Housing for pregnant 17 year old

brownbabygirl

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I've read the whole thread (!) and there's been a lot of good advice offered. However, I have to say that I'm appalled at those posters who've suggested that the OP's parents should be kicked out of their granny flat, either into a couple of upstairs rooms or into sheltered accommodation! What have they done to deserve to have their lives disrupted this way and at their age?

The OP has responsibility to his parents as well as to his daughter. She's in trouble of her own making with a boyfriend who wants to live off benefits and his new inlaws, if possible. Obviously the OP needs to support his daughter emotionally and, if he can afford it,perhaps help with a rental deposit or by being a guarantor but anything else would be going too far. Why should 3 generations of this family have chaos brought into all their lives by a silly girl and her lazy no mark boyfriend? What example would this be giving to the two other children in the family? Get pregnant and ruin the lives of 2 elderly people who've done nothing wrong! I'm sure the OP has too much sense and compassion to act on these thoughtless suggestions.

:T:T:T:T:T

poppy10_2

mummytofour wrote: »

I am still with my husband and we now have 5 children.

But you are only mummy to four of them?

titoever

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I've read the whole thread (!) and there's been a lot of good advice offered. However, I have to say that I'm appalled at those posters who've suggested that the OP's parents should be kicked out of their granny flat, either into a couple of upstairs rooms or into sheltered accommodation! What have they done to deserve to have their lives disrupted this way and at their age?

The OP has responsibility to his parents as well as to his daughter. She's in trouble of her own making with a boyfriend who wants to live off benefits and his new inlaws, if possible. Obviously the OP needs to support his daughter emotionally and, if he can afford it,perhaps help with a rental deposit or by being a guarantor but anything else would be going too far. Why should 3 generations of this family have chaos brought into all their lives by a silly girl and her lazy no mark boyfriend? What example would this be giving to the two other children in the family? Get pregnant and ruin the lives of 2 elderly people who've done nothing wrong! I'm sure the OP has too much sense and compassion to act on these thoughtless suggestions.

:T My thoughts exactly. surely most times it's easier for younger people to adapt to change than elderly people. These people I assume have worked hard all their lives and can't even be left in peace to enjoy their retirement:rolleyes: .

Please convert the dining into a room for your daughter if you need to and let the grannies have their peace in their home. Thanks.

titoever

I forgot to write this:

to the OP - You are a blessing to your daughter and family. I hope she realises how lucky she is to have you.

yeah I know it's a dad's duty to look out for his daughter but even from all your posts in this thread it sounds like you are a nice and reasonable man:beer: and I hope you find a solution to the problem soon.

Congrats and i wish you all the best.:A

bubblesmoney

briona wrote: »

I don't think it's that simple. The benefits system is without doubt an absolute shambles, which is probably why so many people of ALL ages (not just people in their late teens/early twenties) WOULD be better off not working. That's not the fault of this couple though, and who could blame them for wanting to exploit the fact or avail of what's out there?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a tax-payer and always have been and I know there are plenty of scroungers out there; people who see claiming what's "rightfully theirs" as a career path, but that's not to say that if you have to claim benefits at some point, you will stay on them for life. God, you only have to read some of the posts on the benefits board to see that life on benefits is not necessarily the easy option that many tax-payers would like to believe. Perhaps this couple will realise how hard life can be on limited funds or living in a horrible council flat on a vile estate? Perhaps this will inspire them to better themselves and their future? Just because the prospective father is unemployed NOW does not mean to say he'll stay that way and lumping him in with the rest of the "jerks who milks the system" is not exactly called for...

my basis for saying that is the FACT that the SIL does not want to work in minimum wage jobs when the only thing he is qualified for is minimum wage jobs.

even i want to be like michael doughlas or brad pitt, just smile or let people take photos of house/wedding/new born child etc and get millions(but people forget the years of hard work they put in to reach the position they are entitled to be in). but thats not going to happen to me even if i join the become a pop star 30 million scheme i linked to in my earlier posts in this thread. people like the SIL want to 'earn' 'good' money when sitting on their !!!! without any higher education, they see the others earning their bread and either the job is not good enough for them or the have excuses why they didnt get the job (ie as the OP says, the jobs are cornered by the multicultural lot etc.). why would any employer go to the trouble of hiring someone (from out of the country) and spend more recruiting them this way and spend again for the new employees relocation expenses, languauge problems etc, while they had ready access to enough labour adequate to do the job locally or willing to do the job. the excuse just doesnt make economic sense for any company. the OP is not talking about jobs that have been outsourced but about jobs very well present in the region but either not good enough as per his SIL or that they apparently are cornered by 'other' people. lame excuses by people like the SIL who cant be bothered to get off his !!!!. atleast hasnt bothered to for the last 6m.

just see for yourself on the jobcentre website i linked to in my earlier posts as to how many jobs are actually advertised at the local jobcentre, literally hundreds. there must be a lot more advertised in other local news papers and shop windows etc.

the SIL can dream of a well paid job but until he actually gets off his backside and climbs the chain from the bottom rung like many of us, his dreams are just going to remain dreams. sooner or later he is going to have to wake up to the reality that he is a bum and an irresponsible one at that.

the OP seems to be doing his best to improve things for his daughter, too bad he is stuck with this type of SIL. unfortunate situation for any parent to be in. if i was in that situation dont know what i'd do, probably shove a beehive up the SILs !!!! or dragging him by the scruff of his neck to the job centre to get his butt into a job ASAP.

LillyJ

bubblesmoney wrote: »

dont assume what grasp i have on the subject. and dont say things that i didnt.

this is what i said

see the part underlined in red. i just suggested going to the gp and discussing options. i was not and am not advising what method to use but suggesting there might be better options and best to discuss with GP as stressed in bold and red colour in my original post regarding this which u conveniently seem to ignore or are you colour blind too apart from limited comprehension of the written english language. what method is suitable is only for the girl to decide after discussing with her gp taking into account medical history and not for you or me or others to decide. also i have mentioned to discuss injectable options and also mentioned some published failure rates for the same. an implant and a depo are basically similar, just fancy names for a 'store' of the drug that is released slowly. very similar to any other depo of drugs. different brands have different longevity, see link in earlier post regarding failure rates etc and also about longevity. i wont go into the how it is injected / implanted or even how it is removed or how it works. and atleast some people might just know what they are discussing about:rotfl: . just because someone used the loo all their life does not mean they actually know how to build one or repair one. the same analogy applies to medicines and other stuff too in life.
i didnt need to be rude, but u started it. i wont respond to a retaliatory post as that would be a further waste of my time. i was only suggesting the option was available and to discuss with GP and you had to use ur 'knowledge' to teach someone who knows what they are actually talking about.

EDITED: apologies to lillyj. i shouldnt have snapped. but house hunting, baby due soon, pregnancy problems and worries giving me a bad headache. apologies once again for snapping, but wont edit this post as had written it earlier today.

I know you posted an apology, but I stand by my comment - you said depot lasts 3-5 years. It doesn't. End of.

PS I do know what I am talking about and not just through use of the methods described (which I don't actually use)

neverdespairgirl

bubblesmoney wrote: »

the SIL can dream of a well paid job but until he actually gets off his backside and climbs the chain from the bottom rung like many of us, his dreams are just going to remain dreams. sooner or later he is going to have to wake up to the reality that he is a bum and an irresponsible one at that.

It's not just like that when you only have GCSEs. The first year I worked as a barrister, I ended up earning about £11k. And I have GCSEs, A levels, law degree, masters degree, bar school qualification, and pupillage! It's the way things work in lots of areas, you don't usually start work earning £20k+.

bubblesmoney

yes i know, all of us me including have at some time or the other been at the same stage as the SIL is in when we passed out of school. but the difference is that we actually did something else rather than sit around waiting for good fortune, we did study further or work etc. even if one doesnt study further, just working gives one experience and much better chances at doing better in life. so many people who do well in life might not even have completed even school. but they are few and far between. the vast majority of us need to either work and persevere and climb up the rungs in life slowly or study further and try to jump up a few more rungs for a head start in life.
even i was young and stupid at that stage and needed goading like many to actually do something, which i did do probably because of the goading or myself i will never know which. so people who sit around might just need some goading by people involved in their lives. thats all i am trying to tell the OP to do, to do his damndest to goad the SIL, its only by working that the SIL can give a better life for the OPs daughter (the same appplies for the daughter as well). thats what parents are there for, to goad children (how ever old and matured the children think they are) at times when they are not doing the right thing. wish the OP luck in goading the SIL to do something rather than the SIL waiting for something to drop in his lap.

last but not the least, thank you to lillyj for accepting my apology and being more gracious than i was. apologies once again. have a nice day

Snooze

bubblesmoney wrote: »

the prospective SIL has made it clear to his prospective FIL that he is better off on benefits than working a minimum wage job.

it isnt rocket science is it. this chap has just GCSE, 6m unemployed, no experience, does not want minimum wage job. the stutter is the least of his problems. his problem is his attitude and quite a few other even outside his family on this board seem to be condoning the 'oh he is better off if he doesnt work as he would get almost the same on benefit' line.

get unemployment and hosuing and other tax benefits, dont work, get a girl pregnant with the intention of getting a house, get more benefits and not work because he cant find anythuing suitable. the writing is on the wall. the only people stuffed are the tax payers, it is jerks like this who milk the system.

benefits are supposed to help people in distress with no way out like singlesue who get stuch between a rock and a hard place. benefits are not meant for scroungers who milk the system like this 21y old jerk. hope the recently proposed changes to the benefits system comes sooner rather than later, this will take the 'voluntarily unemployed' like this jerk who will be put on litter picking duties and the like if they fail to get work on their own.

i have earlier today given the link to the jobcentre in thier area (lincolnshire) and after doing a search for jobs found more than 100 advertisements, many of which was for unskilled work and also for some apprenticeships at minimum or slightly above minimum wage but from the looks of it he seems to have no skills or higher education but wants the wages of a rocket scientist. until he gets those wages it will tax paying jerks like us funding his life style.

anyway the milking the system party is soon going to end and honest benefit seekers are going to suffer unfortunately because of the other scroungers flooding the system. the coffers are being emptied and there wont be much left soon for anyone. pensioners will be the hardest hit as they would have contributed all their lives only to find their taxes blown by many scroungers, while pensioners get higher bills.

compulsory draft should be used to kick !!! all the young fit and healthy actively trying to be unemployed bums and teach them some values in life

Hear hear. That's what I wanted to write first time round!! :T

Rob

bubblesmoney

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

It's not just like that when you only have GCSEs. The first year I worked as a barrister, I ended up earning about £11k. And I have GCSEs, A levels, law degree, masters degree, bar school qualification, and pupillage! It's the way things work in lots of areas, you don't usually start work earning £20k+.

:eek: :eek: :eek: 11k starting for barristers. i thought it would be 50k+ start at least and that most barristers earn well over 100k. or is it that what u mentioned is something like a basic pay and rest is incentives etc for work intensity / number of cases dealt with etc like many people in sales etc have. just curious as was shocked to hear about the starting salary for barristers