ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

samorgo

Morning cantcope - I thought I had better keep the password in case I ever need to have administrator priviledges but I'm guessing I never will... I recognise that the advice offered on here is invaluable given that it is provided with those who've been there done that so...

I have just opened the tin and burnt the password. No way back to the password and no way back to gambling. I was just going to put it in the bin but then I thought if the temptation is so great I might be tempted to get it back out before the rubbish is collected a week on Monday. This way it's now ash...

I am desperate to put this right so I'm willing to follow any advice given.
I'm still feeling strong today - I'm not tempted to gamble but I am anxious about the (lack of) money but I'm guessing this is going to be the case for the next few months until I start building up the funds in the overdraft again and I start to feel financially secure again. This is a long road but I've already managed one step down that path towards a brighter future!

Thanks once again for the advice x

cantcope

well done xxx i'm sure that was really difficult to do and you should be doubly pleased with yourself... administrator access? only reason you'd need that is if you are gonna gamble. i've had k9 for 3 years now and never needed the password.

you can have a great life without gambling. think of your friends and family. do they need to gamble to have a good life? i doubt it. all it has brought you is pain and misery. you are worth so much more than that. feel free and start to live your life afresh. you can clear your debt in your own time, whatever is manageable. Dont make it too tough on yourself as you dont need the pressure.

you might not have seen this....i TRY (and i mean try as i dont always manage it) to live by this.... (i'm in no way religious by the way)

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and wisdom to know the difference.

i was also told this by a friend....90% of the things we worry about never happen

have a great day xx mine is poop. just got a £120 parking ticket... from whats been posted on mse about tickets though i might not be paying it

samorgo

Thanks for the support... And shame about your ticket cc

this is now day three without gambling and I'm feeling much better knowing that it simply isn't possible for me to access those sites. I can't believe I didn't block them earlier (yet more denial no doubt!) but I suppose better late than never hey?

For anyone lurking who's in the same position as I was - thinking that you can't put a block on as you haven't got anyone to set the password create a completely random one and then destroy it while your feeling strong - its probably the best thing I've done since recognizing my problem...

Keep strong everyone another day is almost over...
Good luck to you all x

samorgo

I 've been feeling tempted today and just know if the block wasnt in place I would have been on trying to win some money back to try and make this month easier...
No need to worry though I'm now in work on overtime and won't be home til tomorrow by which time I'm hoping this feeling will have passed. I honestly didn't believe that I would get these urges having decided that enough is enough and I don't want to do this to myself anymore just so pleased my computer is completely blocked!
Hope you are all still feeling strong
Best wishes x

shaza1982

Hi everyone. tbh i don't really know how to start. basically i feel like my life is falling apart. i am addicted to playing blackjack. i am in about £12000 debt (some due to gambling). it's the first of the month in 2 days and i literally have NO money in my acc to cover bills as i spent over £800 in the casino over the weekend. i lie to my partner about gambling as i promised i would stop months ago and of course i didn't. i am feeling soooo guilty and know that i HAVE to stop! atm i am not wanting to go to the casino as i am so stressed, but i know in a few weeks when i get paid and have extra cash i will feel the need to go. i am so scared of losing my partner and know he will leave me if he finds out how bad this situation is. i have cried constantly for the past 2 days and when he questions me i try make other excuses for being so down. i'm not expecting sympathy coz i know this is ALL my fault and i should be more responsible. it sounds so pathetic but i feel so comfortable when i go to the casino. everyone knows me (dealers & other gamblers). it's almost like another family i have lol. it's so much part of my life as i go about 3 or 4 times a week. i feel like i can escape all my other issues when i am there but then i lose and have to deal with the guilt of doing it AGAIN! a few friends know how bad the situation is but none of them are gamblers and when i am trying to explain the feelings i get when gambling they look at me as if i am crazy and don't get why i continue to go when it causes so much stress! i've read some of the other posts and it's made me feel slightly better as i know i'm not the only one out there with a problem even though i feel so alone right now! basically i just need somewhere where i can talk to other people who get me and of course don't judge me!

samorgo

Survived yesterday and the feelings have passed thank goodness! This really is a battle that has to be fought a day at a time...

Now four days clear...
Keep fighting on it must be worth it x

samorgo

Welcome shaza - you now have another family here and i hope we can be more beneficial and positive for you than your casino family.
I've found this forum to be so helpful - there are plenty of people here who understand exactly how you are feeling... I'm so pleased you've found us x
I absolutely understand how your feeling about the guilt (just have a look at some of my previous posts!) and I never thought anyone could understand how much of an emotional roller coaster gambling is until I met others on here - I hope finding people who have had similar experiences will help. I know I find comfort in knowing that I'm not alone feeling the way I do.
I will warn you that this is not easy I have moments where I'm convinced that I've beaten this addiction and then i lapse again so be prepared for some tough times but remember why you are trying and how good life will be without gambling.
Having lapsed and lost a lot of money again recently I'm finding the temptation to give it one more go to try and get some of the money back really hard to fight and I know (much like you) that when I get paid again il be tempted to risk some of that money on trying to clear the mountain of debt I've created but I'm trying to remain rational and keep telling myself nothing good will come from gambling and it will only make my problems worse.
while I totally understand your feelings I can't really advise about how to avoid casinos as I'm an online gambler but I'm sure others will be able to offer some really good practical advice.
I do suggest searching online for gamblers anon and gamcare as there is help out there. their methods are different but there should be something that suits you.
I wish you all the best and look forward to following your "journey" away from the casino and to a happier debt free future. X

shaza1982

Hi samorgo. thanx for the reply i am so happy to have found this forum! it is great to know there are others in the same position. I know that over the next few weeks i am gonna have some really tough days as i am trying to break the habit of going to the casino. thank god i never got into online gambling as i am sure it is so much harder to avoid gambling as you can do it any time. i think all i can do is take one day at a time. i am going to get in touch with gamblers anon as i don't think i have the strength to fight this on my own anymore. i just want to say thanks for being so honest about your situation and feelings etc, as it really gives me hope that i can also change things in my life even though it will be tough and take time to get out of this mess. take care x

misskaytee

Hi Shaza :wave:

Like samorgo im an online gambler, so im not really sure how you would go about stopping yourself in the same way that we do.
We have blocks on our PCs that wont let us access gambling sites.

Who do you live with? your partner, parents?
I would suggest that you have an heart to heart with the person you live with, that way you can really get the help you need.

It wont be easy, but its best to come clean. They can the at least help you stay away from gambling, and take control over your finances for a while, even if its just over seeing you paying your bills on time.
whatevers left over could be given to you as and when you need it.

The casino staff are paid to be pleased to see you and be friendly, The other gamblers are just relived to see you there as often as they are, the more they see you there, the more they can justify themselves being there, and likewise~ Misery loves company!

I dont think anyone can understand gamblers, except other gamblers.
The way we gamble doesn't make sense to us sometimes so how is anyone else expected to understand.

Keep posting away on here, and work out a plan to stop yourself, only you can stop yourself.

Samorgo, congratulations on day 4 :T stay strong.

cantcope

Hi Shaza

welcome to the thread. I too was an online gambler but have been clean of a bet for almost 5 years. Sharing really does help. I go to GA too and have a wide support network around me of people that understand how i felt, why i did it, and why i couldnt stop on my own. This thread is a big part of that. While i love to read stories of people stopping and how their lives are changing, every now and again someone like yourself posts and reminds me of exactly how i would feel if i did it again. Sometimes thats just enough to stop me. I've had a block on my pc since 19th May 06. the first 2 years i used gamblock but found this messed up my laptop a bit so i found K9. It's free and works just as well.

My first bits of advice? load it onto your computer, tell you parents or partner and hand over control of your money to someone you can trust xx

You've done really well just posting and getting it out. Thats a hard thing to do. Keep posting, good and bad things.

have a good bet free evening everyone xx