Marriage over don't know where to start

lotties_mum

I know you want him to see the children but I would try and make it every other day and to phone you first to make sure it is convenient for you, not to be difficult, but even though you would have him back he has to learn bounderies at the moment, and you have to think of your own health and wellbeing.

lotties_mum

have you tried st johns wort?

scottishfreebiehunter

I have tried all sorts down to wine and tablets from doc yes not ideal but feel as if world caved in,I will get there I know i will though very hard

poppyg_2

Kizzy, I have not been on for a couple of days so just been catching up

I am so glad you are seeing some positive signs now compared to what was happening a week ago

My Mum and Dad ended up being split up for around 4 months before they got back together and now they're still together 15 years later. Yes, sometimes I think maybe things would've been better if they had stayed apart but then maybe that's due to me not being 100% able to forgive what he did to us because I had to support my Mum emotionally when I was too young to deal with it (12) and I saw all the hurt he caused

I really do hope your husband realises what he'd be missing out on letting you go for everyone's sake

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Poppyg
The kids are young enough to not hold any grudges & I'm mature enough not to.
I'm not angry anymore, I get upset when I see the kids crying because he's not here, but that's not anger that's hurt.
Let's see what the day brings, I'm hoping in time he will realise, which is why I'm not talking about the divorce or anything, I'm not begging him to come back & I'm not mentioning the affair.
What I'm trying to avoid is him saying to me, don't read anything into these days out it's just for the kids & I still don't want to be with you, we're friends & that's all, which I think if I push things I might get.
The thing is with him living away, it is a bit like dating, & he obviously isn't having all the dull things that come with me either, so I'm a bit more on even ground at the moment.

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy if all this does not lead to want you want ( which I sincerely hope it does) then it will DEFINATELY lead to you realising what a special, strong, dignified and true lady you are and that will definately lead to another happy life eventually because you will make sure it does, thats obvious from your posts.

You keep that integrity Kizzy and you will be ok in the end what ever the outcome.

KM x

gerturdeanna

Well, I've said to him this morning - its your day off, you've the responsibility of looking after the kids - he's going to have to do it when I move!! So far, its 10:30 and the kids aren't even dressed yet!!

Keeping_Motivated

I second the St Johns Wort (check if you are taking other meds that it is ok though) because I know someone who swears by them and she was definately NOT a believer in natural medicines. She has seen a massive change in her mood and describes it as a cloud being lifted.

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks KM
Weighed myself today I've officially lost a stone! 8 stone 2 now & I have eaten.
Sun is shining now, so hopefully we'll have a nice time later on, at least I'm not stuck in the house, or dragging the kids around on my own & not having anyone to talk to whilst I'm out with them, that's the problem, if I take them anywhere I feel really lonely, because I can't talk to them about it, I'm nowhere near my computer lifeline ( you lot! ) & I can't afford to ring everyone on the mobile. I dread to think what my phone bill will be this month:o

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy could he babysit one night this week so you can go out with your sister, SIl or a friend, maybe just to their house for a glass of wine and a girlie chat? That way he is putting the kids to bed and seeing them, sitting in the house remembering hopefully and you are getting to have a good talk away from the house? I suppose you need to keep putting things in place to get through this.

Hope your phone bill is not too big. Are you managing to keep on top of the money things while you are feeling so pants? Just hoping that its not getting out of control for you.