ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

citizenkitten

no idea about the debt companies, better off going to the debt free wannabes board, they are so friendly and helpful. trust me you are not the first and you wont be the last.

how you doing, did the slip up get bad?

hitting the self destruct button is a common issue, in terms of general human behaviour. how many people do you know do it with relationships?

mate every minute you come on here havent not gabled or trying to tacjle your problem is good news.

dont think people come here to brag or judge others, people come here to try resolve their problem.

anything in live worth doing is hard damn work.

i have had a very busy weeks at work, havent had any time but to sleep and eat, apparently christmas is 10 days away...... sigh

cantcope

HI all. hope you are doing ok.

David, why keep putting off the fresh start? What are you frightened of? Binge gambling is no different, its destructive and the times in between your bets arent positive constructive times. They are just a lull before the storm.

All ok here, baby still not made an appearance (was due last saturday). getting a little bit fed up now.

citizenkitten

still no baby? it has gotten way too comfortable lol!

it is gloriously sunny here but i am in bed being lazy, reading the papers online and my oh has just offered a cup of tea.

christmas is remarkably less stressful this year no my oh and i have set limits on what to spend.

bit bizarre but I need to ask you all a question, my OH won 50 quid on the lotto last week. no he doesnt have a gambaling problem but when i asked him how he wanted to spend it he said i want to buy 50 lottery tickets for the next draw.. he hasnt yet done this... but do you think this is okay or this is madness?

Indebted.Dunce

Hi all,

Just thought I would check in, hope everyone is doing well?

I am still clean and temptation hasn't been as high (touchwood) and my snappiness has reduced considerably - I have gone from this guy who was constantly edgy to almost a baby Buddha!

CC - I am sure it will be worth the wait and the baby will arrive very soon!

CK - drinking is indeed expensive and super weighty, I am embarrassed of the beer belly that I have managed to get. Shifting it will be one hell of a mission considering I haven't exercised in years! No drinking January here I come!

As for your question, I think it is madness! He is hoping that 50 tickets will increase his odds of a bigger win (which statistically it does but not by much)

David - I am sorry but I did not quite understand your post so cannot really comment on it

Buffythedebtslayer

I wondered if anyone ever hears from George UK on here?

he used to post a while ago now but even the people who kept in touch don't anymore and well, the last I heard he was ill?

I just wondered

thanks
Buffy

citizenkitten

no only joined recently buffy so i dont know of him

I.D well done on you new baby buddha like status, what is your poison? the more alcohol a drink has the more calorific it is. maybe try switch to a beer with lower abv. or alternating between soft drink such as orange juice or something and then a drink? christmas is a bit of a tough time to cut down. I also find people are very pressuring when it comes to drinking. I gave up drinking in general around 7 years ago and yes i do have the odd drink but it is rare and still people give me a hard time about it.

cantcope

Hi Buffy, no he's not posted in ages and i dont have contact with him unless on here x

CK. Regarding the lotto ticket. its up to them. regardless of what you think. I think its madness but then i look at if differently now. If your oh doesnt need the £50 then fair play.

ID. This might be an idea to get you off the beers...My brother is doing a sponsored dryathon for cancer research in January......he needed the incentive to lose some beer belly! the more people know he's doing it the less likely he will have a drink for the whole month! Might be worth a look? If you set up a justgiving account then there is no money going through your hands either x

david01010

Hi guys.

Call from the OR has happened... Went well. I'm now bankrupt.... Letters haven't stopped though.

Seemed to understand.. ( God i hope he understood ) the reason for everything that has happened to me over the last.. damn, must be 4-5 years.. financial anyway.

I'm hoping that cause I didnt take out all my credit in like 3 months and gamble it away and then turn around and make myself bankrupt it doesn't look too bad to him... Gotta be 2 years, but debts I took out replaced my old ones. No escape... Just... no way out.

And if,,... And only IF, it's like what some people have said.. " Well, you are ok then... all that wiped off.. you must be alright "... I was even thinking about it like that, which I'm not. Then, ok yeah, all in all, 10 years of debt in my life, prolly the last 5-6 of which has been very problematic....

I feel like I have served a sentence... And if I can emerge from it now and just reintegrate myself into some sort of normal life.. After the psychological review I need to undergo next year.. ( NHS doesn't happen quick .. )

Bearing in mind I have lost not only money, credit file ( I wasn't gonna say it kinda ) but my life, to all of this...

OK. I'm hoping this bankruptcy will write off my debts and let me at least see a reason for living again... Been a tough couple of days to be honest....

Like, I have paid in, emotions... Does that make sense? I m totally spent emotion wise on this.. There is no jumping around punching the ceiling. I don't feel like I have won something.. I think I have paid emotionally for the money I owe...

I have paid a sh*t load of interest too btw!

I'm ashamed, embarrassed, and quite p8ssed off about all of it. And that's only the money side of things.

I just hope this is the begining of the end. But, now I need to concentrate on my mental health... It's not the blue's.... The last few days it's black... and only black.

With a mask of illusion cause I need to function in a day to day capacity. And noone to talk to about it. This would have been very dark, if I had written it earlier.. but I had a beer and chilled a bit.

ID.
No problem. I think I was just taken by what you said... And it made me realise about the self destruct.. ie self worth self image self everything... Although I did talk about it with my counsellor.

CK.
Slip up cost me my usual deposit.. 25 quid.. Because. a. I knew I was doing wrong. And b. That is my usual deposit. I have won 1000's on that 25 pounds.. It's just the next, and the next and pretty soon you are looking at 300 400 quid.. Although I never really lost betting that much.. It was when I started on the 100's that it started to go wrong. And c. I didnt go on the usual game..

Like a normal person. Just played poker for a while, lost... Got a bit !!!!ed.. BUT LEFT!!!!! NOT THOUGHT.. GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY.!

I liked your post there... Baby steps.. Ant logic?.. I'm sorry if that's wrong but I forget.. It's the boredom.. It's not betting this money and winning a months wages in an hour.. It's the normal boring stuff I need to get used to.

CC
I don't know when it begins... I owe thousands. Am bankrupt. I still have my job.. But I don't know for how long. I'm living in a place I don't want to be.. I would still gamble.... But I have tried to stop lieing to myself, ( Look, I can take care of this.. I won't gamble again... I can deal with it..... ( SAID THAT ABOUT 100 TIMES !! ) and really take it all out of my hands.. Pleading with people to take my money away.. Which they have. Also the dark part of myself needs to get changed, and I'm trying..

Indebted.Dunce

Hey guys!

Hows it all going? I am done with work till next year!

I am still clean and temptation has been minimal (touchwood) but something really weird happen last night / early this morning. It was my work Christmas event yesterday, so we went out had a few drinks etc but by the time we were done it was too late, I had missed my last train and the only way home was like £80 - 100 cab which I didn't want to take so I decided to wait for the first train, a good 3 hour wait! I was freezing outside, desperately needed somewhere warm and needed the loo (I don't understand how people can do their business on the streets, it is disgusting) nfortunately. However, the only place open was a casino so I had no choice but to go in and this is where the weird thing happened: I did NOT gamble! This is an absolute first for me!

I basically went in, got something to eat and got some water to try and sober up; I felt like I might be tempted, so walked out; walked a mile to the station which was still closed and I was still freezing; temptation was gone; walked back a mile to the casino; got more food and water without any temptation; took a walk around the floor, stopped at the blackjack tables, watched it for 2-3 mins got bored; walked out; went to the station - warm, fed, and having started the sobering up process; and came back home.

I don't intend to tempt fate by doing the above ever again, the question I have for you guys is: does this mean that I have taken my first steps to rehab?


Buffythedebtslayer: I do not know George but have read his post, I hope he is doing ok.

citizenkitten: the poison of choice varies on what the mood is like, generally beer and sometimes wine but lately it has become vodka tonic (supposedly less like to give a beer belly)! I am generally a slow drinker so when I am drinking beer I am always 2-3 beers behind but since I have started on vodka tonic, it has become a nightmare to lag so far behind.

cantcope: thank you! I was thinking about doing the dryathlon and your post helped me make up my mind. I am not sure whether it will be a sponsored one or not but I am certainly going to do it.

David: your post is now clearer, the decision isn't entirely in our hands but as I understand it, there are things we can do to ensure that the damage is minimized.

Good luck everyone and stay strong!

Happy Holidays!

ID

cantcope

Hi everyone. Hope you all managed to have a good Christmas. Mine has been like a carcrash. Ended up with a horrific labour after a catalogue of errors thanks to the hospital and ended up begging to be knocked out for a c section.
My son, Lewis, was born on 21st Dec weighing 9lb 3oz. He is a little miracle.

I am unable to look after him properly at the moment as i have a gaping wound and every muscle in my back has been ripped. Good job i have a wonderful husband.

Here's to a happy, bet free, new year xx