ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Really sorry to hear that TB. Especially after everything seemed to be going so well.
I'd get the locks changed while he's not there.
You know where we all are if you need us xxx

TotallyBroke

Thanks to you all. Yes it looks like changing the locks is the only option.
My online banking is showing this morning that there is another £60 coming out. I'm racking my brains but can't think of any bills due. So looks like he could've done it again.

Thanks again

riquelme

my heart goes out to you TB, youve given him enough chances, youve been more than fair with him, youve told him where he stands.... and hes betrayed you again

well done in making a decision, hope it works out for you

as others have said, we're all here for you ..
xx

geranium72

So sorry Tb - you have been through enough. Stay strong.

Welcome to all the new posters - the stories I read from you are so similar to my own

I can proudly say though that I haven't gambled in 2009

Happy New Gambling free Year to everyone

TotallyBroke

Well done geranium72. So glad you are doing well.

I'm determined to have a good couple of days.
It's only me and ds as OH has gone to a funeral. He won't be back until late Thursday night. I've decided not to lock him out while he is away. The reason for this is he has to come back Thursday night and will need to get his bike and clothes for work. He also won't have sorted anywhere to stay due to the funeral. So on Friday when he gets back from work (if he comes back) we will talk and sort out maintenance and access. I will then change the lock on Saturday morning. So he can not be in the house unless I am there.

Gamblock is also going on the pc over the weekend and if I get time I'll be going to the bank and getting a new account and card sorted.

cantcope

Good for you TB. Sounds like you have a plan in place which is just what you need right now. Now all you need to do is stick to it. Can you call the bank tonight and tell them to stop any further transactions other than dd;s and standing orders? might cover you until you can get to the bank for a new account.

Thinking of you and your ds xx

GeorgeUK

Hi TB - really had hopes that he was going to get himself straightened out. I'm glad you seem to be coping with this okay, but remember we're always here if you want to scream, rant, rave, talk or cry.

Here's a dodgy hug to keep you going.
:grouphug:

TotallyBroke

I hadn't thought about that cantcope. I'll have a look tonight at the banking because I do have some bills that are paid by regular monthly card payment. I think they are all done for this month but I'll have to make sure.

The £60 was another gambling site and there appears to be a refund of £93 from Aquapay.

GeorgeUK a dodgy hug is just what I need right now. It was the strangest feeling sleeping in my huge bed on my own. DS is now happily sleeping in his own bed now.

cantcope

the refund will be "winnings". what a swine
i really hope he realises that he can never win soon. Not for your sake as i think that boat has sailed but for his and your sons sake.

Hope you get the bank sorted. I think Martin has posted somewhere that one of the banks is offering £100 for opening a current account and you can get £50 extra if you open it through quidco. If you do this you can buy a nice biig teddy to use up the other side of your bed and have a day out with your son xx

Try to have a nice evening TB. Thinking of you x

TotallyBroke

Thank you for the info on the bank account. I'll have to search and find some more info.

Well by now I would normlly have a transfer of money into my account from his. This has not arrived so I can only guess he has cancelled the SO or he has spent the money so they couldn't transfer it.
I expected him back last night after the funeral but he never came home so I guess he realises it's over.

We spoke on Monday as normal, I text him on Tuesday telling him it was over. I asked "was the game good" on Tuesday night after he came back from the football game. I spoke to him Wednesday to make sure he had got to Tamworth after the problems at Euston. I text him Thursday to say my thoughts were with him and his family for the funeral.
That was the last I heard of him. Not once has he phoned or text off his own back. Not once, considering he has been a 3 hour drive away from our ds has he asked about him. So I am done with him.
He's back in London and at work so I'll have to wait until 6 tonight to see if he is going to come back and get some stuff and give me some money.
I want the gambling money back. I want some maintenance for our ds and I want him to start paying me an amount each month to pay off the debts that have been caused by his gambling.

I've now got to get myself in gear and seriously juggle money because it looks doubtful he'll give me any money this month. Looks like I'll be shaking the begging bowl at my sister again this month. But it'll just get added to his gambling debt so it'll be nearly £3000 that i have had to borrow because of his gambling.

I looked on rightmove last night to consider renting and selling my place. But wow renting is so much more expensive than my mortgage. If I was on a repayment (instead of io) I would be paying £400 approx per month. They want £800 per month for a 2 bedroom upstairs converted maisonette. So think I'll be staying put lol.