Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks, everyone, I don't know that I'm amazing, but I'm like any mother I will do everything I can to make my children happy, some of that includes me having to be happy too, & what makes me happy is being with my whole family including my husband.
I'm certainly not just wanting to be with my husband for the children's sake ( i'm not that selfless ) I WANT to be with him, so much it hurts.
Anyway time will tell, will have a look at your thread later miss shoes.
As for bottling it up:rotfl: I even told my life story to the woman on the till in Asda & do you know she took every one of my money off vouchers:rotfl:

Merry_Gentry

Wow, just spent a few hours reading this thread, and I am in awe of what some of the women on here are going through yet keep going. Kizzy, I really hope things turn out for the best for all of you - no words of advice really, just amazed at your strength :eek:

Keeping_Motivated

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

As for bottling it up:rotfl: I even told my life story to the woman on the till in Asda & do you know she took every one of my money off vouchers:rotfl:

:rotfl: See even off loading your emotions can save you money :T

gerturdeanna

I don't think I'm going to tell him re the offer of council housing. Move in date is whilst he's away for his brothers wedding - thinking I may just clear the house out and move in whilst he's not here!! hehe

OberonSH

Sounds like a plan - after all, he's nothing to do with you now is he?

kizzykizzywizzy

gerturdeanna , do you really feel so positive about it being over? or are you just being incredibly strong?
You are really doing so well. Or are you hoping the shock with make him realise?
Sorry just being nosey

greeniegirl

HI kizzy,
i don't mean to be offensive for one second, I do admire how you are coping.

However is it not torture to spend time with him when he told you he loves someone else? he doesn't deserve your time and good will, why not let him off witht he children and let him see how hard it can be to deal with them on his own. Then spend the time on yourself to relax and do what you want to do!

I can't say i've ever wondered what the other woman looked like/ did / thought, though I can understand the curiosity. They're taking scraps really messing with a married man aren't they. Direct your anger at the person who let you down - him!!

Put your energy into someone who deserves it - yourself! of course you want him back and love him but if you were to take him back now, you would be doing yourself an injustice.

I hope I don't sound too harsh here, it just angers me that he's had a fine day out and he can go off now and do what he pleases. He's promised nothing! Don't let him off so handy is my point!

gratefulone

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

That's a tricky one, my 1st instincts are yes, but even when I rang my husbands friend to ask if he was doing something & it took days for me to get an answer on the phone ( didn't realise he can't take phone to work ) & it made me feel ill every time I dialled the number.
I wrote down a script of what I was going to say, because my nerves were so bad & I was shaking so much, I'd probably have for gotten otherwise.
Well done for not ringing when you'd had a few.
Well I've woken up with that "empty" feeling again, who am I trying to kid? he just doesn't want me. Why even though I know he doesn't do I still have hope?

Hi kizzy. Sorry to hear that things are still so hard for you. You must be in such turmoil. I was struck by you mentioning "hope". He is feeding your hope. Perhaps DH realises that it is pointless alienating you - it would make it harder for him to access the children and just makes a bad situation worse. What has he got to loose by being pleasant towards you? Nothing! On the other hand his being pleasant may be giving you false hope that he will reconcile with you. Hedging his bets comes to mind. It is really important that you both remain civil with each other especially in front of the children but do what you can to strengthen yourself and do not give him permission or the power to decide your future happiness. This is a massive transition for you all. A family unit has become fragmented and each person will feel destabilised as they adjust to this change in state. Do what you can to stabilise yourself and the children. You are doing great - keep focused on your strengths and recall what you have overcome in your life. You have more internal resources than you give yourself credit for. Keep things as civil as you can for the sake of your children but do not deny yourself the expression of your true feelings. You have a deep wisdom and are capable of finding your own answers - trust yourself.:A

greeniegirl

i agree with what you said here gratefulone,

however I have to say we feed hope ourselves don't we! It's too scary to think that our beloved who we trusted could be happier with someone other than us. It's easier to try find blame and find the other woman uglier/ fatter, etc. The truth is that the person you trusted let you down and there's no real going back, it'd never be the same.. Who's he anyway to find fault!?

your hope is what's keeping you going at the moment but unfort it will go when reality sinks in more. I think you need to go easy on yourself so you'll have the resources to cope when this happens, cause it's so painful.. So look after yourself and think of all you want to achieve and remember all the support you have. Best of luck!

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi yes he probably is making me happy in order to see the kids, yes I'm probably being a berk hoping, yes I'm torturing myself. But it is torture not being with him too.
Guess what, have another mouse:eek: will get the humane traps out, before monkey wrench man gets to it!
He's coming around tomorrow, so we can go out - I just text him to tell him, no reply, so rang him, yes I know:rolleyes: , he said if it gets trapped he'll let it out for me, as I really can't handle mice.
SFH hope you had a nice day with DS, I wish I could practice what I preach, I said to you not to ring your husband & here am I doing just that.