ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Ames

Sounds like my mum!

GeorgeUK

Hi guys, me again.

Can't believe what you've had to go through TB - and not even asking about his son? He must be really screwed up. I guess he still doesn't see himself as needing to sort out his "habit"?

Not had access to a computer for a while (and won't again for the rest of the week - cutting down access from work too). Just been notified that all staff will be getting a 5% pay cut so i've no idea where that leaves me financially. I think i'm okay, but i just did a BT for my brother (who earns about 3 times my wage). He says he'll be able to pay me back when his expenses go through but as he already owes me a few thousand, i'm just a little worried. He has started a new job so i didn't want to leave him high and dry.

Well done to everyone else that has managed to avoid temptation. I bought a lottery ticket last week, but that's been it for me. There's no way i'll be addicted to the lottery!! Strictly a one off as my brother was down visiting and i decided to join him.

SnG - I know it's really hard when the enormity of what you have done hits. I was tearing up at the slightest thing - couldn't watch the news as i knew that would just set me off. I think the turning point really came when i could see a way out of the debt i had created. Have you started to do this or get help on this? You can start a new thread and get input from others on the board who may be able to advise.

Once you have something to aim for it moves the focus away from what you have done to what you can do and should hopefully settle you down a little. I know it sounds a bit corny, but that's how it seemed to work for me. Take a look at the financial situation, get a plan on how to tackle it, but don't try to tackle it all at once. If you see a mountain of debt in front of you, you think how can i move a mountain - all you need to do is chip away at it in little pieces and eventually you'll come out the other end. After you start on fixing the finances, you should have some confidence back as you are in control again and can start again on facing the world. I had to get new coping mechanisms in place so that i didn't just fall back into gambling. Hopefully you won't need to make changes like this, but we can help if you need to talk about it or if you need advice on how to get the finances sorted.

There is always a solution to a financial problem. Not always one you want and not always easy, but there is a solution. Are you coping okay right now?

baxgttdi

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! After being good for so long I could kick myself!!! I gambled , *%^%^$%^(%^%^( @ me (. So disappointed in myself, lost about £50, really anoyed if you can't tell, I feel like banging me headoff a wall

riquelme

sorry to hear that bax,

look at some facts though,
1. it probably could have been a lot worse
2. you are gutted that you have done it
3. you are on hear on a support thread telling your story
4. its been a while since your last bet

so it seems to me that you are capable of beating this and that you want to.
thats good

what may be useful to know is why you went back to it?

have you put things in place that stop you from doing it? (getting banned from bookies, gamblock, no access to excess money?)

think of it as a blip and come back stronger than before

best wishes

cantcope

Morning all. hope everyone is ok.
I'm rotten. Had horrible nightmares last night about gambling

I've been off a bet for over 2 years and very rarely think about gambling now but last night i woke every half hour or so crying my eyes out because of a horrible dream.
i was living with my parents and younger brother who was gambling on the tv?! on a game that used to be one of my favourites online. Anyway, we were all watching him and i was getting really agitated as he got up to about £50k then lost it and my parents were goading him to put some more on. everytime i walked out of the room i got told to sit down and not be rude. He ended up winning £440k and they were all celebrating but looking at me knowing how i upset i was and laughing that i couldnt have any of it because i was a compulsive gambler. i then watched as he carried on gambling behind their backs losing more and more but eventually getting it back up and withdrawing it all.
They all left me at home alone while they jetted off around the world.

Now this is just bizarre and the feelings i had worry me. I was so jealous but more angry with my brother for risking it.

None of them have a gambling problem and would not do this in front of me anyway. So why did i dream it??

I feel rotten today and just need to get it off my chest but if i tell them i will feel really silly. Hope someone else has this sort of dream after being off a while otherwise i'm worried it could be the start of something bad

Ames

That's a horrible dream. But there is a positive in it - you were angry and fearful for your brother, you weren't indulging yourself in gambling, which I think shows how far you've come and that you see it as a problem. I hope that makes sense!

cantcope

yes it does. hadn't thought of it like that. Thanks Ames.

told my mum about it today when i went over to see her. She just said i hope that doesnt mean you are going to have a bet!! i have no desire to gamble but was really rattled this morning. I feel a bit better now and am going to put it down to the new medication i'm on giving me nightmares and move on.

Hope everyone is well today x

Ames

It could well be the medication, whenever mine changes I always have really vivid intense dreams.

riquelme

stay strong CC, its good that youve got it off your chest, we're always here for you and everyone else. people say its the 2nd and 3rd year that are sometimes the worst for ex gamblers because their defences come down a little. keep on your guard my friend


for everyone else. this is a personal question and something ive contemplated. its about medication. does anyone else feel down, depressed either as withdrawel from gambling or because what they have done (gambled)
ive spoken about this at my GA meeting and it seems quite common for ex gamblers to be on some form of medication.

please only answer this if you feel comfortable in doing so, or if you prefer to PM me, please do so.

cantcope

I have only just been put on antidepressants as my migraines have got noticably worse over the last year and unfortunately because of the medication i take to keep them at bay i cannot take any other medication to stop them other than these. My neurologist seems to think its a combination of coming to terms with my gambling and other factors i've had to deal with over the last 2 years. Moving house 4 times, being diagnosed with MS and being made redundant twice.

He seems to think that because i've just got on and dealt with all this without much thought my brain just can't take it anymore and i need to take a step back to get me back on track. It's been overwhelming and i can understand where he's coming from. Although GA and forums helped me massively with my gambling i never really dealt with how crappy i felt and ashamed, embarrassed, stupid and that's just made me bury my feelings away.

It's like i've had almost a 3 year delay in these coming to the surface so i am hoping that not only will the medication help with my migraines they will also help lift my mood on the days i feel like a failure.