my road to recovery but feel really flat and sick now. I don't think I will ever recover and feel normal again.

shazrobo

goodlife wrote: »

Hello again everyone

Well he texted me a few times during the night. FIrst to say that I was to bag up all his things and we agreed some money I would give him and then that would be it. Later on in the night he started begging to come home to sleep as he couldn't find anywhere to go he then promised he would go this morning. I refused though so goodness knows where he went. His belongings are in 5 bin bags as requested in the garage for him to pick up. Need to get some cash out of cashpoint for him today then a bit more tomorrow and then that is that. Can't believe it. Really thought i was on my road to recovery but feel really flat and sick now. I don't think I will ever recover and feel normal again.

hi goodlife, its natural to feel the way you do right now, but you will feel better soon, believe me, i was in the same boat earlier this year when i split up with my ex, but i realised how much better my life was without him in it.
big hugs
shaz xxx

goodlife

Thanks Shaz xxx

I know i will be better in the long run. It just all seems so sad. 6 months ago our lives were perfect. We were happily married dd was at a really good school (can't afford fees now) we had just moved in to our dream house (ditto mortgage) now he has gone, i'm ill and can't see an end to it. My sick pay runs out in 2 months. Then the fun will really start lol