Marriage over don't know where to start

Fidget21

Kizzy

Have just caught up with your news and am gutted fr you. The daft old romantic that I am had hoped your holiday would end with a happy ending.

I cannot believe he has been cheating on you!!!!! And he's had the audacity to come home and make you feel like it's something you've done wrong. I mean of course he probably is blaming you to relieve some of his guilt, he probably thinks if he hadn't have taken that secondment none of this ever would have happened...so of course it's your fault!!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! Kick him in the 'nads from me.

The questions running through my head are the same as everybody else, how did you find out etc, but you may be too upset to let us know at the moment. However if you do need to 'speak' to somebody, I have a feeling there will be a number of us sat by our screens and keyboards just in case.

Kizzy, I don't know you and was not really aware of your circumstances before this post but reading through the things you do for your dad and nan show me that you are a very selfless, caring individual who does not deserve to be treated the way your husband has treated you. If he cannot recognise the gift that he has in you then he does not deserve you. Although you may not feel up to acknowledging it at the moment, you obviously have a tremendous inner strength just to give as much as you currently do to other people and that will get you through this (but I wish it didn't have to).

Thinking of you. x

skint_spice

Hi Kizzy, sorry to hear your news but at least it all seems to make sense now - no help I know. You will get through this, try to remember that when it all seems too bleak, things will get better. x

scottishfreebiehunter

kizzy tried to call youxxxxxxxxx

I know how hard it is and how gutting it feels and my ds has been crying all evening and finding it so hard to cope at the moment

colnkits

Really hope you're ok Kizzy.
((hugs))

furball

Kizzy so sorry, wish you had had a happy ever after. Right you have managed perfectly well without him for 18 months. You are strong enough to get through this. One of the hardest parts is not knowing and blaming yourself, wondering what you have done and how you can make him love you again, ie if only i did this or if only i had done things differently. Now you know itn NOT your fault he is just a weak willed sh*t. You deserve better and are too good for him. You have the most important things, your children, I know it doesnt seem like it but you will come out the other side of this much stronger. Don't let him twist things and try and blame you, he will, it's his failing not yours. No matter what he says do try and stay calm even if it means walking out of the room. Try and think exactly what you want to say to him before letting rip, then at least you won't be thinking i wish i had said this or that. . If she has played around with him she will sooner or later play around on him, what goes around comes around. You will get through this, we all care about you even those like me that have followed this thread and not posted on it before. Huggs and kisses.
p.s Don't believe him when he says he hasn't loved you for ages it's his way of trying to justify what he has done. They all say it. xxx

ekk_3

Hi Kizzy, you will come out of this ok. Don't let him twist things and mess with ur head. Its his problem/fault he's cheated and has nothing to do with you. Easier said than done but don't drive urself mad with whatifs.
Hugs xxx

kizzykizzywizzy

SFH off the phone now!

kizzykizzywizzy

Sorry, I've been on the phone all night talking to people ( friends & family ) so haven't been able to update.
I found out because I rang the friend who I'd asked befores mobile & his wife answered & she was kind enough to tell me the truth, though didn't have much info, though i have a name, I know she's on the ship at the moment & she's married with kids. I also have a photo of her as he sent me one of them all standing on deck she looks a right moose - any port in a storm

sallyx

Oh Kizzy hun, some men can be right !!!!!! at times. You deserve so much better, so do your children.
take care of yourself and there are many of us on here that can offer support and help you through this

Fidget21

Have you been able to speak to/confront your OH?