Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

I#m awake too ^ typing in the dark
kids in my bed again & comp in bedroom!
so excuse typos
Yes I've updated my sig - I'm probably getting myself at it, but can't give up on it.
I'm just being "normal" with him, not needy or mentioning anything, I'm just hoping he'll realise what he's losing.
I'm lucky that she's trapped on a ship & they can only talk/text ( when there is a signal often you can't get one on ship ) so no chance at the moment of him seeing her. I'm also hoping she'll see sense & realise it's a no goer, distance, his complete dedication to the children & the fact he still comes around & does jobs for me - that would drive me crazy if I were her.
She may decide to stay with her husband after all.
I know it sounds like I'm settling to be 2nd choice, perhaps I am, but I don't care, I want him back & I want us to be a family again, how that comes about doesn't worry me

chevalier

like i said above, i will keep my fingers crossed for you. You are more forgiving than I would be, and i don't think i could live with the nagging 'has he really given her up thought at the back of my head'
chev

greeniegirl

Kizzy,
just wondering if you've tried to access an itemised printout for his phone form the phone company. Then you could monitor his contact with her - is the phone registrered in his name?i wonder would you be able to access it, being his wife. i know you said it was a pay as you go phone but no harm enquiring. Information is power as they say!

best of luck with your decision, really hope it works out for you.I've been reading through the threads and I can't believe the level of support and kindness of people out there! I just wish I'd known about this site earlier. I'll be thinking of you.

Prudent

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

I know it sounds like I'm settling to be 2nd choice, perhaps I am, but I don't care, I want him back & I want us to be a family again, how that comes about doesn't worry me

Aww kizzy I just had to reply to that post. I was married to a man who was multiply unfaithful for many years. I loved him very much and really wanted family life with him and dd. In the end he met someone he wanted to live with and left. I went through all the emotions that have been talked about here. His behaviour during the separation and subsequently was appalling and gradually I began to wake to up the kind of person he was rather than the kind of person I wanted him to be. Ten months after leaving me his relationship with the other woman broke down. He is now with someone else, but advertises on the internet for 'flings'.

I worked really hard at picking up my life. As it improved and I had a new life in my own right I felt much happier and wasn't looking for another bloke (to put me through all that again!). Then I met someone else about a year ago - five years after my hubby left. He is such a lovely person and the relationship is so much better than my one with hubby. Now - although I never thought I would feel this way- I am glad hubby moved on.

Saying all this though, I am always so delighted to see a marriage that has been restored. I just hope you get an outcome that will be the best for you

kizzykizzywizzy

Have tried to get phone info, I don't have the password.
Feeling bad today, had a fab dream though that we got back together, that's the first positive dream I've had about him in all this time, usually I'm waking up with a racing heart, because I've dreamt something really horrible. The only thing is I then had the realisation that it was a dream & that's all.
Just got a few hours before he's around here, nerves starting already.
Not much more to say, just very very low at the moment

lotties_mum

Kizzy, would it be better for you if you didn't go out with him today, tell him you want to spend some time doing paperwork, looking for college courses etc. Get him to take the kids out on his own, for your sake not his.

scottishfreebiehunter

feeling bad here also, had a dream also about him and her together enjoying what was my life and they took it away from me

kizzykizzywizzy

Probably, but then tomorrow I'd be missing him even more.
Going to get the kids breakfast & a shower.
Don't know what to do about arrangements to see them in the week as he has seen them 3 days in a row? I hate all this

kizzykizzywizzy

SFH, I'm a bag of nerves this morning, I'm not handling this well at all, going to have some bachs remedy, hope that will help

scottishfreebiehunter

I am so happy for you kizzy that he has seen them last few days,my ds would love to see his daddy ,though yes he is working 12hr shifts but he is finding it very hard,he has promised him he will be here before his first day at high school on Tuesday(another problem as he doesnt want to go and very unlike my son)and getting here before 8.30 am with traffic etc ,well god only knows as he will have to leave very early,i told him he cannot promise things like this if he is not doing it ,though says he will be here