ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Thanks George & Ames. They do know how i felt and feel now about the gambling as both my parents have been to a few open evenings where i've spoken honestly and frankly. There's always a 5 minute chat after saying it upset them and thats the end of it.

I write down quite a lot in a journal and have my original posting on here from the day i cracked in May 06 in my subscriptions and quite often go back and read it. It makes me see how far i've come and it does help.

I think maybe i'm just having a really !!!! week feeling sorry for myself. I've been being sick all night and just want to curl up and cry for a month. work tomorrow though so no option to do that.

tomorrow is another day and i will start it with a smile on my face xx

Ames

Maybe they just can't handle it, or don't know how to show if they can. My dad's a bit like that about my ME and bipolar, makes the right noises if he has to but then shows that he doesn't have a clue.

riquelme

bump.... back to the top


hows everyone, its my 40th birthday party tomorrow, birthday last week.
something else to feel down about!!! only kidding

hope everyones ok and staying strong

cantcope

Hi Riquel. Many Happy Returns. Hope you enjoy your party tomorrow. You have so much more than a birthday to celebrate.

All ok here. Been busy at work and knackered by the time i get home so no thoughts of gambling. I went to an extra meeting this week for a change of scenery. It's nice to hear different peoples stories now and again and i came away feeling really happy and positive. Will still go to my meeting tomorrow but enjoyed the change.

I have new neighbours living below me after the flat being empty for 2 months. I've forgotten how noisy people can be. They've only been there a week and i've listened to their trance music til 2 each morning, then screaming at each other for a good hour, then finally having sex eeewwwwwwwww

can wear earplugs at the weekend but can't risk missing my alarm in the week. Any suggestions other than politely asking them to shut the f*** up? hehe

TotallyBroke

Belated birthday wishes riquel.

cantcope I found when I had the same problem that two wrongs do make a right. The young teenage lad that lived below me used to blare his music out all night. Then about 3am it would stop. I get up at 6 to go to work. So what I used to do was place my speakers face down on the floor (his bedroom underneath) put in a cd on repeat turn up the volume and leave the house. (the cheesier the cd the better). It didn't take long for him to get the message. lol

I'm doing pretty good myself. I have been given a small pay rise at work so will clear my debts quicker which is fantastic.
Lo misses his Dad and keeps calling for him from the bottom of the stairs. The worrying thing is that when he gets no answer he calls for my sister then when still no answer he starts shouting "MAN" !!! there has never been a MAN upstairs in my house apart from his Dad or mine lol. I've begged him not to say that infront of his Dad lol.
Had a call from the man that runs the GA meeting that EXoh supposedly goes to. He asked me not to give up on him completely. He really tugged on my heart strings and made me feel guilty. I soon shook that feeling off though. He asked if I would like to go to a meeting with him and his wife. I've agreed to go one evening but am worried he'll make me feel guilty again. Still I'm a big girl now and should be able to handle the situation.

GeorgeUK

Was just thinking about your guys.

Apart from a possible paycut (or redundancies if everyone doesn't agree to the cut), i'm doing okay. I'll still able to manage the minimum payments so that's a relief.

Had a small calculated gamble last month (nothing to worry about though). Loaned my brother a few thousand pounds until his expenses cleared. I didn't think he'd be able to pay it back as he claimed and i was right, but he says he'll be able to pay back most of it this month. We'll see - going on past experience there was a chance i'd need to right-off the lot.

Hope you have a good birthday riquelme. Not sure what to suggest for you cantcope. How about phoning them when you know they won't want to be disturbed...
Withhold your number though

cantcope

Thanks for the ideas TB and George. I'm hoping to see them at some point this weekend and will politely mention it and if it doesnt stop i might ask my cousin (he's a 6ft4 policeman) to give them a knock. if that fails then i'll report it.

Glad to hear you are staying strong TB. don't let anyone make you feel guilty. You've done nothing but support this man and he has betrayed your trust over and over again. You can support him as a friend but nothing else. This does not mean lending him money or letting him move back in.

It's natural for you lo to miss his daddy but he will get used to it. children are incredibly resilient and as long as he knows you aren't going anywhere he'll be fine.

George, hope you get your money back. Maybe if you dont get it all ths month offer him a payment plan? that might seem more achievable to him and although you'll get it back in small amounts at least you'll have chance of getting it at all.

I'm off to my meeting tonight. tempted to blast out some steps or curtis stigers while i'm out he he.

TMoose

Hi

Do any of you guys/gals have a good distraction technique that you use to stop you gambling? I'm really struggling at the moment - fell off the wagon for a week or so and blew a grand. I'm now 2 days clean, and really need to make this stick.

My major problem is boredom - if I'm bored I gamble - so if I can find enough distraction I should be OK.

Thanks!

GeorgeUK

TMoose, my distraction for a long while was playing online games.

You may hate me for this by the time you get to level 32 (i think), but have a look at freeonlinegames and try gemcraft. That'll distract you.

After this you need to try to replace a bad habit with a good habit. I looked on it as instead of using the computer to gamble, use the computer to play games so it doesn't take me totally out of my routine. This way it is a slow progression and after a week you haven't really thought about gambling. It's just the initial thought of never gambling again that can seem huge. You just need to take it a step at a time and say "just for today..."

cantcope

Hi TMoose and welcome to the thread.
Try to get out of the house when you are bored. Just for a walk, clear your head, call a friend.
Make sure when you are done on the pc you turn it off.
How about a trip to the library?

I did lots of baking, cakes, pies... then i switched to long baths with a book... now i tend to make a call if i find myself tempted. i've rediscovered friends i'd neglected and have taken up a sport i played when i was young.

It;s hard to imagine how i made the time to gamble. every spare moment was spent gambling for me. Now i rarely have a spare moment.

Good luck. 2 days is an achievement. 1 day at a time x