ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Welcome to the thread. Please try not to be frightened. Get yourself over the the debt free wannabe board and they can help you with your finances. it doesnt matter how much debt you are in compared to others. 5k is a massive amount of money! I wish i had that much towards a newer car but its taken me almost a year to save up 2k so please dont think it isnt much. If you cant afford to lose it then it doesnt matter whether its 5k or 500k. it's all irrelevant where gambling is concerned

We can help to comfort you and offer you advice to stay off the gambling.
Firstly, well done for admitting you have a problem. Now you can work towards doing something about it. If you havent already, take an hour or so to read through this thread. You'll find lots of stories to relate to and if you find someone you dont think you are as bad as, that's where you're headed.

Great news about getting to the meeting on tuesday. You will be welcomed, given great advice and have no reason to feel nervous. Everyone there has had a first night too. Come back and tell us how your day has gone. Today is the start of the rest of your life. You can choose to make it a great one x

samorgo

Hi everyone - I have been really struggling this week - I think my finances are the worse they have ever been but I keep reminding myself that every day I don't gamble I am a day closer to paying off my debt for good - it doesn't make it easier to accept that this month's money is already spoken for but it gives me hope that things will get easier over the next few months....

Welcome Em, we all understand how you feel - the money worries, the frightening reality that you can never gamble again, the hope that you can change your life and the shame of what you have done and become... I am someone who has felt all of those feelings that you are experienceing and have only stopped gambling (again) recently (having fallen off the wagon). It is scary and difficult but it can be done as so many on here have proven... Good luck to you and I hope we can support each other.

Thanks as usual cantcope for such great support - I hope one day I can be as positive as you and be an inspiration to others...

All the best everyone x

cantcope

Hi Samorgo

Thanks for posting. Its a horrible feeling working all month and having nothing at the end of it. Are there any nik naks you can flog on ebay? or online surveys you havent done yet for vouchers?
I used to do all this even once i stopped gambling to give me a "treat". the off £10 boots voucher for toiletries and a face mask, anything i sold on ebay was treat money. I also swapped tesco vouchers for magazine subcriptions so i had a treat through the post at least once a month. I still do this now

Try to surround yourself with people this month. Get them around to yours or make a point of visiting friends or family you havent seen for a while because you were too busy gambling. Just a natter and a coffee can do wonders to distract you from being skint.

Em, how are you getting on?

samorgo

Thanks for the tips cantcope - i have been surveying and comping instead of gambling - and everyone keeps telling me I need to treat myself but I feel so guilty spending money I don't have so a free treat sounds great! I still feel really guilty for having got back in this mess (especially having done so well last time I stopped - I just keep telling myself that I needed to learn that I can never gamble again and so I will never gamble again)...

I'm hoping that a few hard weeks this month will lead to much better times for the rest of my future - I need to keep the bigger picture in mind...

This really is a rollercoaster I just hope one day it will come to a stop and I'll be able to get off

Thanks once again - I'm off to see what I can spend my vouchers on! x

Madone13

Evening Samorgo, sounds like you're doing well. I know just how you feel about looking at the month ahead and thinking that the money is already gone. I find its best to take just one day at a time and before you know it a week has passed. Where have you got your vouchers for? and have you decided what to spend them on?

I don't know if you have a quidco account but if you do there is an offer on there for a free trial with a website called audible where they give you a 14 day free trial on their service which allows you to listen to audio books. I've been listening to one for an hour or two in the evenings, and even better they give you £4.50 cashback for signing up to the offer.

Emma - how did your meeting go on Tuesday? As can'tcope said I've found that initially facing up to the facts is a major step forward so well done and welcome to the thread.

cantcope

Samorgo.

You must stop feeling guilty and move on. This is a new you now. You have an addiction why should you feel guilty for that when you've held your hands up and admitted it? You are making changes to ensure it doesnt happen again. I dont feel guilty. I didnt kill or main anyone! I spent too much money on gambling after becoming addicted.
This is becoming more and more common now as gambling is accessible 24 hours a day so you arent alone. You are however, one of the lucky ones that can get the support and advice to help you stop.
part of stopping successfully is learning to forgive yourself. It's not hard, just do it. Nobody says you have to put a time scale on it. Enjoy your treat whatever it is xx

samorgo

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling better this morning - I am trying to let go of the guilt and I am proud that I am making changes... I set the alarm and got up and ran this morning and it felt good - I hadn't stayed up all night gambling and I was able to take the first steps towards a new me...

I'm now off to do some chores around the house rather than lounging on the sofa all afternoon

cantcope

Great positive post. That's the way

Madone13

Hope everyone's having a good weekend, I'm still keeping up with the no gambling - but for some strange reason have been a bit tempted this weekend. I think its a combination of things, firstly February is going to be pretty tight for me - partly because I've maybe been a bit too aggresive with some debt repayments, partyly cause I spent more than I planned last week. I keep thinking that an extra £50 would see me comfortably to the end of the month. In realitly I do have just enough to see me to the end of the month so I'm being daft. I guess its nature of a gambler or ex-gambler in my case to want everthing now.

Secondly I that I'm beginning to get a bit complacent again, need to buck my ideas up a bit. Also I guess I was being very naive if I thought that the urge to have a bet wouldn't come back at some point. I know that I've got to keep going - and also how qucikly all my good work so far can be undone.

Samorgo - I hope you're staying positive and that you've had a good weekend. Keep us posted.

cantcope

Nice honest post Madone. This will NEVER go away. We can all get complacent at times. This might help....

I Am Addiction

I start in small subtle ways promising many things.

I promise you enjoyment and pleasure beyond your wildest dreams.

I deliver guilt & despair more horrible than your worst nightmare.

I promise you power & courage.

I give you feelings of powerlessness & hopelessness.

I will force you to live in fear always.

I promise you relief and escape from all your daily problems.

I create for you greater problems than you ever imagined.

I promise you many friends.

I allow you only isolation.

I promise happiness.

I create much sorrow.

I will steal from you your dignity, your families, your friends, your children, your homes, your demons, your spirit & your life, for love, freedom & happiness are impossible to find in my presence.

So never underestimate me,

I am devious and manipulating.

I have no preference as to who I pick as my victim, rich or poor, young or old, black, white, yellow or red.

I have no conscience.

So if you have met me, always be aware if you think you can beat me that I will be gone from your life and all will go well again.....Never forget that I will always be there, waiting in the dark shadows just around the corner.

I am very patient and I will laugh in your face if I can lure you into my evil world of hell on earth once again.

I am addiction.