This is the new me!!!

chocaholic110

Sea78 wrote: »

He went out to his mum's last night just before kids bedtime (nice timing) saying he'd be back shortly and got home 6.30am this morning. I honestly don't care, but really don't understand why he thinks he wants the kids 50% of the time when he barely sees them?

Could be that I'm very cynical, but could it be for the tax credits?

System

Hiya Sea, hope things work out. Len x

taxi73

Stand your ground Sea as he probably has some reasoning behind what he's doing.Don't let him claim as he won't have the kids 50% of the time as you already know.I'd see a solicitor ASAP and get things straight so you know where you stand.
I know you can do this as you are really strong and you know that it's the right thing for you and the kids.
Be careful going away for the weekend without the kids as I don't trust him...
He may change the locks and pretend you've left him....I don't want to worry you this is why you need to see a solicitor.It's a strange thing that he says about having the kids 50% of the time and to claim tax credits....something sounds strange...
Sorry if I've worried you but am only trying to protect your interests.Take care xx

chocaholic110

taxi73 wrote: »

Be careful going away for the weekend without the kids as I don't trust him...
He may change the locks and pretend you've left him....I don't want to worry you this is why you need to see a solicitor.It's a strange thing that he says about having the kids 50% of the time and to claim tax credits....something sounds strange...
Sorry if I've worried you but am only trying to protect your interests.Take care xx

Got to admit, in your situation, I wouldn't be happy about leaving him with the kids for the weekend either. Sorry

Sea78

I've got an appointment next week with the solicitor - my one is on holiday this week.

I'll have a think about this weekend, perhaps I'll just go for the day - I can't be kept prisoner in the house!

Did my first proper mse shop earlier and my goodness, I can do this!! Got loads of food, and washing powder etc for just £15 so feeling quite good. Really thought about things I was buying and also must find a cheaper alternative to eggs - I can not buy caged eggs again, I just can't do it!!

hypno06

You are right - you CAN do this......you just need to make the decision to do it and then take it forward!

taxi73

I agree with Hypno ..well done on the shop.

PigginSkint

Hi Sea

I have just read through your thread and just had to post. I have been through the exact same thing - and survived I might add! It was the absolute worst time of my life but I did get through it.

I am glad to see that you are going to see a solicitor - I would have told you to do that pronto if you hadn't already said that you were doing it. Especially as you say your Ex-OH has already got one.

To summarise what happened with me - 6 years ago the ex and I decided to split up (my decision really). We decided that I would stay in the house for the simple reason that he could afford to buy another house and I couldn't - on my salary at the time I could just about afford to take on the mortgage on the house we were living in on my own. He wouldn't move out until the legal stuff was sorted - separation agreement and transfer of equity. So we were separated but living in the same house for 16 months! :eek: 16 months of sleeping on the sofa is a bit much I can tell you! My next door neighbour is amazed I didn't crack and take a carving knife to him!

I would definitely recommend getting a separation agreement sorted - I am sure your solicitor will advise this anyway. And definitely go for a clean break financially. I am so glad now that I did this as I dread to think how much I would have had to pay the Ex if I hadn't!

Oh, and don't trust your OH as far as you can throw him! I learnt that one to my cost!!

I guess what I am saying is that I have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt so if you want any advice at all, just let me know! Just PM me if you want any details!!

Have a dodgy hug because I think you definitely need it:grouphug:

Love Piggin xxx

taxi73

Just popping by to see how you are?..hope you're ok.

Sea78

Hi all

PigginSkint - thanks for that - I have realised I can't trust him at all - he 'popped' out to take some bags to the tip and ended up having tea at his mum's so yet again, I'm putting the kids to bed and he is off out. He's refusing to look after the kids this weekend as he thinks I'm up to allsorts, and doesn't understand that I might want a break from the kids, and then on the other hand, saying he's thinking about going for the house and full custody (oh, yeah, gimme a bloody break, like any court int he land will allow that!!). I said that I thought it was really sad that this was turning nasty and I thought we were better than this, so hopefully some of that will sink in. I just can't wait til weds when I see the sol and see if I can't get him out in some way. This is just awful. He watches my every move, checks the phone when he comes home etc. It's doing my head in!!!

NSD though, so that's a good thing

Sea xxxx