ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

softngentle

Thanks for your replies everyone. Well I’ve had a stressful couple of days trying to sort out my finances and decided today to get a payday loan so that I could make my DMP payment (DMP is with cccs). I know many people do not agree with payday loans, but I really don’t want the hassle of phone calls and letters from my creditors as it’s taken me a while to get comfortable again with answering my phone or opening my post. Providing I do not gamble, I will be able to pay off the loans next month and hopefully get off on the right footing again. I need to treat this week’s stupidity as a lesson learned and move on.

The funny thing with my gambling history is that I’ve never had ‘the big win’. Maybe that’s what’s been keeping me gambling …but like you say copper, it will more than likely just end up in me owing more money. In a way though, I know I will never get back what I lost. Not only the money but also the 2 stressful years I have had as a result, what a waste of my life! Like you, cantcope, I’ve developed a bit of an eating disorder too. Seems to be that sometimes I’m hell bent on causing myself as much physical and emotional damage as possible. I know this has to change and I’ve just been to the docs to go back on the anti-depressants that I stopped taking because I thought I was better. Hopefully the tablets will help lift my mood and get my eating back under better control.

My DFD is Sept 2011, I so desperately want to be free of debt as soon as possible so hope to find some positive ways (not gambling!) to be deft free quicker. I have listed a few bits and pieces on Ebay and for the last few days have been on some quite long walks to help improve my mood and get fit in a positive way too. I will keep posting here as I think having the chance to put it into words helps to keep me reminded of the consequences of my gambling.

Thanks for listening

cantcope

Hi Softngentle. Sounds like you've done a lot of thinking the last few days. a good walk in the fresh air can do wonders.

I sold quite a lot on ebay in the early days, the most satisfying was weighing a load of old broken gold jewellery and odd earrings or jewellery i just knew i would never wear again. i sold it as scrap on ebay and made over £100!! worth a look if you have anything.

I also signed up to pigsback and used the boots vouchers i earned to buy toiletries and a face pack for my "treat" each month. i only ever bought the bogofs so a tenner kept me in toiletries for about 3 months.

if you use tesco make sure you use your vouchers wisely. i used mine for RAC cover on my car (i downgraded to an older car) and subscribed to a mag for another "free treat" each month.

pinecone research pay £4 in luncheon vouchers for each survey completed and you also get sent things to try now and again. If you do, you get to keep the product and get another £4 when you complete the after survey. these were a life saver for me as i learned to grocery shop for a week with £4!

posting on here will definitely help. I found gambling very solitary and lonely even though i used to chat a lot in the rooms i never really spoke about how i was feeling. getting it all down on the screen is like therapy, especially when there are people here that know what you are going through.

It's a long road to recovery but i hope by reading mine and others stories on here we can give you some hope. My life is ordinary, simple and mostly happy. I've given up on the dreamworld and am content with my life now.

I'm off for a bubble bath with a baileys and a magazine. simple pleasures.

have a good day tomorrow and keep posting x

riquelme

cant cope - well done to you, you're spot on its the simple things that we need to learn to appreciate.

all - happy new year ive been away with family and friends and all their kids to a huge house in somerset. had a lovely time.

copper jar - hi and welcome- you really sound like you mean business in beating this, good luck to you. its a hard road but theres a lot of support on here for you if you need to sound off or are struggling. keep up the good work


softngentle - welcome - there is life without gambling, its not that long ago that we all had one, we just need reprogramming whilst putting things in place that stops us from doing it. gambling breaks families and relationships, ruins lives and can cause untold damage. whats done is done, start making amends put your efforts itno getting your debts down. im positive that once you see them reducing it will give you a healthier buzz and spur you on.

best wishes everyone,

4 months without a bet and another day today without one.

cantcope

well done Riquel. You should be proud of yourself. Hope you had a lovely time away with the family x

copperjar

Thanks to all again. Am currently gathering all my old junk to put on ebay!! Written a big list and spreadsheet so I can see the money coming in (if it does!). Sad but keeping me entertained!!

No bets for 5 days - doesn't seem half as long as its felt but I'm determined!

cantcope

5 days is brilliant copperjar. give yourself a pat on the back.

riquelme

copperjar - keep it up well done, one day at a time, say to yourself tomorrow
"today, i will not gamble"

TotallyBroke

TotallyBroke wrote: »

OH is off work this week which does make me nervous. But I have to trust, don't I !!!!
There are lots of things that need to be done at home and from what he did yesterday it would seem he has been keeping himself busy. So my fingers and toes are crossed that it will continue.

Well, well, well it's me again.... I wrote the quoted message last week.
Well I checked my online banking this morning and I am £210 short. Good old Aquapay has my money. He has none of his wages left to pay me back so I'm stuffed again. I've spent the whole morning writing my soa out for the rest of the month and next working out where I can juggle money to keep me going.

I sent him a text but he won't answer, I've tried ringing but again he won't answer me. He's off to the football tonight and then off to his Grandmother's funeral so i won't see him until the weekend. I've text him now telling him to enjoy the football because we are finished as a couple. I've also said at the weekend we can discuss how much maintenance he will pay and how much towards the debt he will pay each month because I'm not paying it.

moneymare

TotallyBroke wrote: »

Well, well, well it's me again.... I wrote the quoted message last week.
Well I checked my online banking this morning and I am £210 short. Good old Aquapay has my money. He has none of his wages left to pay me back so I'm stuffed again. I've spent the whole morning writing my soa out for the rest of the month and next working out where I can juggle money to keep me going.

I sent him a text but he won't answer, I've tried ringing but again he won't answer me. He's off to the football tonight and then off to his Grandmother's funeral so i won't see him until the weekend. I've text him now telling him to enjoy the football because we are finished as a couple. I've also said at the weekend we can discuss how much maintenance he will pay and how much towards the debt he will pay each month because I'm not paying it.

Sorry to hear this TB - sounds a bit like the Gascoigne programme last night where Sheryl had to make the decision to make the big final break for her own sanity........hope things work out

Ames

I'm so sorry to hear that TB. You know we're here to support you.