Housing for pregnant 17 year old

SquatNow

Fully expect to get flamed for this, and it may already have been mentioned (I haven't read the whole thread) but have they considered abortion, or even adoption? They clearly arn't ready emotionaly and financially, and it would better to wait until they were ready and actively wanted children, so they could give any child the best possible start in the world.

Bringing a child up under the circumstances they are facing, no matter how hard they may try, will leave the child at a disadvantage.

Even in the best case scenario, where the father acually sticks around and gets a job and the council house them, it was an unplanned and unwanted pregancy... during troubling economic times. This isn't an desirable situation for a child to be brought up in.

Snooze

SquatNow wrote: »

Fully expect to get flamed for this, and it may already have been mentioned (I haven't read the whole thread) but have they considered abortion, or even adoption? They clearly arn't ready emotionaly and financially, and it would better to wait until they were ready and actively wanted children, so they could give any child the best possible start in the world.

Bringing a child up under the circumstances they are facing, no matter how hard they may try, will leave the child at a disadvantage.

Even in the best case scenario, where the father acually sticks around and gets a job and the council house them, it was an unplanned and unwanted pregancy... during troubling economic times. This isn't an desirable situation for a child to be brought up in.

I said pretty much the exact same thing on page 1 or 2 of this thread and 3 days later am still recovering from the beating I got. :eek:

Too many do-gooder's on these boards. She should just get shut of it and all the problems will be over. People are too wrapped up in their own morals and !!!!!! instead of just waking up to reality and doing the right thing for the kid.

It'll have an ASBO before it's even into double figures.

Rob

SingleSue

That is not always true though.

My friend (and yes really a friend not me pretending to have one with problems :rotfl: ) got pregnant at 17 and the father cleared off never to be seen again.

Initially she stayed at home to look after her daughter but after a while she returned to education, got a degree (which everyone said she was too stupid for) and finally became a social worker.

Her daughter has never been in trouble with the police and now at the age of 23, is married with one child and in full time employment after gaining high grade GCSE's and A Levels.

Yes, some who come from non standard upbringings can be the crime figures of the future but it doesn't always follow, just like those who come from 'good' backgrounds don't always become the goody goody ones of the future.

barnaby-bear

Premier wrote: »

Don't you think earning £70k per year for part time work is not 'huge'?

How about those earning in excess of £1million per year for full time work? (yes all companies/self employed have overheads to pay), but this is the true reflection of what they charge. Is that not a huge fee?

It's all a far cry from the initial £46 including travel costs and before deductions for 12.5 hours work (including 3 hours travel travel) that you originally implied.

I think the point is she is only earning the higher level of salary NOW
a) because she has qualifications and experience
b) she was willing to take the training positions and entry level position for a while, when she would have been better off on the dole with housing costs...

Also self-employment is like waiting for a bus - I could probably bring in £100-200 p/h in my field but I wouldn't be guaranteed work, wouldn't get it full time and would be offered 7 jobs at once and then none for months and the uncertainty, unknown length of fallow times and overheads would f&ck with my head... so I earn a fraction of that for the security...


To be fair if anyone is genuinely envious of someone else's benefit claiming ability or earnings they should really be explaining why it's such an easy road why they didn't take it... Dole-dad is not a choice I would make as it's short-sighted but I can't really criticise this lady because if I really wanted I could have got off my bum, racked up some student debt and taken the risk of self-employment... I can use google I can assess the cost/rewards of jobs - besides I'm guessing she contributes more tax than she claims so I'm not paying for her lifestyle - whereas I feel 'enititled' to comment when that's not the case as I kind of am footing the bill.

dedward67

C_Ronaldo wrote: »

OP has the bf found a job yet

Hi, had a talk with them both again at the weekend and explained he will be fully responsible for supporting her and the baby and that without a job, this is going to be a difficult task. He maintains that he does want to work, but seems to be putting a lot of emphasis on a City and Guilds plumbing course. Sounds good, but it's over 5k and although there is government help, he may end up having to pay the balance. He's talked of career development loan, but doesn't know if he'd qualify as he's never borrowed money from the bank or had a credit card so hasn't got a lot of credit score! I can see plumbing may be a good trade to get into, but think he needs to get something now. When we go on holiday in a couple of weeks, he's going up to Manchester to help his dad (a window fitter), for a couple of weeks. I have suggested he contacts the local double glazing firms as he is experienced as a fitter's mate having worked with his dad regularly a couple of years back. He has said he'll do this, so I'll keep "encouraging" him. While he's not working, he has now got some voluntary work on a local church tidy up/restoration project, so I guess at least he's giving something back to the community!!

barnaby-bear

dedward67 wrote: »

While he's not working, he has now got some voluntary work on a local church tidy up/restoration project, so I guess at least he's giving something back to the community!!

:T :T :T Sounds like we were a bit harsh on the lad.

inmypocketnottheirs

Dedward67, how about as in my earlier post, has he sought help for the stutter. Why not get him down to the GP to get a referral to a speech therapist?

dedward67

inmypocketnottheirs wrote: »

Dedward67, how about as in my earlier post, has he sought help for the stutter. Why not get him down to the GP to get a referral to a speech therapist?

Yea, it's certainly something we need to look into as I think he would benefit him at interviews. He's fairly bright (OK he's not gonna be a barrister/Doctor etc!), but sometimes I think it's easy for people to misjudge this beacause of the stutter. It may also give him a confidence boost.

ceebeeby

Haven't read the whole thread so very sorry if repeating

Just to say you seem to be a very understanding and supportive Dad! Are you and future s-i-l's parents (together) in any way able to fund a deposit on a private let? Once in, they're probably entitled to HB etc.?? Does 17 year old have any savings to commit to this?

dedward67

ceebeeby wrote: »

Haven't read the whole thread so very sorry if repeating

Just to say you seem to be a very understanding and supportive Dad! Are you and future s-i-l's parents (together) in any way able to fund a deposit on a private let? Once in, they're probably entitled to HB etc.?? Does 17 year old have any savings to commit to this?

Yes, if need be we could fund the deposit. Don't have that much saved, but could manage to foot the deposit. Daughter does 2k or so in her savings which is mainly saved from my wife putting £10 a month of child benefit in each of the 3 children's accounts, but she has never been good with money, spends it as soon as she gets it, so she can't touch it unless my wife co-signs! Something I've told her she's gonna have to learn to get better at particularly when money is tight. It's certainly an option though.