ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

StudentBoy

Hi CantCope and Ames. Thanks for your advice.

I'm 2 and a half years into a 4 years masters degree course studying pharmacy. I'm hoping just to scrape by and get the degree, but to be honest I'm not sure if Pharmacy is my right career path. I've always loved maths, so I was thinking of getting a maths degree after Pharmacy and making that my career .

Gambling blocking software sounds pretty cool. I'll definitely check that out as a possible option.

riquelme

student, hi and welcome. time to be straight with you. you have a problem, if you win you will only lose it and more. who knows, next step maybe a credit card or 2 that you will max out. that could mean another £8000 in debt, believe me its possible and very easy. you need either break the will to do it (v difficult at 1st), or break the means to do it (gamblock, getting rid of credit cards, canceling accounts) if you are serious about stopping then start putting things in place so that you dont have the means to do it. check out your local GA there are some great people there with similar stories that can offer advice and support.

best wishes

TotallyBroke

Hi
I would just like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a very happy and prosperous New Year.
If you don't get anything from Santa this year you may next year once you have proved you can be good boys and girls.

cantcope

Hi TB,
Hope everything is nice and calm for you at the moment. I am so excited about Christmas. The first i've not had to worry about how i'm going to buy presents or afford to go out.
Makes it all so worthwhile

wishing everyone a happy, healthy, gamble free Christmas xxxx

TotallyBroke

Oh everything is going so well at the moment. I think Christmas has helped OH not to gamble. Our lo sleeps with us at the moment and our aim was to decorate a bedroom for lo from Father Christmas.
It has cost us a fortune what with bed and carpet etc. But I'm hoping now that OH will realise that we could afford that £600 because he hadn't gambled. So every month we could have £600 spare (if not more) to pay off debts and get new hobbies that don't involve losing money.
Fingers crossed and we can only hope. I've asked Father Christmas for a gamble free 2009

cantcope

That's great news TB. Really happy for you all xxx

riquelme

happy christmas everyone,

havent had a bet for nearly 4 months now.

TB - that sounds great, hope everything works out for you and the family.

remember everyone, stay strong we dont need to gamble, life is so much better without it

copperjar

Hello everyone - long time lurker, finally plucked up the courage to post. I've had a lightbulb moment today and have finally acknowledged to myself that I have a problem with gambling. I'm so utterly embarassed and angry with myself - have known for a while that things were getting out of control but didn't want to face up to it, always thought a big win was just around the corner so I could clear my debts. Yes...gambling was actually my plan to clear debts...from gambling! Utterly crazy.

Sorry if I ramble on a bit here, but want to write it down so I never get myself into the same mess again.

I'm female, 33, in a good job and generally a sensible person. Looking today at my betfair account, I've had to face up to the fact that over the past 3 years, I've lost over £16k through gambling. I'm mortified. I knew the debt was big but somehow still convinced myself that I could get out of it. I got a loan last year to clear my credit cards (maxed out through gambling) and again last month had to get more money through a remortgage to pay off new gambling debts. I realised it had to stop in December - worked out my finances, paid off my credit cards and think I can live relatively okay if I just stop the gambling.

All was okay until I got back home from a family Xmas on Saturday. Decided I'd have a little bet because just before Xmas I deposited £10 and got it up to £600...only to not withdraw any of it and blow the wholw lot. Wanted to be "sensible" this time - try to get back up to a couple of hundred pounds and withdraw it. Of course all I ended up doing was lose £250.

I feel sick. I'm usually pretty tight with money - have deliberated all week about a tv stand I need to buy - the one I liked being £40 more expensive than my second choice. Sensibly I've gone for the cheaper one...then blow £250 in two days on random desperate betting.

Part of me is panicking - I could often build a big amount from a small stake (but then usually lost it again before I withdrew my winnings). The thought that I haven't an option to make a bit more money on the side (even though I lost and didn't win...but the thought was there that I could) is worrying me. I have to live on my wage and put any spare aside to clear debts - I can't kid myself anymore that I can make a quick couple of hundred pounds to buy something nice.

Nobody knows I've got this problem....I'm hoping that by finally sharing I won't be tempted to convince myself of the impossible again.

Thanks for listening - sorry if the post jumps around a bit.

cantcope

Hi Copperjar.

Firstly well done for posting. Feels good to get it all out doesnt it.
You are the same age/gender as me.

I thought the same to begin with, make a few quid, never happened though as i always bet my winnings. then after i'd wasted all my profit from selling my flat (nearly 70k) it was, win enough to clear debts (credit cards and loans i got just to gamble with!), never happened as always bet more.

I realised that it didnt matter how much i won it would never be enough. if i won enough to clear debt i then wanted more to treat myself with. chances are if i won £100,000.00 i'd want £100,001.00. does that make sense?

There are only 2 things i can guarantee for you.
1, If you dont stop gambling your problem will get progressively worse and your debt bigger.

2, if you do stop, your debt will go down. (slowly maybe but it will definitely decrease)

lots of people suffer with a sense of shame, sleepless nights, irritability, and become consumed with worry. These will also gradually disappear if you stop.

it's a terrifying thing to admit you have a problem but once you do there is so much support for you it should help you to overcome it.
I'd recommend putting a block on your computer such as gamblock. Although i've been off a bet for over 2 years i wouldn't be without a block. I dont want the temptation.

I wish you the best. Please PM if you want any advise or just a rant.

xxx

copperjar

Thank you cantcope.

I feel sick with it all today. Have been so good this past month, not just by not gambling, but saving money in other ways. And all that hard work (and being miserly) has been wiped out in 2 days. I wish I could just go back to Saturday.