Sammieb's 'taking control diary'

lucielle

Happy Christmas to you, your OH and your new arrival.
L

sammiebmouse

hello all!!

Happy 2009!:beer:

Lucielle, thank you for your christmas wishes, I hope you and the family had a lovely Christmas and New year!:D

Well 2009 hasnt started with a bang, was supposed to be all motivated and refreshed but have had some setbacks with being sick etc,and dont have any money to save or be sensible with:o , though im sure thats how many are, after the Christmas and New year period!:rolleyes:

OH is still at his job, though with the credit crunch etc his boss is now trying to decrease his wages to 18k, down from 20k +bonuses. There is no earthly way we can afford for this, especially as the company I work for have let 20people go (out of 36 employees) so once May comes, there may not be a position for me to return to..

OH wants to leave London asap as we will not be able to afford to stay once my maternity pay stops, so he wants to go now, up to his mums, which is really remote, and stay in his mums flat at a cost of £450 pcm, but neither of us would have a job.
However,I want to stay until May when I will inform my work that I intend to return( even though I have no intention), and if there isnt a position, they will have to give me three months salary, or if there is a position, then I would return to work and OH would take care of her, as I earn £28000.

We have been arguing alot over it, and I cant see us being able to find a resolution.

Also I feel a little resentful as I gave everything up for my ex, and after we broke up I had to start all over again,.I've just got settled here and made some good friends, which I've struggled to do in the past. I feel like Im the one who has to compromise,although I know that people have to make sacrifices when they have kids, I just would like to feel that my happiness is important too, and I dont want to have to start again.

Also, throughoput my pregnancy I tried to get prepared and take some pressure off us, and was being more sensible with my money and paid off my credit card with 2700.00, and I was always asking him to pay his, and he didnt bother. He used to laugh at me being on the website and doing little things like switching off the tv,but now he's starting to panic.

Anyway, we are tryin to get sorted so hopefully we will reach an agreement sooner or later.

I've got to go, need to make bottles and sort items for ebay and research wtc and ctc.

Never a dull minute!

Take care all xxx

pixiechick99

Hi there Sammie,
Just wanted to say a big CONGRATULATIONS on becoming a mummy....fab news!!
Just read all of your thread and you've done sooo well paying off what you have and I hope everything gets sorted out re OH's job. I'm sure you'll find some motivation again soon, but in the meantime enjoy your little one and make sure you look after yourself too;) Such a lovely time, the first few months tho...and they go quick so enjoy:D

sammiebmouse

hello all-happy sunday

just popping on while lo has a quick snooze.
Dont know where the days are disappearing to, lo is 6wks now!:eek:

I feel like im living like that film groundhog day, just the same day over and over and never seem to get anything done!

Have to register lo and us at docs as we moved during my pregnancy but I stayed at my old surgery for convenience but need to get it done asap as lo needs her 6wk check. I have mine on tues-as had 3rd degree tear in labour-so hope all is ok-though think I'll need restitch.

Have sorted the child benefit and got her registered.still need to find out if we are entitled to working tax or child tax credits. might try get in on tues when oh is off aswell, though think I need to make appointment in advance.

Credit card is paid off at last-need to call on monday to cancel as they have FINALLY transferred the money that was overpaid back to my current account so no excuses(and no more credit cards for me!!:mad: )

OH is still having a really tough time with his boss and work-he had his day off on thurs and his boss called,they were arguing for half hr, at which point we (me and lo) were sat there in a layby. His boss was swearing at him etc and really running him down, OH was trying to sort few issues and arrogant boss told him he didnt want to hear it etc (sooo unprofessional!) then boss's wife came on phone while my OH was speaking and hung up on him!!!??

I lost it, I grabbed phone from OH,rang her back anfd calmly tld her that I had sat and listened to her hubby swear etc to my OH for the last half hr, and no matter how many times I advised OH to terminate call as he didnt have to take that abuse, my OH had manners and didnt do so. I advised her 'dont EVER hang up on him again' and I hung up on her!!!?!!:eek:

Its so not like me, totally out of character but I had just had enough.
It was my OH's bday a few wks back and he literally spent the whole night in the loo with really bad tummy, he was weak as a kitten and couldnt help me with lo (I was sick too, as was she--though not nearly as bad as him!!), and I had to feed lo-then drive to chemist at 09.00am to get him immodium.
He wanted to go into work but I told him no way was he riding the bike (he couldnt even hold LO), so he arrange cover (he is manager), and I told him I would drop him to work once health visitor had left.
In the meantime his boss called and left a mesage on his vmail saying he better get in, that it was not on, that he had bet with the lads that my OH would not be in as was his bday and he knew he would be out drinking!!??
My oh has not drank for the length of my pregnancy to support me not being able to have any-and as I am on anti-biotics he still hasnt as I cant.
Anyway...its just all built up now-and I didnt realise how bad it was for him, and its really affecting him so we have decided to leave at end of feb.
We are going to his homeplace, near his mums but rent a place and he will get a job there. Its not ideal as really I dont want to have all this upheaval but have a little family now and they are my priority.

So there wont be any moneysaving over the next two months, we have deposits and agency fees to pay, and the place is unfurnished so will need stuff as this place came furnished. We literally own lo's crib and the TV!!

Am on freecycle but no-1 likes meeee:rotfl: So will have to keep an eye out for 2nd hand furniture and OH's mum trying to get us a sofa etc.

Will be poor for awhile but happy!

Anyway, going to update my signature now as havent done it in ages, and the amounts have decreased a little! can also take off my flaming cred card-:j

Hope everyone is well

Take care all xxx

sammiebmouse

hello all,

Hope everyone is well!

We spent the last few days at OH's mums, where he was handing out his cv and trying to find work. Its not looking good at the moment, but im keeping my fingers and toes crossed that something will come up

We have to be out by the end of feb, so we're trying to get all our belongings sorted and packed as much as we can. We tidied out the loft space and decided to ebay some stuff we had, and gave away bits to the charity shop. So far our ebay items have reached £600!!:eek: , some of the payments are on hold as they are over a certain amount, so the funds wont be released until they have been delivered and positive feedback has been left. We posted the items yesterday and it cost £40, so with paypal charges and ebay paid we should come away with £500, not bad for a load of rubbish ey:D

It would be lovely to pay that off something but OH has decided to try start a little business, because he used to do airbrushing, and it can cost anything from £300-£500 for a motorbike helmet, so he wants to do this. Hopefully he can really make a go of it, he has three requests already, he just needs to buy all the (expensive) equipment.:rolleyes:

House hunting isnt going well as no-one wants to rent to us until OH has a job (which is understandable) but means he is under alot of pressure. OH's mum owns a local shop and there is a flat above it which they rent out, there is no-1 in it atm and they said we can move there (at a cost of £450pcm and the usual bills on top), but we went to view it yesterday and I nearly cried. Its like a cave, no natural sunlight except for one window in what would be, our bedroom. Wooden windows, no double glazing, no heating, except two electric teeny heaters, no washing machine?, and no shower, just a bath!!
I know I probably sound so ungrateful but we viewed a 2bed house, with double glazing,fitted kitchen, little garden and double glazing and they wanted £500pcm-but we can only have it if OH gets a job.
I can see myself getting really depressed if we end up there,me and lo would be there 24/7 and its not as if I could pop round to a friends to get out for a bit because I wont know anyone:(

On a more positive note,I have approx £80.00 in Quidco and £10.00 on pigsback:T
I have loaddds of birthdays this month, but I got them all sorted at alot less, so I'm happy:j
My 6yr old nephew-gave him 10euro that we hadnt spent when home at christmas.
My 10yr old niece: we bought her a hannah montana cube that displays digital pictures, we bought it at xmas but didnt have time to add any images so we kept it for her birthday
My cousin: She is 26, has loads of money so didnt know what to buy her!Went on beauty counter direct and bought two benefit eyeshadows for 15.00, and they are normally 15each!!
My best friend: Wanted to get her something lovely as she spent over £500 on stuff for me and lo when lo was born:eek: :eek: .Though obviously now lo is here I cant spend loads on her, so got her trainers from OH's work-they were 80, on sale 60 and with OH's discount got them for £36.00, they are proper Nike running shoes which I know she will love, also ordered her make-up from Beauty Counter Direct-a set which should have been £40.00, got it for £10.00, plus they were doing an offer on the same brand mascara,normally £14.99, but with a magazine code (which I got on here!), it was free, so I wil add it to her other make-up (which she LOVES), and also got a gorgeous frame so going to pop a picture of her and me into it, really hope she likes it, and it didnt cost me the earth (though she wont think that;) )

Me and lo are stuck in today as snow was so bad here, that oh has taken car. There is NO food in, no milk bread etc, so got to wait for oh to come home as cant leave lo and cant go to shops with her, as pram is in car and the paths are like ice so cant carry her myself:rolleyes: . Going to go see if I can find something as I'm starving now!

Got loads to do today, pay rent, c tax, check online statement, more items on ebay, cleaning, washing, sorting more clothes in bedroom.clean bathroom. tweak oh's cv.look for accommodation and jobs...Oh! and look after gorgeous dd!:rotfl:

Hope everyones well, and having productive days!!

Take care xx

lucielle

You are still sounding upbeat despite all the problems you have. Can OH still job hunt as well as set up his business? My OH works fulltime and he has a part time business which he is slowly building up. He would love to do it full time but it doesn't pay as much as his other job.
L

sammiebmouse

Hi All,

Hows everyone surviving this weather we are having??:rolleyes:

Me and lo have been indoors all week as OH has needed the car, and the paths are leathal so cant go out, (plus its too chilly for DD):eek:

Had my first night out since lo arrived on Fri, wasnt very moneysaving as spent £70.00:o , but had a very good time

Im meeting one of the girls tonight for a farewell dinner,we're going to pizza express and i've asked OH to print out some vouchers (theyare doing a £10.00 deal), so we are doing it on the cheap!

Went to Asda today as we needed some food and baby formula-ended up spending £120.00??!!ooops! wasnt so bad though, bought a box of baby wipes for £10.00, they are usually nearly 2.50 so saved a fiver, they were cheap as they are having a baby event at the moment. Also bought bubs a little baby gym as was on special at 15.00 and we dont really have any toys or anything bright for her-she LOVED it, bless her, she's spent the afternoon laughing and talking to it :rotfl: def worth it, and gave me a bit of time to get few bits tidied.

I also bought some valentines bits for my OH, we will be staying in, and I'll cook, but bought some silly bits, as have neglected him a little since bubs arrived.

Still no news on the job front. OH is looking and I've been searching and sending his cv.
Lucielle, re your question, the business he intends to start up will only be for days off -he needs a full time job to pay the bills and me and lo need security and our own little place. (Nothing big as we are only in a 1bed now but need our own space and to not be on top of his mum, or paying the mortgage on there flat when we could have somewhere warmer and comfier!

We still popping bits on ebay to sell-clothes selling for £3.00 (on items with labels still on!) I have GOT to stop buying impulse purchases or at least keep receipts and bring them back instead of leaving them in my wardrobe!)

Anyway, best get ready, got to put on a wash, tidy kitchen, wash delph, make bottles, dress bed and put on OH's dinner, then get myself and my hair sorted-all in the next hour!

Take care all! xx

sammiebmouse

Hi all,

Well I'm back (kind of!)

We moved at end of february and have not had our internet connected yet so am currently on OH's mums laptop.

OH left his job as we were relocating, it wasnt an option to stay there and commute as it was too far away. His employer was messing him about with wages etc so OH gave notice and advised he was leaving because of problems with payment etc. He is still looking for work, nothing has come up yet.

We moved into a 2bed private rented which has a 6month lease, and are on the council list but are deemed 'low need'.

We have had to furnish the whole house with our last months wages and that money is now gone.

I have my maternity pay until 18th may then nothing.
I am soo stressed:eek:
I am trying to deal with it all and just get on with it but its tough.

I called this morning to try get help with LHA and even though OH has no work, we are deemed to be earning too much in the household on my wages.

The thing is we will be short approx £340.00 this month. I dont know what to do.

Our new budget looks like this
Rent £630.00 (normally £500 but because we moved in a week early we have to pay £130 on top)
electricity £80.00-this is worked out at an estimate, we have a card to pay on each month.
Loans Me- £330.00
Mobile Me -£70.00 I will dramatically decrease this next month (line rental is 40.00-I might call o2 to ask them to drop to lowest tariff if poss)
Mobile OH-£50.00-This is for his contract with orange, he had bought an iphone for himself before xmas for £385. and let it fall down toilet. As it wasnt his contract phone it wasnt insured so he then wen ahead and opened a new contract with 02 so he could get a new iphone:eek: I could cry just thinking about it,I had iphone but its because its contract. I might actually sell it an try buy normal handset to bring in some money.
Food £200- I will decrease this, I will make a list, and go shopping without OH -who likes his brand food and always sees something he 'needs'. He can take care of lo while i go so i have time to find the cheap options.
Petrol £60.00-not sure if this is realistic as we are now in a remote area and have to drive everywhere but needed to have a figure.
Water rates £40.00
Council tax £130.00
TV license £11.60
Car insurance £36.00
Bike insurance £37.00
OH's loans £280.00
BT £20.00
OH's 02 contract £40.00
OH's credit cards £20.00 (minimum payments)

So think that comes to £2035.00 and my wages are £1700.

We are selling bits on ebay, Im going to do a car boot on sunday selling some of lo's bits.

Really hope we will be ok

lucielle

Can you post a proper SOA and see if we can find any savings? Try not to get too stressed, easier said than done.
L

sammiebmouse

hi lucielle, i've got serious baby brain and cant recall how to do a soa?
doesnt help that lo is sittng on my lap refusing to take her bottle and just giving out instead.

OH has gone to do a few hrs at his mums shop, minimum wage but better than nothing.

OHs parents are really trying to help out but are not in the position to.

They gave us a fridge freezer and washing machine that they bought 2nd hand, however wm isnt working, so im going to have to do some hand washing. never done before but needs must!