Marriage over don't know where to start

pandapaws

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Well he has told them, but just blurted it out, just as he did to me, we were having a row & he just said to our DD, I don't love Mummy anymore I don't want to be with her I can't stand being in the same room as her! Our DD burst into tears, I said I can't believe you just did that, & he said it's your fault, you wanted me to do that!

Aaaargh, where is this guy? If I could see him right now I'd knock him out. How dare he take his pathetic mid-life crisis out on the poor innocent kids? They're suffering enough because daddy's gone without him deliverately making it worse for them.

One good thing out of all of this - you now know what a complete and utter !!!!!! he is. Get on with the plan as Chev said above - the sooner he's out of your life (tho sadly he can't ever be out of it completely because of the kisd) the better.

Skint_Lynne

Kizzy,

I so hope that I am wrong with this, but I think that this is the beginning of nastiness starting. You should try and distance yourself now, have as little contact as possible. I don't know if you will get to the bottom of why he is doing this if he hasn't told you by now. I'm sorry to say it, but with the mood swings and dodgy stuff he is saying, do you think there is any possiblility that there is someone else making the bullets and he is firing them?

I really want a happy ending for you and I thought you would come back with everything sorted, but I do think it's time for you to start to try and think about yourself and what you are going to do in order to move on. Men are right barstewards at times!!!!!:mad: :mad:

SL x

Skint_Lynne

P.S.

I can't believe he said that to your DD as well, what a t****r. If I could get my hands on him, it would be the glesga kiss he would get from me!!!:mad:

kizzykizzywizzy

Well he'll be here tonight, but he did ask if I needed anything doing, so I will get him to clear up the cat poo, which is accumilating in the forecourt where I have slate chippings.
He can also put the cases back in the roof & get the kids thier dinner.
I'm going to keep well away whilst he's here, if he starts shouting he will be leaving pronto

Skint_Lynne

Kizzy,

Find out how long he is staying for and go out for the whole time, after all, he can't stand being in the same room as you, so just leave the premises. Go to your sisters or friends or nan's anywhere just don't stay in. Let him look after the kids on his own for a while, then that will let him see what things are like for you all the time.

Chin up wee pal,

SL x

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Kizzy I am so sorry he did that to you and your children, that is so not fair.

My fear for you is that when you (quite rightly) keep getting digs, being sarcastic, rowing etc ( I would do the same by the way, its just easier to give advice from where I am IYSWIM) then byou are making it easier for him to do what and say what he wants without feeling guilty coz he can blame you. This might sound a little manipulative but the nicer you are the harder it will be for him to be nasty and the harder it will be for him to say 'stuff it I'm not paying for house' etc than it would fbe if he could say you were being nasty etc. I wouldn't give him any amunition (sp) to blame you and get nasty about money.

HOWEVER that will be hard to achieve while you feel you have not got everything off your chest and while he has not given an explanation. We can not change/predice how he behaves but you can decide how you are going to react to it. My advice would be to put everything and I mean ALL your feelings down in a letter then give it him so he knows EVERYTHING without all the bitter comments that get us diverted from our point and then I would TRY my very best to leave it that until if/when he decides to respond. If he does not respond at least you will have no regrets that you did not try and explain/rescue your feelings and your marriage. If he does not respond then he WILL be the one with regrets and guilt, believe mne guilt lasts longer than any pain.

KM x

GeorgeUK

It almost seems as though he's trying to blame you for something!!

So sorry this hasn't been resolved Kizzy.
Thoughts are with you.

kizzykizzywizzy

Yes Georgeuk it does, doesn't it, when he goes mad he says you drive me to it, like he's not responsible for his own actions.
Not sure I want to leave him with the kids, he's a bit up & down with them either no1 dad or snappy, & want to make sure he's not snappy with them today.
CAB have just rung, I've got an appointment with them now, but not until 8th September!

Keeping_Motivated

Hi kizzy

The other thing I wondered was is are you claiming Attendance Allowance for your Nan? That would hopefully help the financial side for you and your sister?

kizzykizzywizzy

I think my Dad gets it!! funnily enough, he did use to do her shopping & was supposed to do her hoovering & washing, but has drunk himself into being frail, due to grief from the loss of my mum.
My Dad is in a lot of debt, due to him & my mum going on holidays, her having nice clothes nice car nails, hair done etc & just getting credit cards & a loan, which the bank wouldn't give them ppi on.
My sister sorted out his finances did the £1 thing to all creditors, but he wouldn't have it & is living on peanuts ( well whisky actually ) as he spent it he will pay it back, even though IMO bank took the risk when they gave a loan to 2 pensioners

What I meant to say is he needs it more than me