ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

copperjar

Just checking in to say I still haven't had a bet since my first post on here a couple of days before New Year. Apart from one day where I was very tempted to have a bet, I've been okay. Found that I have more time for my friends - not making excuses to get away so I can log on to the computer or getting frustrated if people pop round when I'm wanting to gamble.

Have realised that maybe I have a bit of an obsessional type of personality which might have been linked to the gambling - am now spending any time on the computer listing things to sell on ebay and checking on sales. Also had a bit of good fortune when I sent a speculative letter off to C&G about my mortgage exist fees....got a response within 3 days saying they'll send a cheque for £140!!! In the past, figures like that meant nothing when I was gambling - but I'm so chuffed that I'll be able to pay a bit more off my credit card this month.

TB - I hope you manage to get things sorted. To almost distroy myself with my gambling was one thing - but to hurt others is something else altogether. You deserve better and I hope you find the strength to not let him lie and cheat his way back into your life.

Once again to everyone here - thank you x

TotallyBroke

Well I'm feeling a lot more positive today. I'm not sure if he tried to log onto the computer or not but I feel kind of smug knowing he wasn't able to do anything on there.
His family do know that he has a gambling problem. Although I do not know if they know I have kicked him out again. They only came back from being with family after the funeral so I've not spoken to them.
His Mum is not happy with his gambling and has always said that she would not blame me for anything that happens. She even joked with me one day that if I did murder him she'd bury him under her hot tub lol. But I think calling the police would push that boundary. They are not in a position to help me out financially and I would not ask them. I find it hard enough to ask my own family let alone ask them. But they do buy ds clothes and shoes so I can't grumble.
Thanks for the info on new life. When I get time I'll have a look at it.

Well done to everyone who has not gambled themselves and has found something else to fulfill their lives. Do you know the real strange thing. I was actually tempted myself to gamble. I actually considered going onto one of these bingo sites in the hope I could turn £20 into £100+. How stupid am I.
I read your stories and although I can't relate to them at times because I'm on the other side of the fence. I understand that it is a downward spiral for some. But still I considered it briefly. Still that was yesterday and today is today. x

cantcope

Hi Copperjar, nice to see you back. Well done on going this far without a bet. It will take time but soon enough you'll wonder how you ever had the time to gamble so much. Great news about the cheque. Good things do happen, but as you said, when you were gambling it wouldnt have meant anything. Now you aren't gambling you can see things for what they are and if they aren't so good you'll be able to cope with them better.
Keep up the good work

TB, glad you are feeling more positive today. Be careful of those thoughts. I have a lady at my GA meeting who did exactly that when her gambling husband had spent the wages again. 3 years on, she's at GA, he's god knows where as she kicked him out and he's never made an attempt to come back to her or their children. Although you may well be able to do that and stop at £100, ask yourself if you could then never do it again should you be short one month? I know my mum could do it and not be tempted. Not everyone has a problem. Only you know if you would be strong enough

How about you sell some of his stuff on ebay to make £100? sorry couldnt resist

Wishing everyone strength to get through one day at a time x
just for today i will not gamble.

TotallyBroke

I won't gamble. I may in time go back to the bingo hall as a treat but at the moment I'm numb to the thought of gambling. When I lived in Ireland a few years back I used to go to bingo twice a week. We would meet up with family and have fun. I don't find gambling fun anymore.

If the !!!!!! had anything worth selling I might.
I've got a few things I could sell but I've only ever bought off ebay never sold so I'll have to get myself into gear and learn how to do it.

Thanks everyone

cantcope

Hi TB, you have to enjoy yourself. Gambling itself is not a problem. It's only a problem for people that cannot stop when they are winning or losing.
I used to enjoy bingo with my mum now and again and honestly miss the time we spent together but not really the bingo.
we;ve still not found something we can do together as she has limited mobility so shopping, swimming etc are out.

make sure you spend some time on yourself you need a treat now and again.
selling on ebay is pretty simple. I think there is a board on here where i'm sure people will be more than happy to help xx

Ames

I've got limited mobility. I enjoy going out for a coffee (or a beer!), going to the cinema (you can get a card that lets a carer go for free so it's cheaper), going for a cheap meal. If she's got a blue badge then it should be easy to park somewhere fairly close to the venue. Or you could have a dvd/pizza night in.

softngentle

TB – sorry to hear about your experience, I wish you all the best in the future for you and your son.


I think I am experiencing my ‘rock bottom’ at the moment. Thought I’d had it before, but now it’s started to affect me to the point where I’ve had the last few days off work. I’m an emotional wreck at the moment, think I’ve finally realised this has to stop. Am crying at the stupidest thing and my stomach is in knots, feels like I’m getting an ulcer.

I don’t want to have too long off work because I need to keep to a regular pattern but I come into contact with a lot of people in my job and am in no fit state to face them at the moment. Not sure whether to go to see my doctor again, only went a couple of weeks ago and my anti-depressants aren’t due to be increased dosage wise for another fortnight yet so don’t think they can do any more at the moment anyway.

Sorry for the moan, just feeling sh*te..

cantcope

Thanks Ames, i've suggested all of those things. Unfortunately she hates films and is on a permanent diet
i end up just going over to parents house and watching tv with them

SnG, hang in there hon. It IS an emotional time when you realise you have no control. it's also bewildering when you realise that you cannot carry on doing what has taken up so much of your time and can sometimes feel like the only place you feel you "belong".

don't push yourself too far. Can you book some holiday at work if you dont want to take time off sick? I'd get back to the doc tomorrow anyway, tell him why you are so down and they may up your dosage early.

I got very very ill months after i'd stopped and my consultant told me it was a delayed reaction to what i'd been through. Don't worry about moaning, thats what this board is here for.

thinking of you x

Ames

I don't suppose you both like reading? I'm in a couple of reading groups that are loads of fun.

cantcope

I love reading but unfortunately mum doesnt. i really have exhausted all possibilities. She's a bit of a hermit to be honest and doesnt seem to have any interests other than watching tv.

Never mind. thanks for the suggestions though.

Hope everyone is well today