Marriage over don't know where to start

Wol2

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

He's admitted it now, even though only one person said anything - I've been suspicious for a very long time, as he was very off with me on the phone a few times, over the last few months, which is not like him.

Kizzy Hun

That is THE most imortant thing atm..he who was denying your perceptions has finally come clean. Don;t realitate now, no matter how tempting that will seem in view of how you must be feeling. Rest now..(and if you can't rest, stab a soft toy with your sharpest carving knIfe...and MAKE SURE YOU HAVE PUT ONE OF HIS SHIRTS ON IT FIRST ...works wonders!!) ..
You now (Unfortunately) have the truth and validation you need, you know the score. Handle it with dignity from now on. Direct your anger at your OH rather than her's OH and kids. (Oh and She (IT???)...is not worth an ounce or minute of your energy and time) Don;t give her the satisfaction of your response.
Know it's hard, hard, hard.........bringing tears to my eyes just recalling it all ref my own situation.


xxx
Wol2

Laini

Hi Kizzy

just found your thread tonight 12 midnight- I have read it and I really admire you.now 1.44am
My OH is a real pain so I have put laxatives in his dinner in the past when he has upset me.
joking aside

I hope and I know everything is going to work out for you.

I have friends who have been through what you are going through and it is tough but you know what -everyone I know is a lot happier and stronger because you cant go back , only forward.

best wishes

I will keep reading cos it will be a happy ending maybe not predictable or what you thought.

Laini xx

Pinkylouloubell

Hello Kizzy,

I have just spent almost two hours reading through this thread and I am so gutted for you.

What a complete !!!! bag wan*er c*** he us (excuse language).

And to say to you that you are the problem,

I am honestly sitting hear, mind racing, just sooooo angry for you and want to give him a proper dry slap!!!
-and the !!!!!! bag too.

HOW DARE HE!!!

You now need to take care of you and your bubbies.

and let him blunder his way through with or withour his bit of fluff!!

Please take care, keep hold of your dignity, turn your phone off and keep in touch with everyone on here.

I have been amazed at the compassion and loyalty of some of the people on this site since joining.

BBBBIIIIGGGG HHHHUUUUGGGGSSSS TTTTOOO KKKKIIIIZZZZZZZZYYYY!!!!!!!!

gettingbetter

kizzy
just wanted to say i admire your strength
kas

chevalier

Ah hun I am SO SORRY that it has come to this. I think that everyone else has beaten me to it in expressing my utter indignation on your behalf, and my revulsion of this pathetic man, and his fancy piece.


I hope you are asleep now, but tomorrow you need to make a plan. Here are some suggestions for you to mull over

1) Tell his parents and his sister in law. Tell his parents that just because he is being a donkey doesn't mean that you don't want them to still be involved with their grand children, nor for SIL to not still be their Aunty.

2) Phone the CAB and ask if they have a list of solicitors that give free 1 hour consultations.

3) Find out where to get the divorce papers from so you can fill them in. No point in waiting is there now.

4) Talk to SIL about OH stuff. If she genuinely can't store them, then perhaps she might know of a loft/shed/storage place where they could be put? Alternatively tell her to tell him that he has 7 days to arrange to his things to be stored otherwise it will be sitting out in the front garden for him to collecte.

5) Arrange to change the locks. Sorry but he doesn't live in your house anymore, so you have to ensure that he doesn't have access.

6) Make sure that any suppliers of services are aware that he does not live with you anymore.

7) Enjoy your children.

8) Ask your parents in law or someone else, to allow the children to see OH at their house as you feel uncomfortable having him in your house.

The very best of luck
chev

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi Chev, still awake.
Thanks for the list, I do need things in lists at the moment, I have told his Mum & SIL, and everybody else I could contact today, no wonder he hasn't contacted his friends, he's too ashamed.
I took his keys away whilst we were on holiday.
He's going to have to wait to see the kids, I'm not leaving him alone with them, as I don't know what he'll say to them & as you know he's not very tactful, will probably take them to SIL when I feel up to it.
Will arrange solicitor tomorrow, wftc, income support try & open seperate bank account etc, how much of this I manage I don;t know have been useless today!

chevalier

My excuse is that I am in a different time zone, what is yours? You must TRY to rest even if not sleep. The last thing your little ones need is for you to get ill through no sleep
chev

kizzykizzywizzy

Awake again!
I can't believe this is happening to me.
I really am trying to sleep, but my mind is racing & I just woke up with my heart racing, will go for a lie down, & see if I can get back to sleep

Skint_Lynne

I'm just up, but going for another wee nap. Try and get a sleep before the wee ones are awake, or even go to bed and put the telly on, you have had a big shock, remember to look after yourself.

SL x

mumoftwins

Morning Kizzy,

Hope you managed to get back to sleep or at least get some rest.

Chev's list is a perfect way to start things for you - do as much as you can but don't beat yourself up if you don't get them all done today.

Each time you think of something that you need to do or want to do - write it down and do what you can when you can - it will mean that you don't have so much whizzing around in your mind which may mean that you sleep better too.

Must say that a couple of glasses of wine and some Nightnurse is a brilliant way to get a good nights sleep