Marriage over don't know where to start

elj2287

Shineyhappy wrote: »

I know what you mean, I am 28 next week and have no kids and I am not a bar or club person either! I like going out for a quiet drink in a pub with seats, a fire place and no loud music. Not everyone is into the current trendier scences.

I'm even younger and cannot stand clubs!! All that pushing and shoving and you see some right sights, women/girls who think it looks classy to dress with tops that would fit barbie and a belt for a skirt...:rotfl:
Much prefer comfy chair in a quiet pub for a good natter!:D

julie2710

Hi All

Bit late joining today as have been feeling absolutely knackered!_pale_ Think I've probably been overdoing it the last few days, but feel I have to get things done and with only 11 days left to the birth there still seems to be loads to do
Dropped son at nursery - he had another good night and hasn't asked for his dad at all! I'm almost scared about it? Went into town and did a bit of shopping - got DS some new trousers and a top, I'll have to take the trousers in though as he's so little - more damn work, why don't the all have adjustable waists?
When I got home I was so shattered I've just spent the whole morning asleep on the sofa - done a bit of washing and trying to catch up with some other stuff now.
Kizzy - I'm so sorry you're going through a bad day! Everytime I start to feel a little bit like that towards my DH I just picture the witch he Sc*w*d, that normally acts as a bit of a reality check and I realise that he had no respect for me so why would I want him again? It must be hard with your kids being so sad, but they are his kids too and he needs to be reminded that his responsibilities go further than paying the mortgage! He shouldn't be crying in front of them either - that's bound to upset them. You probably need to sit down with him when the kids are out of the way and give him some instructions on what his responsibilities are and the rules.

Gert - What a bargain! I'm going to try and find some cheaper contact lenses today, as I pay about 28 pounds a month at the minute for dailies - should be able to save some cash there?

SFH - Poor DS (and you!) not long 'til Oz now - just keep holding that thought!

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks basketcase, I have said things along that line to them, I'm always telling them how much I love them & how much I love Daddy & would love him to come home ( don't know if I should say the last bit? )
Have just spoken to the friend I'm going out with Sat we aren't going to the club now!! :j :j we are going on a pub crawl should be 6-8 of us including a couple of blokes - 1 gay 1 married! It may be that we end up in a club later, we are going to play it by ear, also it's not too far for me to get a taxi if I need to get home.
Elj - that book sounds really interesting, I'm always trying to suss him out & don't get any further, i've seen her before on TV, so I know who you are talking about, I wonder if they've got it at the library? could always reserve it.
Gert, I know it sounds silly as I'm on here talking to people I don't really know, but I don't think I'd like to meet someone online - just not my thing, I suppose.
Anyhow, feeling a lot more upbeat after talking to friend
Sister having a scan today on her boob, hope she's ok ? she's going to let me know how she gets on later.
She had a nice meal last night with her EX & 2 DS's & tonight she's out to the pub with EX & DS's as DS1 is 18 today so they are going for a drink with him before he goes out with his mates & taking a cake to the pub as not really party atmosphere at home!
Thanks everyone for helping YET AGAIN, I still love him though! anyone know how to re-programme your brain?

kizzykizzywizzy

Jules - take it easy don't do too much :A

Elise - thanks for posting again, I'm sure it wasn't easy for you either, & yes I would've found it a lot easier without the kids, as they are hurting too & that is awful, because my parents although they stayed together, had a volatile (sp) relationship & I didn't want my kids to have parents that argue & don't get on & that is all we do lately - usually on the phone when they are asleep - the stalker night was anyway!
We DID use to get on before all this, that's why I'm still in shock, when he says he was unhappy.
Oh well just going to run the hoover over & go & pick the kids up, roast didn't get done - bl**dy useless, will think about it tomorrow - starting to sound like Scarlett O'Hara ( My favourite film of all time Gone with the Wind )

kimlisa66

robster1964 wrote: »

Anyway Guys, theres another thread going called Inspirational songs, what lifts you when times are hard... I think you should try to listen to some of them and to start you off, I have copied these words. Hope they can give you some strength...............


Rascal Flatts - Stand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yB24M7VM

You feel like a candle
In a hurricane
Just like a picture
With a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your help
But you'll be alright
You'll be alright

Cos when push comes to shove
You'll taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cos it's all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given
Before it's gone
And start holdin on
Keep holdin on

Cos when push comes to shove
You'll taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cos it's all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

Cos when push comes to shove
You'll taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cos it's all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Originally posted by eyelinerprincess, I have never heard it, but when I read the words, they made me feel good!!

Robster xxx

Hey Robster

Wise words there, and totally loving Rascal Flatts...im a massive fan too....posted a couple of Youtube vids earlier in the thread for people to watch.one of which was 'Moving on' ...the lyrics, the music, they get me to my very core...its as if that song was written about me....

Had some good news, my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple of weeks back but it looks like its contained and hasnt spread, im so relieved...will be surgery rather than radical chemo and radiotherapy.

Have just been to lay flowers at my nephew's grave, he would have been 18 yesterday, he was killed outright by a woman driver 5 yrs ago.........we all miss him very much.......doesn't look like my Ex has been there though, and is was his brother's son....I doubt he even remembered it was his birthday....typical. I used to have to remind him when his own mother's birthday was....glad I dont have to do that any more !

Hope everyone is doing ok, seems one day good, one day bad.....

Kim xx

robster1964

Oh Hun, how sad:( 18 years old, kinda puts some things into perspective, I think.

Good news about your mum, hope everything goes ok, fingers crossed.

Some of the girls are finding it kinda hard today, except Gert who sounds like she is going to take over the world and kick A S S! Big style!

Hope the girls, listen to some good music and lift their spirits. It always boosts my mood no matter what!

Chat lata, got a load of ironing, then making tea, then watching Champions League!!! I love Footie!

Robster xxx

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi Kimlisa, so good to hear that your Mum's cancer hasn't spread, my Sis went through surgery, chemo & radiotherapy & it's not fun.
It is my Nephews 18th today, so I can visually see what you have lost I'm really sorry.
Feeling a lot better now, have stoped moping, just doing the kids lunch boxes for tomorrow & thier dinner, then today is the day DFS phones at 5pm, so I'm ready to apologise to him:o
Haven't heard how my Sis has got on yet, she wasn't back when i just rang, will try later
Back later on
Take care xx

gerturdeanna

Oh I am kicking !!! big style!! hehe!! All money due to me is now being paid into MY bank account, no more running to the post office to cash my giro!!
These are my specs: http://www.specsavers.co.uk/glasses/designer-glasses/red-or-dead-2
Going to look gorgeous in them! heeh!!
Going to docs tomorrow, then will nip to town to see if I can get some new jeans or trousers, maybe some boots and a winter coat for me. Kids don't need any clothes at mo, so am treating myself instead.
Am out tonight to see a medium so won't be posting probably again till after.
Signed up on some dating sites before for a laugh - had sooo many peps messaging me!! hehe!!

scottishfreebiehunter

I took his car today to go an errand he got worried called me asked what i was doing with it lol
Called Kizzy to tell her hi jacked car :rotfl:she must think I am nutter;)
I know how you feel as I still love him,yes yes stupid moooooooooo
Anyway got him cleaning out rabbit hutch
Jules you get a rest,gerti need some of what you are on,online dating sounds yeuk but not to sure if could meet someone decent
Back later big hugs to you all
Oh and now getting excited about oz:T:T:T will get thrown off of plane for walking about to much

dellybelly_2

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

The trouble is I don't know how I'm ever going to move on, when I still feel the way I do & yes Gert I am still in love with him & probably will be for the rest of my life, he's everything to me.
What the hell am I going to do? when he doesn't want me

kizzy - I don't really understand where you are right now feeling how you do. All I can say is, as soon as I realised that my ex didn't think I was worth the effort of working on the marriage, I immediately began to look at him in a different way. The person who's putting me through all this pain is not my husband and I don't love him. Could you maybe make some effort to really look at your ex and see him for what/who he is at the minute and not the person you married or planned a future around?

I've only done this as a way of protecting myself and finding the strenght to go from day to day during this first week. I try not to think too much about the past - again Gone with the wind is my favourite film - think about that tomorrow, but also, do you remember Rhett hung around and hung around waiting for Scarlett to realise that she loved him? Yet in the end, he'd wasted so much love and emotion that when Melly died and Scarlett realised that Ashley only thought of her as a fling and not a great love it was too late for them to save the relationship?? Perhaps that may happen for you too, by the time the DFS realises that he does want to love you and be married you'll have moved on???

Also - I borrowed this book from the library. I've only read the first 3 chapters but it is helping me. (ask me again in 2-3 months time).

Do what you need to do to protect yourself, your heart and your children. This individual has already shown he's beneath you and not worth your love or affection. (again, another way I've found to cope in the past few days).

Oh, got the upstairs mostly cleared out. I now have several trips to make to the dump and to the charity shop. Guess I'd better let the FFA have a look first to see if there's anything he wants.