ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

TotallyBroke

Hi baxggtdi.

Glad you came over and joined us.

Congrats on starting to get yourself sorted. It is good to get things off your chest and here is a great place. We're very nice but we also call a spade a spade and not a shovel if that is what needs to be said.

riquelme

alright bax - good for you in making the changes, 1 thing i am certain of and that is life is so much better without gambling. it can only lead to ruin. its going to take me 7 years to be debt free and for the 1st time in my adult life that will be something to look forward to.
bax, dont be complacent about it, it may only take 1 weak moment and you could easily be back in ga,mbling again. truth is, if i really wanted to gamble i could, its part willpower part putting things in place to actually stopping you doing it. gamblock, getting banned from bookies, closing accounts etc. please be on your guard.

anyway, you know where we are if you need us, like TB says you're always welcome

GeorgeUK

Hi bax

Well done on posting. I know it can be hard sometimes, but just getting everything out there can help. I know what you mean about finding it hard not stopping - i thought i was in control enough that i could play free games and then it wouldn't matter but i didn't have the discipline even for that.

Glad you seem to be on the right road and if you need any advice or encouragement, we'll be here.

cantcope

Hi everyone just though i'd pop in. Don't beat yourself up over a raffle ticket Riquel, but if it makes you feel bad. Next time just give the boy the £1 and tell him to keep the ticket. That's what i do anyway, just a donation no ticket thank you...

Well done for posting Bax. like you my destructive gambling was only over a short period online (14 months). started small, progressed to obscene amounts. Lost approx £5k for each month of my gambling. was lucky most of it was mine to lose but when i look back now, had i used that money for what i'd saved it for (house deposit) then the mortgage on the flat i bought this year would be so tiny i could work part time. as it is i work full time and can just about afford it.

I wish i'd bought the porsche i couldnt justify buying at the time now.

oh well, we live and learn. Hope everyone is well. I've had no thoughts of gambling this week. Am just getting really excited about Christmas....

i'll share a story on that note.

3 years ago i had no money. my bills were paid for the month and i'd gambled the rest. I'd maxed out my cards and had no food in the cupboards. I'd written a letter for my parents to finally tell them that i'd been gamlbing for 10 months, had spent all my money and now had 2 credit cards and 2 loans and couldnt buy food or presents for christmas. I chickened out when i got there and mum moaned that my brother had borrowed more money from them. She said she'd have a heart attack if he came up with any more problems.

I went home and sobbed. I just wanted to tell someone, anyone, i just wanted someone to hug me and tell it would be allright. I didnt particularly want someone to pay my debts, just to help me find a way to stop. I knew come Christmas day i would get found out when i turned up empty handed.

A week later i "won" £250 worth of high street vouchers through the online casin o i played on. I "won" them for being the highest spender on a particular game in the November (shaking my head at the madness of it all, i felt proud?!!).

I thought this fantastic!! I could use them to buy all my christmas presents, get some food and drink in and pretend everything was ok. At least i couldnt use them to gamble with as if they were cash it's a certainty that i would.

Life was good again in my messed up mind.

Anyway, the vouchers turned at by special delivery at 3pm on Christmas Eve!!! I was having kittens. off to the shops i went and spent like a mad woman! everything was in the sales and i still had £100 left for food! Wonderful. Christmas day came and went and everyone loved their gifts. I filled myself up with food and drink and had a great time. I couldnt go out as i had no money but i didnt care, I'd got away with it. Until payday. When it started over again.

Sorry i know thats really long and maybe to some, boring and pointless. But to me it shows me how far i've come since i stopped. My presents are all bought and paid for. I can see them now as i write this under my tree all wrapped with shiny bows. I have food and drink a plenty and have money set aside to go out over the holidays.

This year is the first year in 4 that i am not in debt and I LOVE IT

riquelme

cantcope - thats great news, so glad youre doing ok, i know exactly what you are talking about, i used to be proud that i won £200 on fixed odds and we went to town to buy a hoover or something similar, dirty money, my OH knew it, im sure at the time she wouldnt have been bothered about a gift if i didnt gamble.

never again.,

sounds like youre going to have a great christmas break cant cope, xx good for you

TanJunkie

MCKENZIE HALL - and my rights
Hi there
Can anyone help me with a query/problem i have with the dreaded McKenzie Hall.

Basically, about 9 years ago I took out a Clydesdale Bank loan for £5,000 over 3 years. I paid this loan (I recal it was about £250) per month for AT LEAST half of the term.

For personal reasons, I moved out of town and basically was unable to pay the loan - so ignored it! It was the last thing on my mind at the time.

About a year and half ago i got myself sorted and knew that MH were looking for me for this debt so i agreed with them that I would pay £110 per month - and have been paying by direct debit for all this time - in fact I have paid over £3,000.
Out of curiosity i called them on Monday to see how much I still had to pay and they said that i owed £1,900 odd . . . . which to me seems a lot considering what i had paid to Clydesdale before i defaulted . . . and what I have paid to MH.
I asked if i could have a statement of account from them stating the loan amout, what i had paid to Clydesdale, what I had paid to MH to date! i was told that the Accounts Manager woudl call me back.
I had not heard back so today I called again chasing up - because the thought of having to pay £110 for at least another 17 months doesnt seem right!
I spoke to some guy (to$$er) who became very aggressive when I asked (very nicely) why the accounts manager hadnt called and that basically i was asking for them to put in writing the statement of account.
He become very aggressive and said that "BY LAW, WITH ME DEFAULTING CLYDESDALE, I GAVE UP ALL MY RIGHTS TO THIS INFORMATION"!!? Surely this isnt true!! I explained that MH had come along with a figure of £5,300 and I want to know how this was made up - not being unreasonable am I? Well he got really nasty and said that First Credit (???) had basically bought the debt from Clydesdale and it was £5,300 and that is what MH are collecting on behalf of FC. They dont have any notes or files etc and that I had "Given up my right to this information by defaulting - and I should have asked Clydesdale for this information but now it was too late" . . . . is this correct ?? Surely i have a right to know what i am paying . . . . charges etc. I also said i wanted a copy of the Credit Agreement as i am sure I have PPI and want to know if I am entitled to claim against being sold it . . . blah blah! I advsied him that I am a legal secretary (didnt tell him it was in Media Law!!) but that I am sure that I still have legal rights to all of this information. He got real nasty and I said to him that I thought that his attitude stinks and that he is trying to be intimidating because I am asking for something that i am surely entitled to obtain. he said that "I have been on this phone to you for 10 mins going over the same stuff" - and I explained to him that was his job! I told him I wanted to know what charges had been added because i know the charges have to be "proportionate to the debt" and if i owed say £2,800 or whatever to Clydesdale, then charges of say £3,000 are not propoprtionat and unfair!
Can anyone tell me if he is right in that once the debt i owed to Clydesdale has been sold on - i have no right to any information as to charges etc.

cantcope

I think you are posting on the wrong thread. This is for problem gamblers.

StudentBoy

Hi everybody,

I've read a lot of the posts here about gambling and thought I would just add in my story.

I'm 20 years old and have been gambling since I turned 18. Initially, it was just a bit of fun and I would always gamble with what I could afford. However, around 6 months ago, I got a new student bank account with a £500 overdraft. I thought "no problem", I'll never use the overdraft anyway because I have a part time job and my monthly expenditure isn't that much.
Fast forward to today and I'm currently £400 into my £500 overdraft, with 90% of my monthly expenditure going into gambling sites. I sometimes ask myself why I gamble and why I have an addiction to it?
I'm not one for making excuses, however I'm currently an undergraduate doing an extremely stressful course that I despise. Gambling for me is a release. Whenever I have an exam or I have an assignment to hand in, I turn to gambling to relieve stress. It's also to chase that winning feeling. I've been all over the place with gambling. At one stage I had around £600 in my bank account and around £1000 in my online gambling account. On the other flip of the coin, here I am with nothing in my gambling account and I owe the bank about £450.
Every month when I get my wages in, I think "right, no more gambling until I have X amount in my bank", but a week later, I'm back to square one chasing losses.

So, I guess thats it. That's my little story. On the bright side, It's nearly Xmas (and thankfully I've bought all the presents I need to buy already).

If anyone has any questions about my experience with gambling, please ask me.

cantcope

Hi Student boy. I think most gamblers will be able to understand that you gamble as some sort of release. The trick is to find something less soul destroying. How about a self defence class to get all the stress out? You're right, its nearly Christmas and i'm glad your present are already bought.
It's also nearly a new year. Maybe time to tackle the problem.

I'd recommend putting a gambling block on your pc, there are links in this thread for a few sites that will help. It's a horrible feeling working all month to have nothing to show for it.
I wish you well. xx

Ames

I can understand the wanting to release tension when you're studying, I'm the same but instead of gambling I overeat (which is why I'm now 17 stone). I've just managed to do an essay without the eating though, which I'm really pleased about.

If you're doing a course you despise why don't you change courses? How far into your course are you? Is it just the course you hate or the whole area?