Marriage over don't know where to start

dellybelly_2

Julie - has your ex ever dealt much with your ds before? I think you need to sit down with him soon and discuss discipline, the importance of consistency with a child and what is reasonable behaviour with your son as in. If he's eating his tea and watching Dora, it's unreasonable to just announce that he's getting his pj's on. It would have been better for him to say, we'll put your pj's on and get you ready for bed after Dora - eat up your tea...

You were ABSOLUTELY right to shout at him (although it would have been better not to do it in front of DS) and he NEVER should have pinned your DS down. Just not on. Its not a wonder you're angry.

My DS has been deliberately wetting himself, only with me and I can't get him out of it. I think it has something to do with on Sunday I was having a really hard day -he wet himself 6 times, once was outside in front of a neighbours house and I killed myself laughing - what else was I to do? I reckon in his wee mind he's thinking If I pee myself mammy won't be sad! How awful.

scottishfreebiehunter

delly do what is best for you and ds regarding visiting ,though my oh still here and I am ready to cry and it is very very hard when they walk out that door,well for me it is.
Jules yes it is worthwhile talking to him and saying look this is what you are doing,maybe in day or so when you have calmed down as it is the kids who are being affected also
I feel virtually sick and do not know if i can keep doing this
I know it may get easier though want to just disspear

scottishfreebiehunter

delly over night stays well at the moment until my ds is settled there will be known and if there ever is any then it will not be in sluts house

dizzy_lizzie

julie2710 wrote: »

Well time to put my feet up and catch up with everyone. I did something not so good tonite!

Oh no you didn't. You stood up for your son!!! Sounds like your ex took his anger out on his son when really he was angry at you. It sounds awful what you both went through. I've not posted on this thread before but I just had too. At least your little boy settled down. Can you not suggest that seeing as you're now going to be doing the major parenting then it will be you who decides your sons routine. Not your ex. He was so out of order. Failing that i would see a solicitor before your ex's anger is directed at your son again.
Hope you're feeling a little better this evening.
Hugsz Dizzy x

scottishfreebiehunter

He has gone now and my heart is breaking again when will this stop,I know what he has done to me ,though cannot stop loving him

dellybelly_2

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

delly over night stays well at the moment until my ds is settled there will be known and if there ever is any then it will not be in sluts house

SFH - I actually checked out about visitation if my ex starts a relationship with someone else. My solicitor said that no court would force a child to meet another woman until the child's mother is happy that the relatioanship is a stable one.

To be honest, whilst I'm anxious about maintaining stability for my DS, I'm also keen to ensure that my ex doesn't avoid his reponsibilities including overnight access - he left to lead a single life, but he is a father and has repsonsibilities, and now I'm entitled to a life too and definitely want to get out. It'll help me heal and keep me stronger for DS.

scottishfreebiehunter

For sure delly:T
Where I am going with mine is that ds will be nowhere near the s l u t s house,and tbh not sure if he even wants him overnight,though work etc is at weekend so ds cannot go during week
really upset now at him leaving but .................will gt used to it i hope

kizzykizzywizzy

Bl**dy hell Jules, I would definately stop him coming to see DS if he was going to behave like that each time, DFS was a bit snappy with kids & shouted at them a couple of times when he's been around & I told him not to bother coming again if he was going to be like that after they'd been looking forward to seeing him. Also before I knew about Moose & when he was acting weird, he smacked my DD a couple of times in one day, she is so well behaved ( most of the time;) ), I couldn't believe he'd done that, he just couldn't control himself I suppose, I went mad at him.
DB, visitation is a pain in the what not, i still haven't sussed it out myself, I think it's up to you if you are happy for him to see DS that often & if he has somewhere to take DS.

dellybelly_2

SFH - why is he coming over every day?

julie2710

dizzy_lizzie wrote: »

Oh no you didn't. You stood up for your son!!! Sounds like your ex took his anger out on his son when really he was angry at you. It sounds awful what you both went through. I've not posted on this thread before but I just had too. At least your little boy settled down. Can you not suggest that seeing as you're now going to be doing the major parenting then it will be you who decides your sons routine. Not your ex. He was so out of order. Failing that i would see a solicitor before your ex's anger is directed at your son again.
Hope you're feeling a little better this evening.
Hugsz Dizzy x

Thanks Dizzy and everyone else. My son is the most placid kid you could find and he very rarely cries or throws tantrums, but his dad has managed to have him in tears twice on Monday and again tonite. It's just not fair! He decided to put us all in this situation and now maybe he's regretting it and he's probably annoyed with me because I am getting on with my life and have had a big clear out o the house, am getting finances sorted etc. I was hoping to try and avoid solicitors if possible as finances are going to be tight, but he hasn't even said how much he's going to pay me - or if? So I might need to do something!
Taking my mum and dad with DS to town tomorrow to get him some new trainers. I think I will probably phone DH tomorrow afternoon when DS is with his nana and grandad and discuss a few issues that seem to be arising!
SFH - so sorry that you're struggling so much - I wish I could take away all the crap that you're feeling - there's not really anything anyone can say to help - I guess I'm lucky in that I can see my ex for the t**t he really is now! We're all here for you though!