ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Like i said only you can decide. A lot of GA rooms also have a gamanon meeting (for partners/parents/friends) If your wife decides she wants it these meetings will offer her advice and support too as you aren't the only one that will be dealing with this so she needs it as much as you do.

My meeting takes up one evening a week between 7 and 10. 3 hours a week. i used to spend about 70 hours a week gambling so it seems a very small sacrifice to make for a brilliant life.

let us all know how you get on and what you decide to do. I'm sure some others will pop by soon to offer advice and support too x

cantcope

Hi Geordie,

have you put any of the blocks in place? Ga meetings? hand finances over to someone else? blocks on computers/phones if needed?
Without these you arent giving yourself a fair chance. x

Oh_Dear

Yes indeed Cantcope. Everything is in place again, like it always should be. CCCs have put me on an amended DMP for a few months. I didnt post at the time I gambled because I wanted to get myself back on track first. It was really a "slip" and since doing it I havnt had either an urge or desire to return.

I am just so thankfull that I have k9 on my laptop. The gambling I done was in the bookies if it had of been online I probably would of ended up in a much worse predicament.

I know the post about getting around K9 has now been removed and rightly so, but for what its worth I can tell you about somebody who goes to my meeting. (Not GA, a meeting for ex GH residents). He didnt have the password for his K9 but attempted to uninstall via a password crack and doing things in his computer registery. (He works in I.T. so knows what he's doing). His internet access was blocked completely until he got his wife who knew the password to contact K9 from the email adress the licence was sent to.

I think for me K9 has been a life saver!

Cheers.

Geordie.

cantcope

thats good to know Geordie. Glad you are back on track x i was so mad when that post went on here grrrrrrrrrrr. glad its gone though and hope OP comes back and posts. x

Madone13

Hi Brenster - welcome to the thread, I can relate strongly to alot of what you said. Especially not enjoying uni nearly as much as I should have done. I don't have too much to add to what Can'tcope has said but can certainly say I agree with what she's said. A couple of pages back theres a couple of very brutal posts from Cantcope and Oh Dear which are definitely worth reading. Whilst being pretty savage they also show how there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Geordie - sorry to hear you had a bet at the end of Jan but we've all been there - I think the most important thing is that you've got straight back on the wagon and are concentrating on getting things back on track. I know this can be the hardest thing so thumbs up from me!

Today is 2 months since my last bet - I'm pleased that I've got this far but am still worried about my ability to stay to course. I've got this far so can keep going. A mistake I've made this month has being too aggresive with the amount I've tried to pay off this month. I'll get through to the end of the month but things have been tight and enough to worry me. I think that for next month at least I'll be better off paying off a bit less any not having to count the pennies quite so much. This is a bit of a disappointment for me but I think that beating this addiction and dealing with me debts whilst being very much linked are not one and the same thing and I know right now which one has to be the priority.

cantcope

2 months! That's great Madone.
You must pay off your debt at a rate you can comfortably afford. I paid mine off very quickly but i was able to move back to my parents. Trust me this is NOT something i ever wanted to or want to do again. It was a complete NIGHTMARE!!!

Anything you can flog on ebay this week just to give you £20 to get by? old mobile lying around? bit of old jewellery?

cantcope

Try not to time it by your debts being gone. In time you will realise this is the least important part of your gambling problem.
My debt was cleared years ago but that in no way means i can gamble again and i still have the blocks in place and go to my meetings.
Everyone i am close to knows i have no control which takes away the invites to the dogs, casino, bingo, raffle, sweepstakes etc... it helps me by others knowing.

Have you told your wife yet Brenster? Well done on 2 days x

cantcope

you dont have to follow my advice. Was just wondering.
Have you arranged to go to a meeting?

I ask because without doing these things nothing has changed since the last time you slipped. If nothing is different then there is no reason you would stay off this time. Especially once your debt has gone.

with access to money, nobody watching you, and nothing in your life changing i'm afraid to say you WILL gamble. maybe not this month or next but you will. I've seen it hundreds of times over the last 6 years.

As my previous post, how much do you want to stop? I believe if you really wanted to stop you would be doing these things to ensure you dont do it again. The fact that you aren't speaks volumes to me. You tried to stop on your own before, it didnt work unfortunately

Perhaps someone else can offer some advice? It's difficult for me to offer advice on telling partners as i didnt have to do it. I can only share what i've seen. There may be some people on here who have kept it a secret from their partners and never gambled again.

Telling your wife wont cause the problem. You gambling again caused the problem and lying about it is causing more for the future.

I'm sorry this isnt what you want to hear but i dont know what else to advise. Lies about gambling NEVER fixed anything in my experience

cantcope

How's everyone doing?

Madone13

Hi Can'tcope - things still going ok for me, pretty busy weekend and not ready for work next week!! Hows things for you?