ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Hi Samorgo.

Really sorry to hear you gambles over Christmas. However, you are back and ready to start again. Welcome
I got an i-phone for christmas which immediately made it spring into mind that i would possibly be able to gamble. I spoke to Orange and they have put a block on straight away for me. I dont want the temptation. I've been off a few years now but i am aware that on a bad day, and i've had a few lately, if temptation were there to easily gamble then chances are i would if i though nobody would know. Something i'd like to say i wouldnt do but experience and other peoples stories tell me i would

Well done on getting K9 on your new laptop, now get a block put on your phone xx

As for the burny lap, i still have faint white scars on my legs of where the heat burned them. Only i would notice them but its a constant reminder of how sad and out of control i became.
I'd rather be out of control on how many frozen grapes i eat (trying to rid the christmas jelly belly) at the moment rather than emptying out our savings account that we are so desperately trying to fill with a house deposit. Hubby still has a year of paying off debt so its a tough few years for us. Luckily i've been there, done it so i know it can be achieved.

Have a great, gamble free day everyone and again, welcome back Samorgo x

samorgo

Thanks for the welcome back. It's been over 24 hours now since I last gambled but I can't say it's been easy. I was convinced that 2012 was going to be my year - no more gambling and a healthier me but I already feel like a failure and I am doubting that I can do it...
I'm sure this is a form of depression - the feeling that I can't do anything and more importantly (and worringly) that I don't want to do anything. I am trying to change but I don't know if I can.
Positivity seemed so easy when I quit last time - I was determined that I would do it - but having failed I feel so hopeless...
I know I need to be tough on myself - wallowing in self pity isn't going to get me anywhere but I am struggling...

I need to keep telling myself that I can do this - just for today I will not gamble and I chose to do things that are good for me - good food choices, exercising, getting things done around the house. I just don't understand why all these choices are making me feel miseable. I know I need to accept these changes as positive steps towards a new life but at the moment they are just serving to remind me what a terrible person I have been.

If anyone can offer any advice on how to feel better I would really appreciate it...
All the best for the rest of today x

bigloser

Hi Samorgo, sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I'm sure someone with more experience will be along later but I didn't want to not reply.

I'm really not qualified to give you any proper advice, but I just wanted to say good luck and - hard as it is to believe just now - if you can get through the early days it DOES get easier. I think about gambling less and less nowadays, and I have gone from being someone who stayed up all night gambling (then self-harming because I'd lost the money) to someone who is now working very hard to repay my debts. I am 99.99999% sure I will never gamble again; life is just sooo much better without.

Maybe you're trying to do too much too soon - giving up gambling AND exercising AND eating well AND sorting the house? But on the other hand you do need to keep busy to stave off those urges. I can only speak from my own experience, but personally I needed something WHICH I ENJOYED (ie not cooking or cleaning!) to occupy myself.

So I set up a 'debt-free diary' on this forum and now spend far too much time posting, chatting and giggling on there. I use a different username so I never have to use the 'G' word - no-one knows about my past problem, only about my debts. I am now focussing on money-saving, not money-squandering.

I really wish you well and will keep following your progress.
x

samorgo

Thanks bigloser. I do know deep down that life will be so much better without gambling but it is really hard at the moment - I have had that period of hope (when I gave up gambling the first time around) and to have taken so many steps back has hit me hard...

This afternoon I have spent time compiling a notebook of positive affirmations and mantras that I am going to carry around everywhere with me in the hope that if I keep telling myself that I can and that it is worth it that I will achieve the best life I can for myself. These are small steps at the beginning of a long journey but I will get there...
Sorry if that sounds soppy but if it works for others I'm hoping it can work for me!

Thanks so much once again x

bigloser

No it doesn't sound soppy!

The day I stopped for good (there had been several failed attempts before this one) a mantra just popped into my head all of its own accord and is still there - 'I am finally the person my family think I am'. I like that one; feel free to adapt and use it x

cantcope

Hi Samorgo.

Please dont feel like a failure. You are anything but.You are someone that has admitted they have a problem and are doing something about it. Just make sure the blocks are in place everywhere this time and tell yourself you will do it this time. Don't hope, or try, or might be able to...just tell yourself you will.... hoping and trying didnt get many of us very far with the quitting gambling so now i just say i will not gamble. works for me.

Bigloser is right, you may be doing a bit too much in the way of giving things up. ease off one of them for a while. I tried to quit smoking so many times in the first few years off but always felt like i'd given up EVERYTHING i enjoyed. I was never going to succeed with that attitude. I've been off the cigs for 15 months now and i wont ever smoke again. (thats how i feel today anyway). Why would i when it took so much time and effort to quit.

Have a great bet free evening everyone x

samorgo

Hi all,

My soppy book is starting to work - although I still feel anxious about the future I am starting to believe that I can do it - I will change my life around and change it for the better.
I will stop gambling - I am almost at the end of my first whole day of not gambling and I feel good about it - not great as I have been so tempted but good that I haven't (thanks to the blocks!)...

I recognise that making such big changes all at the same time is going to be hard work but I feel I am at a point in my life where I need to make these changes - I don't want to substitute one addiction for another and my fear is if I don't take control of my diet alongside the gambling I will balloon even further... The exercise thing is part of recovery too - I am replacing time gambling with time exercising...

I'm feeling that the next three days should be easier as I am back to work tomorrow and there is nothing to take the mind off gambling than 12 hour shifts! Whilst I have used gambling in the past as a way of coping with work (I don't like my job) I am going to turn it around and use work as a distraction away from gambling and a way of paying off all the debt I have created in my past life.

I will do it this time - I will beat the addiction and although it's one day at a time I will never gamble again - I want a new life - the life I (and my family) deserve.

Thanks and good luck x

cantcope

Nice one Samorgo. Definitely time to look for a new job too! While you are in a good frame of mind its the best time for interviews

samorgo

Hi everyone,

I'm really struggling - I know that I don't want to gamble but I feel as though I need to - in order to try and win some of the money back...
Luckily my rational head is saying don't be stupid - by not gambling I won't help the cash crisis but I recognise that if I were to gamble I'd probably just make it worse...

Just for today I will not gamble...

samorgo

Well I made it through another day without gambling and although the urge is still there I'm feeling better for having found the strength not to do it for the past few days hopefully it will stay to get easier now I've proven to myself that I do have the willpower and determination...
Just for today I will not gamble x