Marriage over don't know where to start

greeniegirl

well you're human aren't you!!

Keeping_Motivated

Oh come on one call when you have been able to call on him for anything for the last 21 years is hardly a crime. How on earth are you supposed to switch off just like that, you would be made of stone!!

Although I know what people are saying about let him suffer, he doesn't deserve your company etc but also I think this is about you and at the moment you need to see him and if this hurts in the long run I think you are willing to take that risk to make sure you have done everything you can. It might even be weaning yourself off him, to sever all ties would take some doing and when you still want to save it then why do it.

Also seeing that mummy and daddy can still be friends can only be good for the children too.

I think you know the risks of what is happening Kizzy and its up to you to weigh up if you are willing to take that risk and up to now I think you are.

KM x

gerturdeanna

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

gerturdeanna , do you really feel so positive about it being over? or are you just being incredibly strong?
You are really doing so well. Or are you hoping the shock with make him realise?
Sorry just being nosey

I am really not very strong at all - and everyone I spoke to about the situation thinks I am - but I'm not at all. It is killing me inside!! All of it!! He's been with her this pm I think.Yet, he's come home and made tea for the kids etc (I've still got a stinking hangover)!! But I know that to get things better, whichever way they go, I have to get out of here!! When I go to the soilctiors on Monday, I'm asking about the implications of me and the kids leaving the MH. We as a family have been on the cuncil housing list for 2 years, we've been applying via the choice based lettings every week for a whole year - its just a shame that the one we got offered is in a really rubbish area!! But its a start!! Just need to win some TV, sofa, dining table comps now to furnish the new place!!!
I wish my parents were here, but they are on hols abroad and not due back until Wednesday. I've only got until Tuesday to let the council know whether I want the place or not. Am going to have to ask them for an extension on the deadline I think if I explain the situation, they may give me a few more days?
I am being pratical and going with my head rather than my heart. Its what I've got to do to keep on going. I can't shrivel into a ball, my kids need me to be strong and as someone said the way to get back at him the most, is to be strong and get on with my life. But again, if he apologised and sorted himself, I do think I would take him back in a instant but then again, I think to myself that someone I thought I knew could hurt me so much, he doesn't deserve me and I can and will do sooooo much better!!

scottishfreebiehunter

You cannot switch off it is just not possible.I would love to hate him and I told him so today.

Had a good day today though heart in my mouth though managed to get through the day and sort of enjoyed myself.

kizzykizzywizzy

Good for you SFH, glad you had a good day:D hope your DS enjoyed himself too.
Gerturdeanna thanks for being so honest, I wondered how you were managing it head over heart, will try to remember that;)
Not doing too good tonight, missing him & when I text him about the mouse, no reply so rang & he said he didn't feel his phone vibrate in his pocket, so obviously on silent so SIL doesn't realise she's ringing/texting him.

Skint_Lynne

Kizzy,

I see that you've changed your signature. If you are determined to save your marriage then go for it. My DH said to me after we had split up that we could not get back together because it was too embarrasing for him to see my family again and because we would have to move house.

He came back for a weekend to sort some stuff out and that was it - we were back together. I wanted that to happen and it did. A lot of people get carp endings but some get happy ones, I really hope that you get a happy one, you deserve it, so get yourself organised and get rid of the moose. (personally, I think that she-man is a much better description, you did say she was manly looking:rotfl: ) This sounds a bit dodgy but sometimes you have to fight for things you really want, so do it. You made the point about casting up, it's not a good idea. I made the decision to take him back so I never cast up what he did, I thought about it a lot at first but it fades eventually. I hardly think of it now.

As you know he denied having any fancy bit, but I still have the suspicion. I don't torment myself about it though because I will never know and also, he is with me and not with scrub a dub, if she ever existed.

Take care,

SL x

Buffythedebtslayer

oh Knickers to the lot of them.

sighs. I was all with it today and feeling very cheerful, tidied up a drawer and found some pictures of my exBF - just a boyfriend mind you we only recently broke up and it was most certainly the right thing to do etc. but I wish I could explain why i have sat here imagining ways to bump into him again, you know the scenarios across a crowded pub our eyes meet he realises he loves me after all but I tell him kindly it may be too late:rotfl: :rotfl:

You know this may sound sexist, but i think women do this we hope and we pray and forgive. It is often the right thing to do, and we and our relationships are stronger for it. So long as we bear in mind that it doesn't always work out, I think we are better off giving it every possible chance? at least when or if its over we know for sure there is nothing else to do? does that make sense?

Kizzy try not to read stuff into things(o so easy to say!), it may be he was watching tv - my phone is often on silent and the vibrate on it is useless(could make highly inappropriate comment there but shutting up)

sleep lots my loves and see you all tomorrow
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Skint_Lynne

Is anyone on the vino tonite? I can only take 2 glasses max of wine. I don't really drink so feel very merry after my yearly blow out:beer: .

When I see our poorly, it would put you off anyway. Had to go and get him a carry out tonight. Now this may sound strange, but he is trying to get off the drink but as he is quite far gone just now, it is dangerous to just take all of the drink away. he asked for whisky and 6 cans. I got him a quarter bottle and 4 cans. This should do him for tonight and he has no money to buy any more.

His house has been sold now, so he is going to live with my mum and dad for a bit. They have banned drink from the house and he is not allowed any in there. Hopefully he will get back to his meetings and put all of this behind him. I feel so sorry for him, he is a broken soul:( . Drink really is a curse. (cheery post!!)

SL x

scottishfreebiehunter

You go for thwat is best for you kizzyxxxxxxxx


I told my oh tonight that after being toegther so long i will never stop loving him,yes yes I know stupid me
Anyway he is going to pay all mortgage I am going to a lawyer Monday to see what they say and provide for me and son so well at least if i have to be alone then i will have money behind me to pay bills

oh and ffffffffffffffffffffffffff men as having wine and yes I am only 39 and still have a life ahead of me

beanielou

Is this your brother Lynne?