Marriage over don't know where to start

robster1964

Anyway Guys, theres another thread going called Inspirational songs, what lifts you when times are hard... I think you should try to listen to some of them and to start you off, I have copied these words. Hope they can give you some strength...............


Rascal Flatts - Stand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yB24M7VM

You feel like a candle
In a hurricane
Just like a picture
With a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your help
But you'll be alright
You'll be alright

Cos when push comes to shove
You'll taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cos it's all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given
Before it's gone
And start holdin on
Keep holdin on

Cos when push comes to shove
You'll taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cos it's all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

Cos when push comes to shove
You'll taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cos it's all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Originally posted by eyelinerprincess, I have never heard it, but when I read the words, they made me feel good!!

Robster xxx

trancebabe

Delly - when I first read your story all I could do was Roll My Eyes at your H's behaviour.

It should be law that men with potential to be such T W A T S have it stamped on their forheads before entering into any kind of relationship.

Needless to say... I think your're going to be fine... no... better off without him in the long term. He doesn't deserve to have you in his life!

same for all you other fab ladies!

dellybelly_2

Shiney - yes it was online gaming but not WOW. It was Battlefield 2/3/4 etc. He would chat to the people gaming for hours and not take me on at all.

We were happily married until I gave into allowing broadband into the house when DS was 6 weeks old. We argued about his gaming from DS was 2 months old and eventually I gave in. We had gone through so much together, I was injured in the Omagh bombing, lost my job, infertitilty, virtual bankruptcy to finish the relationship over something so daft - he just wants to be the boy he was at 19 - heavy metal music and motorbikes. Well, he can have it, cos its one less person I'm responsible for.

I have to say, I'm having a really hard time today. I can't seem to get anything done at all and DS is being a nightmare. I've just about managed to change the bedclothes but I wanted to start going through the house and getting rid of stuff that's surplus to requirements so that when we do eventually sell, I'll have a lot less work to do.

I just feel so depressed. I know I'm a strong person and I will get through this but it's only been a week and I've been so overwhelmed with things to do and people calling over that I haven't had 5 minutes to feel since he moved out.

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks Robster, how do I spell it out anymore than I have though? I've told him they are upset, that DS cries for him all the time etc that we aren't a proper family doing family things anymore - what part of that doesn't he understand, he says you can say what you like to upset me over the children, & something about soon I won't listen, can't remember exact words, that was when I had my stalker day!
DD told me this morning that DFS was crying when he took them to the park, so I guess he must be missing them really, just putting on a front for me, though saying that he was crying about them on stalker day.
Oh, I don't know I just want him back & I know I'm going to be shot down in flames - but I love him & I want him

kizzykizzywizzy

DB - I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time, don't beat yourself up, everyday I say I'm going to sort the house out etc, I just about manage to get through the day & that's it & I'm further along than you & I still can't let go:o

gerturdeanna

Kizzy, going to say harsh words now, so keep cool. You love him as he was, he ain't that person anymore, he isn't your hubby, he is now DFS - Don't forget. Bad days happen all the time, and then good days come too. Keep strong and take care

kizzykizzywizzy

It doesn't matter Gert I LOVE HIM, whatever he's done I DO. Nothing will ever change that I just love him so much

gerturdeanna

I know its hard Kizzy. I know it is, and I'm not doubting that you love him, but are you IN love with him? I think the answer will probably be that you are in love with the memory of him, cos thats all it is right now, a memory. Things are never going to go back to how they were, its impossible. If you do get back together, it won't be the same, you'll always be wondering what he is doing, who he is talking to, the trust will take a long time to get back, but it can only be done if both of you want it. At this moment in time, he doesn't.Maybe he will in the future, I don't know. But right now, you have to concentrate on you and DS and DD, and not on DFS.
It s hard, as you know - today is just a bad day Kizzy.

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy you won't get shot down in flames, you're only human not a robot, course you still love him, you might not like him or what he's done but you love him. Its only natural. xx

Have you thought about speaking to him again re the kids and DS being upset yesterday and asking what he suggests? Keep the lines of communication open.

kizzykizzywizzy

He'll be phoning them tonight, I'm going to apologise for shouting at him, just because he's behaved badly doesn't mean I should.
Access is poop, there's just not enough time in the evenings when he finishes work to do much with them, but perhaps I'll say to him to come like you say for half an hour - an hour during the week to let them read to him or do thier spellings or something.
Friday is a good day for him to see them as he's half day, so gets to see them from 3.15 onwards