Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

In times of stress i never drink, which is weird.
Just downloaded our holiday photos from the camera.
DS is up, so will go & get him some breakfast, haven't heard anything from the loser, he should be at work, whether he's gone in or not I don't know

Fidget21

I'm just off to work, but wanted to catch up and send you a ((((hug)))) to help get you through the day.

Hell1

Morning Kizzy:hello:

Honey, just wanted to say how sorry I am. Now, as Chev said, is the time for lists and action. Please do change the locks, though, make this a priority, he may have a spare pair of keys somewhere. Remember atm you have all the cards, you can set the rules ect. He is at fault, not you. Believe me, when you do get his "stuff" out, it will give you more room, and a psycological boost. You can then make your home yours, and he can't come in!

Echoing other posts, you and the kids are what is important. Try and give yourself a treat, you deserve it. BTW I swear by Nytol - it really does give you a good nights sleep, and sleep is what you need.

Take care,

Hellxx

elona

kizzy

Well done for sorting out the building society book etc.

Make sure that you "pull up the drawbridge" and protect yourself and your children from his selfishness, stupidity and cruelty!

In Victorian times the adage was that a gentleman who had a mistress should be treating his wife better than ever because of it - not worse!!!

I have no sympathy for the woman involved but the real damage was done by your husband's treatment of you and the children rather than purely by the affair. God only knows what he told her as he has hardly proved himself to be truthful!

If he had told you he had been lonely and stupid etc and genuinely wanted to put things right then I do not think you would be as gutted!

If you have house insurance some of them include legal help so it might be worth checking.

He is not the man you married any more as he is eaten up with selfishness, weakness and self destruction. Don't let him drag you and the children down too!

I can see why you feel her husband should be told but give yourself time to decide wether in the long run it will make you feel better about yourself or worse!

Your H sounds about as useful as a chocolate teapot - in fact less useful.

Big hug and the very best of luck.

scottishfreebiehunter

morning kizzy and all did not get much sleep either and ds so upset,going to have to phone the idiot I am married to to help me out with ds,if he says no then no idea what I am going to do as our son should be top of the list.

not sure how i can manage through next few weeks as shatted pysically and mentallyxx

scottishfreebiehunter

regarding changing the locks not sure how it works in England,though in Scotland if a person who is named on mortgage/rent book etc seemingly has a right to get into there own home e.g. breaking window or door if they have to as checked it out as I was going to get locks changed also,though as I said laws may differ in England.

mumoftwins

SFH,

Do you have any friends or family near to you? I just wondered if you do whether your little would be feel more secure if he knew that all his surrounding family are there to give him love and cuddles - it may help? How old is he?

Also, do make lists of things like we have advised kizzy, it will lessen the load in your mind.

Good luck to you both, having been there I know it does get better xx

scottishfreebiehunter

just turned 12 but a really soft hearted wee boy,family not close other than my dad and he is not interested all very hard

mumoftwins

Oh and remember this saying both of you - its so true!!!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

mumoftwins

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

just turned 12 but a really soft hearted wee boy,family not close other than my dad and he is not interested all very hard

My son is nearly 12 and is very sensitive still to situations to do with his Dad and I. His twin sister exploded when she found out that we were splitting up (they were 8 then) but she now takes it in her stride. Don't know what it is about boys but we seem to have 2 who have taken it hard.

The thing is your DS is old enough to understand more and there is probably an awful lot going on in his mind at the moment - does he talk to you or do you think he's bottling things up?

Got to go out now but will be back later this morning and will look in again.