Marriage over don't know where to start

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy do you watch 'Friends'? There is an episode about Ex's and they were saying you should always have a 'bonus night' with an ex and basically they mean you should always sleep with them once after its over, to leave them something to remember. Sorry to lower the tone Would be nice to get your own back on the Moose though for old times sake

Sorry if that offends its not meant to.

KM x

Baggiebird1nil

Kizzy,

I have spent the last 3 days at work reading your thread and have been through something similar. There may come a time (like me) when you have a lighbulb moment and ask yourself why am I doing this to myself! Yes you hurt, and yes you love him but can you ever trust him again? He has the best of both worlds at the moment. He's playing happy families but what he is really doing is ripping your heart out.
Make YOUR rules and tell him when he can and can't come. Don't let him monopolise you.
I tried to make a go of it a couple of times because I had a lovely home, car, good job but I wasn't happy. My lightbulb moment came at Christmas when I was there on my own with a 7 and 3 year old. I decided then that things were on my term and moved on. I moved into council accommodation (his girlfriend moved in within 24 hours of my leaving) decided that it was MY time now and moved on. I have since met a wonderful man and we have been married for 21 years now.
I think what I am trying to say is live your life. Look after your kids (they will get used to Dad being there on Sundays and taking them out) and frighten the cr*p out of him!
If you decide between you that you can make a go of it then that's great but don't give him the choice. He decided to drop his kegs and the moose was only too willing. (What the hell was she doing sailing the 7 seas with her kids?)
Call the shots now Kizzy. It's your time and you will survive!
All the best in whatever you decide.

Buffythedebtslayer

hey Kizzy, also glad you posted had no internet all day ( the horror!) and was thinking about you. It sounds like you had a nice day at least, if a little confusing.

It does seem like he wants to be around you.

like I said human beings are confusing!

make sure you post over the weekend (or ring if you like)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks folks, I'm not pinning my hopes on anything, I think I would trust him, it's not like she lives anywhere nearby.
I just don't want to argue, the kids are so happy, I'm happy, ok he's not being punished even more, but as I've said he's a broken man.
I didn't do any I love you's or anything, got my house tidied & had fun;) so who's the winner here? We all are :T & hopefully we can have a nice weekend too, & when he goes back to work monday, I'm sure he'll be missing the fun times he's had, so might work better as a punishment & our children aren't being deprived of his company - they love him to death

kizzykizzywizzy

I like the idea of a bonus night too;) :rotfl: not likely though

Keeping_Motivated

Does he drink wine too? Maybe you could get the wine out and get a little merry together and maybe take advantage

KM should now leave the room for being far too encouraging and should now drop the subject

I'm glad you had a nice day and I hope your weekend is good too. Like you say it is good for the kids and thats important despite what you and OH are going through so good for you :A

Baggiebird1nil

Sorry Kizzy but if you know you aren't going to get a bonus night (what the hell is that???) why sell yourself so low? He's said that he loves you but is not in love with you (is that right?) so that makes him like a brother right? Kizzy think about YOU now. How long can you go on hoping? I know it's hard and it may backfire but make him make a decision! If he makes the wrong one perhaps he will have the b*lls to admit he made a mistake but believe me honey you cannot carry on torturing yourself. The longer you let him carry on as he is the longer you will suffer. You have enough to contend with with the kids and you Grandma and your Dad without a midlife crisis Kevin the teenager. Make him make a decision!!
You are a strong person, yu have coped so far and you will carry on just please stand up for Kizzy for once!
Have to go to bed soon as am off to the Emirates tomorrow to follow my beloved Baggies (sad or what?).
I don't normally get involved in things like this but as I said I've been there, done that, got the tee-shirt, come out the other side and am happilly married for a second time but I had to be ME first.
Goodnight and I'll keep looking out for you. XXXX

kizzykizzywizzy

He didn't want any..........wine that is!
I'm just going to make the make the most of having company & help, weekends are really horrible, when everyone else seems to be in a family, it has been like that all the time he's been away, so going to make the most of it & we won't be "playing happy famillies" because we are happy when we are all together. That's why it's such a shock for him to say he was unhappy, maybe in hindsight he may now realise, he WAS happy after all
Baggiebird, if it happens it happens if it doesn't we've had a few nice days out & if in the meantime a millionaire comes along & whisks me away, so be it hahaha

Baggiebird1nil

I really hope so for your sake. Make the t**t sweat for a while.
Goodnight and God Bless. I'll pray for you along with my Baggie Boys!! Come on you Baggies!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: I have to get up at 5.30 in the morning! God when I think of it what a long way I've come. My two kids are happy and settled and now understand why I left their Dad and agree with me! Bonus!! My new hubby (21 years married :rotfl: is off to Leeds to watch his team). There are some wonderful, wonderful people out there you just have to go find them!!

Ellidee

Hi Kizzy, I have been following your thread but not posting, so sorry for your troubles. Just wanted to tell you that I think that maybe he does still love you. All that stuff about 'we've always had problems' is just his way of justifying, if only to himself , what he did. Don't give up hope and good luck what ever happens. One thing is for sure -he doesn''t deserve you.